Sunset Swirl

SWOC

2007-07-14T08:11:00.001+08:00

Seniors Welcome Orientation Camp!!!

Yay!!!

14-15 July 2007

Games.
Pool Games.
Sexy Time (a.k.a. ...).

good luck FWOCers!

apple v. greenpeace

2007-05-14T04:41:00.000+08:00

reading news on greenpeace's rubbish scaremongering on apple has chilled me to the core of my spine. i almost thought that i just lost all my trust on these green campaigns. this is not the way to go greenpeace. by taking non-facts and turning them into facts, when you are exposed, you're just going to make people doubt other green campaigns in the world. and all these, for donations? i'm sorry. if people still donate to you after this, i must say that they're not very bright. you're just another nkf.

an here is greenpeace's response to steve jobs' report on a greener apple: [link]

exam op. 1

2007-04-21T17:36:00.000+08:00

hmm.

first exam went well. really well. surprisingly well. i think i may get A- for this module. or, pray hard, A. seriously, i was quite shocked, i spent 20 hours to listen to webcast and do my notes and 2-sided A4 cheat sheet. the cheat sheet helps for all those memory work (which i'm bad at). 9.5pt, 0.8 line spacing, 2-column, 0.5cm margin cheat sheet. it's a crazy cheat sheet.

oh well, the days of listening to webcast at 1.8x is gone. this professor (for my next module) speaks too fast for 1.8x webcast. i'm listening at 1.3-1.4x. hehe. and this module is really, really tough. getting a B+ would have been a miracle! sigh.

quote, unquote.

2007-04-19T00:10:00.000+08:00

"Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die. Life ain’t a track meet, it’s a marathon."

-Daniel O’Neil, 22, graduate student in environmental engineering, Virginia Tech

Intersecting on a Fateful Day, Lives That Spanned the Country and the World

wakened to a dark day

2007-04-17T20:36:00.000+08:00

it's sad, isn't it? waking up to the world after a peaceful sleep, only to discover 32 students died in a far-flung america. sometime you just want to scream at the stupidity. the virginia state for stupidly allowing purchase of guns (even without background checks) or the university for not closing its door when the first shooting took place earlier that morning.

sorry.

The Prayer
Josh Groban/Charlotte Church

I pray you’ll be our eyes
And watch us where we go
And help us to be wise
In times when we don’t know

Let this be our prayer
As we go our way
Lead us to a place
Guide us with your grace
To a place where we’ll be safe
La luce che to dai

I pray we’ll find your light
Nel cuore restero
And hold it in our hearts
A ricordarchi che
When stars go out each night
L’eterna stella sei
Nella mia preghiera
Let this be our prayer
Quanta fede c’e
When shadows fill our day
Lead us to a place
Guide us with your grace

Give us faith so we’ll be safe.
Sognamo un mondo senza piu violenza

Un mondo di giustizia e di speranza
Ognuno dia la mano al suo vicino
Simbolo di pace e di fraternita

La forza che ci dai
We ask that life be kind
E’il desiderio che
And watch us from above
Ognuno trovi amore
We hope each soul will find
Intorno e dentro a se
Another soul to love

Let this be our prayer
Let this be our prayer
Just like every child
Just like every child

Needs to find a place,
Guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we’ll be safe
E la fede che
Hai acceso in noi
Sento che ci salvera

(:

2007-04-10T05:55:00.000+08:00

Yours is the Kingdom
And the power
And the glory forever is Yours
Heaven and earth bow down
In the wonder of Your Name
Heaven is open
Death is broken
And the glory forever is Yours
Nothing can overcome
The power of Your Name

King above kings
All the universe will sing
Everlasting God
You are wonderful
You are wonderful

And the shout of the earth
Will be Your praise
God forever
And the light unto all
Will be Your wonderful Name
For the glory Lord is Yours
God forever
All the glory Lord is Yours

-yours is the kingdom/hillsong

(:

short & sweet: just the way to end a full day of hardwork. finished 3 projects: 25% 15pp software + group reports, 20% 2000wo essay, 60% 12pp single-spaced project report. yet 2 more are in the pipeline, 3000wo dialogue and AI software + report. yet again, managed to spare an hour and a half coursing (read: running, not driving) through the vein of nus (the A1 route) and the ghost road. and enjoying the walk back through pasir panjang road. somehow i really love the feeling of running at 3am in the morning. nobody's around. the road's totally deserted. the ghost road is the best! the route is just slightly downslope, my favourite kind, plus it's so quiet and peaceful, with kent ridge park surrounding you. it seems that i was just engulfed into the nature.

anyway, time for a good 6 hours of sleep. night world!

ELECO

2007-04-08T02:40:00.000+08:00

it seems like it was ages ago that i cheer with them. never would i think that we will have the chance to cheer together today. yet we did. we lead cheer together again, after ages. all those times we cheer together during both ELECO camps, after each worksessions, during orientation, during all those cheering matches against VJ, AC, RJ, NJ. they all flooding back. here goes, the council illegal cheer (blame me for me almost non-existent written knowledge of hokkien, lol):

hwa chong ai pi mai pi?
ai pi, ai pi, ai pi
hwa chong ai pia mai pia?
ai pia, ai pia, ai pia
hwa chong ai ya mai ya?
ai ya, ai ya, ai ya
hwa chong tu kan kan chiong
chiong, chiong, chiong
hwa chong!

oh well, chorming, herng huei, aaron, marcus. 1 ECACO, 2 SnR, 2 WELCO, no PUBCO. PUBCO is unrepresented again. blah.

anyway, figured out that i should talk with 33rd WELCO, and i did. found out about all the changes they've made. lol. still couldn't beat my time when we managed to oust two canteen stalls out and get a promise of sheltered pathway to chinese high. lol.

oh well, all the songs we sang reminded me of good ol' days. then the mass dances. my favourite dance is still my favourite, wild wild west, a.k.a. mass dance #5, a.k.a. right-jerk, left-jerk. couldn't remember speedy gonzales council dance. ): worse still, can't remember my council dance. lol. anyway, no girls came (from 30th), so too bad.

we beat 31st in attendance. only 3 of them came, jingyi, aloysius, and another guy. 27th almost beats us in attendance, i hope not. i recognized at least 4 27th, including their WELCO chair. 32nd is crazy la! at least 70% of them came! that's like super on lar! met 33rd WELCO chair, WELCO PRO, WELCO Co-ordinator, and GS. it's fun reliving ol' days. they had their buddy interactions too. i mean, the last buddy interactions i had was 3 years ago, with the incoming 31st elects.

hmm. if you're wondering what event this was. it's ELECO Camp 2007 (election committee). basically they were having campfire and all the senior batches were invited. at first, i almost forgot about it. then i was so stressed up with my work that i decided to go and have a look. lucky i did! (:

oh, shoot, almost 3am already. i should go and sleep.

good luck 34th!

then today. this.

2007-04-07T05:16:00.000+08:00

i've just spotted something interesting. usually i'm keeping quite a low profile on this. silently observing people going in and out. but this is a total surprise.

just now, someone enters my blog by means of googling keywords 04s70 blog. i.e.

http://www.google.com.sg/search?q=04s70%20blog&hl=en

it's weird. the past weeks i've been encountering 04s70 over and over again. firstly, i added my angel, joanne of 04s70, to my msn. then chatted with her a few days later. two days ago, i met this girl by accident. at first she thought that i was from s68 or something like that since she always saw me in the right wing. but then i wasn't. in fact, my ct bench was on the left wing. anyway, i figured i tell her that the only time i spent in right wing is to talk with a few old friends (old now, new then) from 04s70 (namely joanne, cherie chan, alicia, etc.). and there goes the link. she (the girl i just met) was from 04s70 too. felyna.

then today. this. after so long of not even hearing anything like 04s70 (or in fact, any other hc classes), i'm bombarded with reference to 04s70.

morning glory

2007-04-07T04:38:00.000+08:00

sean, gabriel: i came back in one piece! not a single dent.

anyway, managed to exhaust the ghost route. which is the farthest i've ever gone. as in, really, really farthest in my whole life. that is really crazy. and the best part is that i'm greeted back to my room by corrinne's song if i kissed you, which is (was, is, probably will always be) my favourite song. that just made my day; made my early morning if you like.

today's adjective: invigorated. (: plus, i've earned myself two-day break. till monday then.

when i saw my play count for if i kissed you, i suddenly wonder which songs were at the top of my play count. so i re-arranged my song list accordingly. it's quite surprising. let's see:

Roll To Me - Del Amitri (5583 times)

If I Kissed You - Corrinne May (4647 times)

Little Superhero Girl - Corrinne May (3065 times)

I've Got A Feeling - Ivy (2928 times)

Angel In Disguise - Corrinne May

Save Me - Corrinne May

The Science of Selling Yourself Short - Less Than Jake (1804 times)

There She Goes - The La's (1799 times)

Everything You Want - Vertical Horizon (1662 times)

Seasons Of Love - Original Broadway Cast of RENT (1623 times)

Life Support - Original Broadway Cast of RENT (1539 times)

Where Are You Going? - Dave Matthews Band (1519 times)

Your Body Is A Wonderland - John Mayer (1441 times)

Nothing Left To Lose - American Hi-Fi (1395 times)

Mad Season - Matchbox Twenty (1302 times)

That's Just What You Are - Aimee Mann (1284 times)

There She Goes - Sixpence None the Richer (1270 times)

Ren Sheng Hai Hai - Wu Yue Tian/Mayday (1219 times)

Love Song For A Saviour - Jars of Clay (1207 times)

Give It All Up - The Corrs (1186 times)

Suddenly I See - KT Tunstall (1182 times)

Stranded - Plumb (1120 times)

really. the top few made a lot of sense. most are really my favourite songs at one time or another. most still is and probably will always be. the first dubious entry comes at number 7 (the science of selling yourself short). it's nice all right. but not exactly a great favourite. yet it snatched quite a high placing.

seasons of love placing is slightly wrong. because this is actually just one version (the shorter version) of the song. the other song was played 164 times. but then, it's unfair since this version (the one in the list) of the song is only 1:09.

life support is really nice, but the placing is totally dubious because it's only 0:56. lol.

john mayer song isn't exactly a favourite. it is to a certain extent, but it surprised me that it's ranked pretty high. give it all up isn't my most favourite the corrs song. yet it is the only one that make it to the top. yeah, i really love the corrs. probably second only to corrinne may. kt tunstall is relatively new, so i was quite surprised that it actually makes it there.

ren sheng hai hai takes the dubious honour of being the only chinese song at the top. haha! it is my favourite chinese song though.

just in case you are wondering why there are 22 songs (instead of 20 or 25 or any other nice numbers), that's because these 22 songs are the only 22 that was played more than 1000 times. (:

as a parting note, the song that made my day. the song is totally wonderful, especially the verses. ahhh. so romantic! some people say i'm not a typical guy. it seems that some people think that i have girl elements in me. heh heh. anyway, i've posted this lyrics before. in the previous posting, i've highlighted parts of the song that i really liked. i'm not going to do again though. too lazy and too tired. going to bathe and sleep already.

If I Kissed You
Corrinne May

If I kissed you
Would fireworks fly
Would angels sing with lollipops
Would dinosaurs cry
Would babies all gurgle in laughter and surprise
If I kissed you

If I kissed you
What would Michelangelo say
Would he still have sculpted David
Would we be immortalized in clay
Would the poets write of love like ours
Would John Donne have his say
If I kissed you

You could be one in a million
You could be the one for me
But I guess I'll never know if I never try
I guess I'll just have to grab you in my arms
And kiss you

If I kissed you
Would you lose track of time
Would you feel a surge of happiness
Running up your spine
Would you run naked in the street
With a tattoo of my name on your behind
If I kissed you
Oh, if I kissed you
Yeah, if I kissed you

03:25

2007-04-05T03:15:00.000+08:00

wohoo! tired. yesh, another hour and a half of torture. tell me i'm crazy, but i started to love the pain. i'm becoming more like house, just that instead of being addicted to painkillers, i'm addicted to the pain. i'm learning where the pain was and learned how to anticipate it and turn it into motivation. yeah, i think i'm going crazy.

anyway, project after project is flooding in. monday is a deadline for 4 projects. i think i'm screwed. big time. anyway though, i've plans. nus is all about being able to come out with something that totally make sense (yet is all bull).

been enjoying nice photos from flickr. i think flickr rocks man. it has so many great photos. you just need to go to explore based on interestingness, then just pick a date (yesterday's date would be the best) and explore the first 100 to 200 photos. pictures paint a thousand words. and these photos paint for me places that i've never been to, people i've never met, wonders i've never seen, colours i've never experienced. they are really windows to the world. ah. (:

plus i finished my animation review. 1h of planning, 45min of writing. totally up to 2671 words. this is the first time i actually put thoughts and souls into technical writings. i felt good. i mean, instead of writing boring scientific review, it's more like bryson's work. not being presumptuous of course, i think my work is still far below standard. yet, it's probably the best i've done this semester. can't believe i just put 1h45 into it.

sneaked into chatterbox today at 9pm. stayed there for awhile. slept there for awhile. not exactly sleeping, it was a shallow sleep.

aiya. anyway, time's up. i should go to sleep already. otherwise i'll be skipping democratic possibilities again.

p.s. when you put the current time as the title of your post, you know you just ran out of ideas. and that your life isn't that interesting.

fastest paper planning

2007-04-04T15:13:00.000+08:00

REMINDER: must thank wanlin for teaching me how to plan a paper. wow! her method is crazy simple (and i bet a lot of people are using it, just that i don't). and now, i already have a rough outline of my paper. including all the necessary references. 2000-word essay, and i have 1500-word outline! this is gonna be fun, sieving through the outline for useless information. seems that this computing review paper is gonna be my best paper this semester.

thanks loads wanlin! d:

exhilarated.

2007-04-03T02:10:00.000+08:00

all right! i'm so exhilarated now! nothing beats a physical accomplishment like just now. i felt really great. like every strain of my being leaped with joy (while at the same time cringe with pain). nothing beats pain management. seriously. to feel pain as an integral part of your training while managing it down to level that doesn't cripple you. finally, for once after so many months, i was able to enjoy a good hour of training, uninterrupted, plain focused and determined.

i've my target laid out nicely all the way 'till cheerleading started again. and i'm going to reach that goal. yeah! felt so great! must be the serotonin and dopamine man.

...

anyway, i've this very nice song. i heard it once when i was shopping at plaza singapura. i think that was the day of cheerobics (because that was the only time i went to ps recently, and i distinctly remember that it was ps). at that time i almost gave up finding the song. actually i gave up. because the only thing i remembered was this eeeeooooo thing the lead kept repeating. i couldn't really catch the lyrics because it was far too noisy. but i did somewhat recognize the singing style, just that i couldn't really brought myself to figure it out. so yeah, i gave up. not really. i kept listening to 98.7 to see whether the song ever come out. but no, maybe because i listened for too short a period. well, ultimately, the song found its way to me! imagine. i just got death note 2. while skimming through the movie (i haven't watched it yet), i almost skipped the credits. just by some off chance, i actually heard a snippet of the song from the credits. but i immediately closed the window. then i thought, eh, that song sounds really, really familiar. okay. let's check it out. so i did! and there it was! the song! just there, laid out nicely. i did a google search on the lyrics (now i could figure the lyrics leisurely). to my surprise, it was rhcp. wow, the last i heard from them was during their 'by the way' time with by the way and californication. oh well, luck was on my side today. even song found its way to me. (:

Snow (Hey Oh)
Red Hot Chili Peppers

Come to decide that the things that I tried
were in my life just to get high on.
When I sit alone, come get a little known
but I need more than myself this time.
Step from the road to the sea to the sky,
and I do believe that we rely on
when I lay it on, come get to play it on
all my life to sacrifice.

Hey oh... listen what I say oh
I got your hey oh, now listen what I say oh

When will I know that I really can't go
to the well once more - time to decide on.
Well it's kiliing me, when will I really see,
all that I need to look inside.
Come to believe that I better not leave
before I get my chance to ride, well it's killing me,
what do I really need - all that I need to look inside.

Hey oh... listen what I say oh
Come back and hey oh, look at what I say oh

The more I see the less I know
The more I like to let it go - hey oh, wooah...

People need the cover of another perfect wonder
where it's so white as snow,
finally divided by a word so undecided
and there's nowhere to go
In between the cover of another perfect wonder
and it's so white as snow,
running through the field where all my tracks
will be concealed and there's nowhere to go.
Ho!

Went to descend to amend for a friend of
the channels that had broken down.
Now you bring it up, I'm gonna ring it up
just to hear you sing it out.
Step from the road to the sea to the sky,
and I do believe what we rely on,
when I lay it on, come get to play it on
all my life to sacrifice

Hey oh... Listen what I say oh
I got your hey oh, now listen what I say oh

The more I see, the less I know
The more I like to let it go - hey oh woah...

People need the cover of another perfect wonder
where it's so white as snow.
Finally divided by a word so undecided
and there's nowhere to go
In between the cover of another perfect wonder
where it's so white as snow
Running through the field where all my tracks
will be concealed and there's nowhere to go.

I said hey hey yeah oh yeah, tell my love now.
Hey hey yeah oh yeah, tell my love now.

People need the cover of another perfect wonder
where it's so white as snow.
Finally divided by a word so undecided
and there's nowhere to go.

People need the cover of another perfect wonder
where it's so white as snow
Running through the field
where all my tracks will be concealed and there's nowhere to go.

I say hey oh yeah oh yeah, tell my love now.
Hey hey yeah oh yeah

disjointed

2007-04-01T12:54:00.000+08:00

.
.
.
.
.

i've just done going around cleaning up my harddisk. wonderful feeling having a well-organized data. unfortunately, cleaning my room isn't as easy (or as interesting) as cleaning my disk.

well, anyway, it's sunday already. life goes on. still have lots of things to do. and i'm getting tired. sigh. okay. what should i do next? i guess i should be doing my review paper. 2000 words to review 2 papers. that's really, really bad.

oh well, i need to design some stuffs by tonight. seems like i'm on a pretty tight schedule. (:

anyway, re-read some of the older bleach chapters. saw how cool ichigo was when he first used bankai. saw shirosaki in his utter craziness. saw the hollow masks of the vaizards. saw the 10 espada colour spread. it's been over a year since i started following bleach.

rewatched blood diamond yesterday night. well, not all of it. only some parts where jennifer connelly showed up. and i kept replaying the part when dicaprio died. it's a really wonderful scene.

well, anyway, i just got death note: the last name. but i'm not planning to watch it anytime soon. just keeping it for later.

working hard for ham cd now. let's see whether anything good will come out of it. ):

next! i'm lovin' it. i'm having craving for mcdonald's breakfast. big breakfast, hotcakes with sausage, sausage mcmuffin. darn. i almost ordered a mcdelivery this morning. but decided against it since it's near lunch time anyway. problem is, now is 2pm and i haven't eaten anything yet.

facebook. i'm getting attached to facebook. it's so fun. wonder why i didn't get it sooner. but no worries, this kind of attachment will prove to be short-lived. give it a month, maybe two. max until sem 1 starts again next academic year.

steppers. missed out outing yesterday. sorry guys. i really, really need to complete my web proxy project. which i did. albeit rather sloppily.

so i'm going to do the GUI for my project. sigh. i hate writing GUI. it's so boring and requires attention to meticulous details. why can't it be as simple as .NET drag and drop. i hate coding java swing. so many things to do. so many things to consider. from the size of each GUI elements to the layouting to the spacing between elements, to the style, to the AWT thread handling. luckily i'm rather familiar with it now.

why are you so ****** ****? i have no idea. but it kinda make sense. since i'm really such an ********** ****.

talking about censorship, i've managed to use some css techniques to censor some of my blog posts recently. some people of course can access the censored part easily if they knew the secrets.

i'd wish that blogger have passworded entry capability.

...

ah yes. so, an entry filled with random boredom of mine. sorry for making it painful for you to read. if you managed to read until this part, my salute goes to you. and all apologies for making you go through such boredom that i've gone through the past hours.

Pretty Baby
Vanessa Carlton

You light me up and then I fall for you
You lay me down and then I call for you
Stumbling on reasons that are far and few
I'd let it all come down and then some for you

[Chorus]
Pretty baby don't you leave me
I have been saving smiles for you
Pretty baby why can't you see
You're the one that I belong to
I'll be the embrace that keeps you warm
For you're the sun that breaks the storm
I'll be alright and I'll sleep sound
As long as you keep comin' around, oh pretty baby

And I know things can't last forever
But there are lessons that you'll never learn
Oh just the scent of you it makes me hurt
So how's it you that makes me better

[Chorus]

Why can't you hold me and never let go
When you touch me it is me that you own
Pretty baby oh the place that you hold in my heart
Would you break it apart again... oh pretty baby

[Chorus]

Pretty baby, why can't you see
Pretty baby, don't you leave me
Pretty baby, why can't you see
Pretty baby, don't you leave me,
Pretty Baby
My Pretty Baby
My Pretty Baby
Don't you leave me [fade]

...

I'M GOING TO ORCHARD TO TAKE A FEW HOURS OFF MY WORK! BLAH! I NEED GOOD FOOD I TELL YOU! I NEED GOOD REST! I NEED TO BE AROUND BOOKS! KINO I'M COMING! ):

sweet memories

2007-03-31T19:01:00.000+08:00

i'm blaming yesterday's rendezvous and the fact that i just got a facebook with lots of hwachong faces and yesterday's chat with my angel. but yeah. here goes. i have tonnes and tonnes of photos to go through. so i went through all my hwachong photos that i can easily laid my hands on (i.e. printed). but i lost most of them somehow. so i tried to take photos of some of them, resulting in some really bad quality pictures.

somehow, taking pictures of pictures reminded me of the fact that some guy is going to arrange screening of movies about movies next semester, he gave a sneak preview that totally killed my interest.

here are some of the bad quality pictures:

the first one is the photos of my seniors-treat-juniors session at changi airport's swensens. the latter is the picture of my godsister, ruth, and me.

anyway, then i went into nostalgic overdrive. specially went over to my linux to grab some old photos from jc. there wasn't much though. there are about 2GB worth of photos, but they are all from council. none from my class. i shall start hunting my classmates for pictures. i posted everything in my flickr, here goes. some preview:

sheesh. the memories. bittersweet.

coincidence, yes?

