ain't good enough!

have you ever liked somebody but you keep holding back because you think you aren't good enough for her?
---

That's Just What You Are
Aimee Mann

(one two)

In our endeavor we are never seeing eye to eye
No guts to sever so forever may we wave goodbye
And you're always telling me that it's my turn to move
When I wonder what could make the needle jump the groove
I won't fall for the oldest trick in the book
So don't sit there and think you're off of the hook
By saying there is no use changing 'cause

That's just what you are
That's just what you are

Acting steady always ready to defend your fears
What's the matter with the truth, did I offend your ears
By suggesting that a change might be a thing to try
Like it would kill you just to try and be a nicer guy
It's not like you would lose some critical piece
If somehow you moved point A to point B
Maintaining there is no point changing 'cause

That's just what you are
That's just what you are

Now I could talk to you till I'm blue in the face
But we still would arrive at the very same place
With you running around and me out of the race

-very cool keyboard (Mellotron?) solo- (lol)

So maybe you're right, nobody can take
Something older than time and hope you could make
It better, that would be a mistake
So take it just so far

'Cause that's just what you are
That's just what you are
That's just what you are

Acting steady always ready to defend your fears
What's the matter with the truth, did I offend your ears
You're like a sleepwalking man, it's a danger to wake you
Even when it is apparent where your actions will take you

That's just what you are
And that's just what you are
That's just what you are
That's just what you are
---

the lyrics writer is so funny. he added that line (in bold) in the song. and yeah, that part is really cool man! seriously. oh, this song is like being sang for me. blah. be a nicer guy. yeah, i should.
---

i just went to queensway with sean today. because some people in my block took (by accident i suppose) half pairs of socks from my laundry. sigh. and from my best socks mind you. the socks that i really like. the socks that i only used 3 times so far. the socks that i will use when i think i'll exercise a lot. sigh. my no-show, no-cushion, nike running socks. ): and i couldn't find the same socks anywhere. so i settled with nike-free (i supposed similar to no-cushion), no-show running socks, which is like a lot more expensive than my previous running socks. it's a pain to buy those two pairs of socks i tell you. i'll make sure that i won't wash these two socks in the laundry room. never. ever.

i also managed to get a nice t-shirt. jersey material, dri-fit. the design is freakin' cool man. with flight at the back and some crazily cool symbol, and zero-gravity in front.

sean got himself a pair of adidas trekking shoes. looks good. the funny thing is, it has this funny drainage system. where your sweat can literally flow down and exits the drains underneath (some wire gauze). so what if you stepped into a pool of water? will the direction of water reversed? i.e. up to your socks and your foot instead of down from your foot and your socks? lol. we'll see soon man!

got some badminton grips for esther. it's a rubber grips. don't know why she insisted on rubber grips. she thought it'd last longer. true. but it's slippery. at least for me. i think i have sweaty palms. lol. especially when i played badminton. and i got some cheap shuttlecocks to play with c-blocker. i feel pain if i used the expensive ones to play with them. haha. one time use and that's it. completely decimated.
---

well anyway, i'm a little sad. i had dinner with eric and wingken on friday night. shiwei joined us halfway and those two guys conveniently left us half way. that's not the sad part, just some background.

shiwei wanted to play badminton and asked me whether we can play on saturday morning. so i stupidly say that i'll find people and tell her later on. so a few c-blockers were playing badminton (and me) until about 1215 past midnight, while she was having krx rehearsal. when i reached back my room, i rushed to write a note for her to say that we can play badminton on saturday although i couldn't find people. i asked her to message me if she read this message. i left it on her door. but obviously she was already sleeping. like duh! 1215 is already well past her sleeping time, for goodness' sake. so we didn't manage to play.

today i went to visit her room for awhile. then she told me that she actually went to find me on saturday morning. she knocked on my door but i couldn't wake up because of the stupid dota game the night before (when we played until 4am). sigh. next time, no dota. not especially when you're in this kind of situation. well, it's over i guess. there's always next time. i hope. oh, and eric was gloating! because he told me to sleep early the night before. should have listened to him (first time i said this kind of things about eric, lol, usually it's suan all the time).

a little happy though, i saw my note pasted on her book cupboard. (: