change my mind

hmm...

--- please skip the next two paragraphs, it's just some nonsensical rhetoric ---

yesterday, i wrote an entry about something quite private. i thought i would have the strength to post it, but no. at the end, i kept it as a draft. i wished that one day i would be able to post that entry for good, and answer the question i asked myself in that post. a question that has cost me dearly. a question that will always haunt me for the next three years. i hope i could find the strength to said yes to that question once and for all. when that time comes, i'll be ready to leave the hall. yes. i wished i could say 'yes' right now. but no, i'm not ready yet. someone help me.

i let one guy read that post since he's the one who asked me to answer his question that led me to draft that entry. i couldn't answer his question too! not until i could answer my very own question. in fact, when i could answer that question, he won't even have the chance to ask me that question again, because the scenario you described will never happen then.

---

well, confused? don't be. it's really nothing. it's only related to me and probably a few people around me (not any kind of people of course, if you didn't feel concerned, then it's most likely not you). well, i've decided that too much of doom and gloom talk won't do me much good. so here, i found this song this morning, right after i posted the previous post. been listening to it a few times today. pretty nice song. and i like the lyrics too. i wish i could change my mind too you know. and stop battling myself day after day.

Change Your Mind
Sister Hazel

Hey, Hey
Did you ever think
There might be another way
To just feel better,
Just feel better about today

Oh no
If you never want to have
To turn and go away
You might feel better,
Might feel better if you stay

Bridge
Yeah yeah
I bet you haven't heard
A word I've said
Yeah yeah
If you've had enough
Of all your tryin'
Just give up
The state of mind you're in…

Chorus
If you want to be somebody else,
If you're tired of fighting battles with yourself
If you want to be somebody else
Change your mind...

Hey hey
Have you ever danced in the rain
Or thanked the sun
Just for shining- just for shining
Or the sea?
Oh no- take it all in
The world's a show
And yeah, you look much better,
Look much better when you glow

Bridge & Chorus

Hey hey
what ya say
We both go and seize the day
'cause what's your hurry
what's your hurry anyway

Bridge & Chorus
---

no, i don't wanna be somebody else. that's for sure. i'm not exactly fond with myself now, but it doesn't matter; i've made my decision that i will be a better man (cheh! reminds me of that Robbie Williams song).

Q: are you crazy?
A: perhaps. i can't be sure really. how can a person judge himself? if everyone said you are crazy, you might well be. but even then, if there were just a few people believing in you, then you probably would have the strength to cling to that bits of sanity.

P.S. bleach 221 raw and M7 scanlation is already out. check out bleach7.
P.S.2. today is the first time i blog-hopped again. and i found this blog. nothing much really. just that it interests me.