2007-03-31T14:37:00.000+08:00

"Co-incidence" means that two events unexpectedly happen at the same time, they meet.
-Milan Kundera

yesterday was a day of coincidences. i went to a movie screening of mccabe and mrs. miller. (the movie isn't great btw.) there i met a lot of people. first coincidence, jianhao was there, that was the first time i was able to associate the name and the face. i've seen him, even talked to him time and again before. yet yesterday, someone was telling me about jianhao, and i had no idea who he is. during that screening, the same someone introduced me to jianhao. coincidence.

my classmate, junyi was there. and it led to the second coincidence. his classmate, ying ying, was there for the first time too. so we talked. after some time, we introduced each other (weird timeline, but acceptable). that's when i figured that he's from 02s60 and she's from 04s60, i'm of course, the odd one out from 03s34. coincidence.

that didn't stop there. we were all from the same cca, yet from different time. how many people have ever taken micromouse in their life? few, very few. yet, there we were, i took it in sji, ying ying took it in hwachong, and junyi took it in chinese high. it was destined that none of us took that cca together in hwachong, but at different time. otherwise we'd have met earlier. that, too, is in itself coincidence.

at the end of the screening, i had walked across the road with them instead of walking back home immediately. just a minute or two afterwards, natalie showed up. if i hadn't crossed the road, i wouldn't have met natalie. we wouldn't have talked. i wouldn't be introduced to this guy called eric. coincidence, yes?

life itself is a string of coincidence, don't you think? fate. coincidence. they are the same thing. i don't see any difference between the two. they are events meeting each other at fortuitous moments in life. if they had met differently, nothing would have come out of it.

a long time ago, over three years ago, i received a letter from an angel, who named herself black death (that's the name of the plague that wiped off over a million people in europe during the dark age--or was it middle age?). she said she wasn't from my junior class, and that she's a girl. i thought that's one of my junior class guys trying to pull a prank on me. i had a choice then, a choice of two events, to ignore or to reply, even if i were to be embarrassed myself in the near future. and reply i did. there were about two months worth of letter exchanges until we figured who each other was. she was this girl from 04s70, named joanne. we soon become friends through msn. coincidence.

we lost contact after i left hwachong. that's 2 years back. i added her to my msn a few days ago (my new msn). yesterday, she appeared online, along with all the other coincidences.

so was that fate trying to tell me something. or was yesterday just a day filled with coincidences? i might have never known. but one thing i know, yesterday was a happy day. a very happy day filled with coincidences.

moving on

2007-03-30T15:15:00.000+08:00

heh... so i've finally got around to delete all my previous blog. here goes:

january 2004 - october 2004: iris (13 posts, the only one with entries in bahasa) - DELETED
march 2004 - april 2004: mosaic (12 posts) - DELETED
december 2004 - december 2004: the hidden diary (5 posts) - DELETED

and the hardest to part with:

october 2004 - april 2005: the spillover ink (the original one, the one that continues to become the TSI, and TSI: Unlimited, and TSI: Genesis. all of which but the original ones have been deleted to oblivion. gabriel should be rather familiar with this one) (90 posts) - DELETED

it's time to move on. this blog is the only one i'm keeping now. i didn't keep any archives of these 4 blogs. the only way to get the contents back are through the wayback machines. but then again, i purposely skipped through the web addresses of the blogs (except tsi, i can't possibly forget the web address of tsi), so i won't be able to use wayback to get those pages back.

i feel happy and accomplished. (:

i write to fill the emptiness.

2007-03-30T14:15:00.000+08:00

something's wrong. could you feel the emptiness in the rain? i felt really empty just now, and that's so opposite of the usual rainy day feeling i had. rain is, after all, the very life essence that feed the earth with life. look at the dessert of sahara, or the dried, broken soil of africa. deprived of that rain, the soil hardened, broken, emptied of life. grasses no longer grow tall on the soil. sheeps and cows no longer grow fat without grasses.

so why is the rain today felt empty? not just empty, it felt cold. gloomy. i was tossing and turning about on my bed, reading unbearable lightness of being. the words didn't get to my head and i finally gave it up. then i started writing. i find my solace in writing, right now. looking at my fingers moving fluently around the keyboard. it's been awhile since i write anything with my right hand. it's always been typing and typing and typing. so i've decided to start a diary. not in a blog anymore. but in a hard, real book. i've found a suitable book to write on just now. i'm done with using backspace to erase stuffs i wished i hadn't written.

back to the topic of emptiness. when i feel empty, i daydream. it's something weird, as always. since i was small, i love daydreaming. and my daydreaming are, not to say the least, weird. it started off sci-fi-like. i remembered drawing a very complicated spaceships and weapons when i was in primary school. those drawings finally left the papers and went into my heads. since then it has evolved. i remembered daydreaming about jedi before, for quite sometime.

since last year though, my daydream has revolved around one huge arc, sans jedi, sans sci-fi. it revolved around shinigamis, hollows, vaizards, arrancars. all that went wrong in my day-to-day life were summed up beautifully in a never-go-wrong story arc in that huge thing. being able to move from time to time, from world to world. it's the suitable thing to fill the emptiness.

...

anyway, this blog is moving in circles. i started to feel very strongly to leave the name sunset swirl behind. move to somewhere. somewhere more comfortable. where things aren't as weird or as confusing. the wish to leave this space is reflective of my wish to leave this place. leave it forever. to the land of the daydream.

...

i love. do i really? no.

...

you know, the corrs used to be my topmost favourite artist. i really love their songs. so today i figured out why. their songs are irish you see. and irish to me gave the feeling of freedom. it gave the feeling of littleness. that you're just one person in this nature. i can really imagine myself running around a field, empty of all other souls but that of the birds, the trees, and the grasses. the songs, although sad at times, have the uplifting qualities in them. for example, the following song, titled love to love you. it's a really depressing song when you read the lyrics. but the song itself sounded so soothing. so lovely. it's a wonder you know. what was the purpose of this song? was it regret? was it sadness? was it emptiness? i think it's emptiness. because of emptiness, you form something to fill the emptiness. and for them, that emptiness is filled by the songs. and this is one of them. the song that fill the space of emptiness.

you see, when there is no emptiness, that means you can't accept anything new anymore. you can't form anything new. because there is nothing to fill anymore. you're content. self-actualization. now i understood the meaning of that word well. i'll be self-actualized when there is no longer emptiness in my soul. i'm content. there's nothing to fill anymore. it took my almost a semester to reconcile with this very word. i still remembered all my arguments against a possibility of self-actualization. now, all those feel stupid.

...

i had wanted to write a short thing here. but as usual, it grew out of proportion. you know what? i'm selfish. i am, really.

...

going with my theory of filling the emptiness, i realised why at times i blog a lot more, at others a lot less, and at yet other time, none at all. simple explanation huh? the amount i write is proportional to the amount of emptiness to be filled.

i write to fill the emptiness.

Love To Love You
The Corrs

I would love to love you like you do me
I'd love to love you like you do me
There's a pillar in my way you see
I'd love to love you like you do me

I met you on a sunny Autumn day
You instantly attracted me
When asking for the way
God if I had known the pain I'd make you feel
I would have stopped this thought of us
And turned upon my heel

(Go you should leave me)
Time make it be alright
(Go you must leave me)
Time will help you see the light
(You don't need me)
Time make it be alright
(Go you must leave me)
Believe me when I tell you

I would love to love you like you do me
I'd love to love you like you do me
There's a pillar in my way you see
I'd love to love you like you do me

You recognised my barrier to love
I know there's nothing worse
Than unrequited love,(unrequited love)
So I prayed to God that I could give the love you gave to me
But something's lying in my way, preventing it to be

(Go you should leave me)
Time make it be alright
(Go you must leave me)
Believe me when I tell you

I would love to love you like you do me
I'd love to love you like you do me
There's a pillar in my way you see
I'd love to love you like you do me
I would love to love you like you do me
I'd love to love you like you do me
There's a pillar in my way you see
I'd love to love you like you do me

Break those pillars down
Break those pillars down
Take those pillars down, down, down
Oh, take those pillars down
(Love to love you like you do me)
Break those pillars down
(Love to love you like you do me)
Oh take those pillars down
(Love to love you)
(Love to love you)
(Love to love you)
Take those pillars down
(Love to love you)

[Fade out]

the history boys

2007-03-30T03:41:00.000+08:00

i just watched the history boys just now. was a wonderful show. i felt i tinge (not just a tinge, a lot more) of jealousy that i wouldn't be able to study in a place as beautiful as cambridge or oxford. or not being able to just take arts modules as much as i like (i wish i had been an arts students now).

ah, it's just sad not being able to go exchange or noc or whatever. to think that i had once almost going to apply for LEP, to NOC, and to SEP (see the aim got lower and lower and lower to non-existent now). i just wished i had been smarter, i had worked harder, etc.

but then again, as a friend told me before, i'm lucky to have the best of both worlds. so why should i whine so much? (: seriously, that was the truest thing i've heard in the past year. everyone have been telling me that i'm sacrificing too much for hall and stuffs.

anyway, talking about coincidence, zhenyi was at vivo just a few minutes before my show ends. when i reached back hall, i met maryanne after so long not seeing her around. when i told her about history boys, she said that she might watch it tomorrow if the timing is favourable for her and her bf.

anyway, memorable phrases. really, watching the show made me cringe at time at how sharp these boys were, reminded me so much of my sji english teacher (who's now teaching at nygh i think) and my jc gp teacher (last i heard, she's in canada).

"i know, it's a phase. what if I don't want it to pass? I wouldn't mind. But the pain, the *pain*." -posner

the whole inoculation speech by hector, i think it went something like this: "See it as an inoculation. the pain, it will give you immunity. and the occasional boosters will probably give you immunity for half of your lifetime." -hector

"history is just one f****** thing after another." -rudge (at first i thought it was raj, up till the ending credits ^^ )

"The best moments in reading are when you come across something - a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things - which you had thought special and particular to you. And now, here it is, set down by someone else, a person you have never met, someone even who is long dead. And it is as if a hand has come out, and taken yours." -hector (taken from imdb)

anyway, as a little trivia, the show was an adaptation to a play by alan bennett with the same title, played in national theatre (london).

i'm very confused!!!

2007-03-29T15:45:00.000+08:00

oi, i'm very confused about the timeline. how come everything becomes confusing. usp students are just plain confusing!! darn! okay explain to me. first this:

kimberly, 3/28/2007 10:58:59 PM:
[quote]what person are you asking chris about ah

shafy wants to watch more hitchcock films!, 11:01:22 PM:
oh it's between me and him ;)
haha

nolah
the one he was telling you about
on his blog[unquote]

kimberly says:
see?
she said first
d:

then this:

kimberly says:
[quote]shafy wants to watch more hitchcock films!, 3/28/2007 11:05:10 PM:
some woman at some eating place?
has he been lying?!

how come you dunno who?
i thought you knew[unquote]

i'm very, very, very confused! what eating place? what woman? what ask who? who say what first? seriously leh, when that guy who looks like a girl (oh, and he's quote well-endowed btw) started to dip his leg into things he doesn't know, things get confusing!

i really need somebody to explain to me. before i start accusing people. the one i'm most confused is about that "woman at the eating place". which woman are they referring to? are they referring to the same woman as i do?

second question: "the one he was telling you about on his blog". what does it mean? i seriously don't recall telling anyone about anyone in my blog that has anything to do with this.

oh, and did i tell you that gabe stole my line without citing?

more confusing line:

cH » bloody gabe stole my line . . . says:
ok.. what abt the "some woman at some eating place?" who told u abt htis one?

kimberly says:
someone :x

cH » bloody gabe stole my line . . . says:
which someone?

cH » bloody gabe stole my line . . . says:
how does shafy knows as well?

kimberly says:
ask her

see, the way out is to come clean!

cH » bloody gabe stole my line . . . says:
nope i wont.. i tell u telling u will just start a string of interminable disaster

life: illustrated.

2007-03-29T03:00:00.000+08:00

so many things to say, so little words to write it out. what would be better than to use a song. i realised that i can't live without my itunes library. i will just die of suffocation. right now, i can lock myself in my room for 24 hours, 7 days a week and survive with just my itunes. no i don't even need food. not so much as itunes. so here goes. my old-time favourite, which have been forgotten for quite awhile until today.

this entry illustrate my lives. sadly, it probably can be summed with one sentence. there's always something missing.

[a pretty darn cool intro here, so love it! been ages since i heard it.]

Maybe it would be fun
To get a new opinion
Get a little work done
And forget

Maybe it would be cool
If I rocked it old school
Try to break a gold rule
And a sweat

Better than the first time
Better than the worst time
If I could just reverse time
I'd be set

[CHORUS:]
Testing 1,2,3
Can anybody hear me?
If I shed the irony
Would anybody cheer me?
If I acted less like me
Would I be in the clear?

She got a new apartment
It's out on the escarpment
And in her glove compartment
Are my songs

She hasn't even heard them
Since she found out what the words meant
She decided she preferred them
All wrong

Kind of like the last time
With a bunch of really fast rhymes
If we're living in the past I'm
Soon gone

[CHORUS]
Testing 1,2,3
Could anybody hear me?
If I shed the irony
Would anybody cheer me?
If I acted less like me
Would I be in the clear?

We recognize the present
Is half as pleasant
As our nostalgia for

The past'll be presented
Recast and reinvented
Until it's how we meant it

[CHORUS]
Testing 1,2,3
Could anybody hear me?
If I shed the irony
Would anybody cheer me?
If I acted less like me
Would I be in the clear?

He's everything that you need
You wiped out on your ten speed
And either he will succeed
Or just suck

[CHORUS]
Testing 1,2,3
Could anybody hear me?
If I shed the irony
Would anybody cheer me?
If I acted less like me
Would I be in the clear?

Begin the...

[CHORUS]
Testing 1,2,3
Could anybody hear me?
If I shed the irony
Would anybody cheer me?
If I acted less like me
Would I be in the clear?

Would I be in the clear, G?

Testing 1,2,3
Testing 1,2,3

- testing 1,2,3 / barenaked ladies

[super cool guitar here]
Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas
I need to get myself away from this place
I said yep what a concept
I could use a little fuel myself
And we could all use a little change
Well the years start coming and they don't stop coming
Back to the rule and I hit the ground running
Didn't make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
So much to do so much to see
So what's wrong with taking the back streets
You'll never know if you don't go
You'll never shine if you don't glow

- all star / smashmouth

and here is my favourite line, from another song. a line that sure will ern you (read: guys) slapped on the face when taken out of context.

It's hard to say what it is I see in you
Wonder if I'll always be with you
Words can't say, and I can't do
Enough to prove it's all for you

Rain comes pourin' down,
Fallin' from blue skies
Words give out a sound,
comin' from your eyes

- all for you / sister hazel

if i had wings i would fly
cause all that i need, you are!
and if the world caved in around me
to you i'd still hold on

so i look to you [2x]

he's the one who makes the sun shine
he's the one who that puts the moon in the sky
he's the one who hung the stars
one by one

he's the one who makes the birds sing
he's the one who makes your dreams so high
he's the one who makes me smile
day by day

sitting silent wearing sunday best
the sermon echoes through the walls
a great salvation through it
goes to the people who stare into nowhere
can't feel the chains on their souls

deep in my heart
deep in my soul
there was always something missing
now you've got my full attention

- self-mixed medley / various artists (the last two parts are my favourite favourites, it's so humanish, so down-to-earth, so uncommon, so... i wanted to say 'like me' here, but then again, is it? no.)

secret garden is not so secret anymore when everyone knows about it. so why call it secret garden?

2007-03-29T02:29:00.000+08:00

i tell you, you shouldn't trust anyone. you shouldn't trust a girl and especially the guy who looks like a girl, i.e. gabe. learn chris learn! how many more times must you make the same mistake.

why am i not those people who can just keep their emotion buried down forever and ever. so that nobody needs to know and tease you about stuffs. why!! why!!!!!

now shafy and zhen knows too. this is so looking bad. i'll be trapped in a web of lies soon.

the best way to keep something secret is not to say it at all. i wish i could be one of those people who can keep secret so well. but i'll admit now. i'm bad at secrets. whenever i've something to keep for myself, i'll feel like i'm blowing out already.

hmm. but who cares right? it's just a *****. it'll be over soon. right? (if only i could be as sure as my writing--not to say that my writing is very convincing.)

[read] unbearable lightness of being - ugh... just confirmed one thing some girls have always told me, 'guys are jerks'. and no, i'm not denying that.

Everyday Is A Winding Road
Sheryl Crow

I hitched a ride with a vending machine repair man
He says he's been down this road more than twice
He was high on intellectualism
I've never been there but the brochure looks nice
Jump in, let's go
Lay back, enjoy the show
Everybody gets high, everybody gets low,
These are the days when anything goes

Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

He's got a daughter he calls Easter
She was born on a Tuesday night
I'm just wondering why I feel so all alone
Why I'm a stranger in my own life
Jump in, let's go
Lay back, enjoy the show
Everybody gets high, everybody gets low
These are the days when anything goes

Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer

Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

I've been swimming in a sea of anarchy
I've been living on coffee and nicotine
I've been wondering if all the things I've seen
Were ever real, were ever really happening

Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer

Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Everyday is a winding road (repeat until song fades)

the life you have

2007-03-28T12:54:00.001+08:00

i had a wonderful, wonderful day yesterday. everything just clicked back to normal. lol.

started the day lazily by waking up late in the day. if zhenyi didn't message me, i won't wake up anyway. after having a coffee-gulping session until 4am, who will wake up? so too my surprise, i saw cal already fresh awake when i went out from hall. wait. why did i go out of hall yesterday? hmm. did i even get out? yeah, i did. but i couldn't remember for what.

oh yeah, we had democratic possibilities project meeting with hara, gab, nat, and abdul. that wasn't after we had a guy's pillowfight (that didn't involve pillow but involved a taupok). figured a few funny things. i felt more at home in c blk yesterday after fighting with wenhao, denis, and lim shen. lol.

ah, dp meeting was great too. i couldn't focus though. i was thinking of a lot of other things. no, actually, just one thing. but it was huge enough to distract my all the way. we didn't achieve anything man! in fact, i was so distracted that i blurted out something i should have kept to myself. now, i'm so going to regret it. especially with such busy-bodies like gab, hara, and nat (sorry abdul, you just don't seem like the busy-body kind).

then watched A|X in mpsh. the starting wasn't bad, but it got lower and lower and lower. up until the scenario pieces, all was fine. once i started on, then that's it. was so funny. half way through, near the end, somebody replied my message about A|X at mpsh, 'hahas.i'm back!'. she's just at the back of the mpsh, just came back from library. ah, nvm. i guess this is another half-story that won't interest you. this one is just for me to know and the rest to read and figure out. d:

low point. zhenyi gave me my sea response paper yesterday. it was another B+. so sad.

then we had steppers meeting. [censored] nvm. small things.

then had a little less than an hour to talk to my friend. as usual, talked left, right, center. i don't really know what we talked about lar. i wished i had known her sooner. no offense. but she's like this guy friend you can talk to about things you won't talk about with your other guy friends.

anyway, our conversation made my day. i thought cheerobics was a peak of my happiness. but no, i realized i have lots of other little things that can make me thoroughly happy. i'm not ready to leave steppers behind, but i sure am ready to consider other things in life being more important than steppers.

life is funny, isn't it? it throws shit at you at times. but at others, it throws gold. it just that we think too much of the shits that we miss out the golds. shit happens. but who cares, when you left the hall, you'll only remember the sweet memories of hall. you're so right. looking back, only sweet memories of jc and sec school existed. memories of friends i had (would still have if i didn't focus too much on the shits of life).

"you don't want a girlfriend now, but that doesn't mean you really, really don't want a girlfriend. it's just that you feel that the time is not right with steppers and everything *selfish?*. but deep inside, you want that someone to talk to at the end of the way. someone to whine about the sucky day you had in training. you just want that someone who'll always be there without fail."

right.

anyway, old song. i've been listening to all my high-rated songs. and this song just popped right out of nowhere. really used to love this song a lot. still do now i guess, since i've been playing it on repeat for a few minutes. the lyrics is so apt.

Accidentally In Love
Counting Crows

So she said what's the problem baby
What's the problem I don't know
Well maybe I'm in love (love)
Think about it every time
I think about it
Can't stop thinking about it

How much longer will it take to cure this
Just to cure it cause I can't ignore it if it's love (love)
Makes me wanna turn around and face me but I don't know nothing 'bout love

Come on, come on
Turn a little faster
Come on, come on
The world will follow after
Come on, come on
Cause everybody's after love

So I said I'm a snowball running
Running down into the spring that's coming all this love
Melting under blue skies
Belting out sunlight
Shimmering love

Well baby I surrender
To the strawberry ice cream
Never ever end of all this love
Well I didn't mean to do it
But there's no escaping your love

These lines of lightning
Mean we're never alone,
Never alone, no, no

Come on, Come on
Move a little closer
Come on, Come on
I want to hear you whisper
Come on, Come on
Settle down inside my love

Come on, come on
Jump a little higher
Come on, come on
If you feel a little lighter
Come on, come on
We were once
Upon a time in love

We're accidentally in love
Accidentally in love [x7]

Accidentally

I'm In Love, I'm in Love,
I'm in Love, I'm in Love,
I'm in Love, I'm in Love,
Accidentally [x2]

Come on, come on
Spin a little tighter
Come on, come on
And the world's a little brighter
Come on, come on
Just get yourself inside her

Love ... I'm in love

sweat. blood. tears.

2007-03-28T00:08:00.001+08:00

cheerobics 2007 was over on saturday.

kr steppers rocks PS. we got sunshine award, best spirit award, and... and... 1st RUNNER UP! still can't believe it till now. how can we, a first-timer in cheerobics, got 2nd place?

you know what? all of the hardwork, midnight training, torn lips, sprained ankles, stiff necks, love bites (i.e. gay kisses--when two bases kiss each other when a cradle goes bad). all the all-nighter we pulled to finish up the flag and training routines. all the sianness of listening to the same music over and over again. all the fall from 2.5 level, the failed b-toss, the scary tumbles, the pissed-off-ness, the craziness, the drop in CAP.

all of those.

they are all worth it. worth every single second we put in. worth every single person. worth every single ounce of emotions.

worth every single drop of sweat. worth every single millilitre of blood spilled. worth every single tears.

the suppers we had. the friends we made. the joy we had. the bittersweet moments. we went on emotional rollercoaster again and again. cheerobics in march, cheerobics in june, cheerobics back in march. ihg closing in two weeks, haven't trained anything yet, haven't linked everything yet. a day before cheerobics, dance was changed, must add new things into muscle memories and erase old ones. all the trouble with parents, with girlfriends, with boyfriends.

so will i do it again? yes, i will. not a chance you'll see me quit next year. with people like them, i'll do it again, and again (only twice because then i'd graduate, lol).

jianping, junmin, step, wanlin, chongyunn, aili, siyong, rongren, shimin, calvin, jiahui, alvan, jonathan, lele, junkang, youyi, chunting, ezekiel, jeffrey, brian.
---

so many things have passed. two years ago, i was still this starry-eyed freshie. i still remembered our first training in that green patch down there, beside the dining hall. still remembered kelchoo did a scary elevator with lijin. we couldn't even do a darn easy elevator, or a shoulder-stand. look at us now. so different now to then that i can't believe the two are the same squad.

it's really sad that now, some of us are leaving steppers behind. jianping, step, and chongyunn are graduating. junmin and wanlin are going for exchange. it's like a new squad all over again next year. nothing's gonna be the same again. but i know i'll get past it. the freshies are really really great to have around. plus next year, new freshies will come in.
---

so we went to celebrate yesterday. went to billy bombers to eat dinner. it was just okay. not exceptional at all. expensive? yes. all right, the shakes are really good. but the main course is normal. nothing special.

then we went to watch TMNT. big disappointment (as i'd expected). sigh.

finally, the 6 of us, the last few that remained behind, went to coffee club to drink. we chatted a lot. going left, right, centre. two themes keep recurring, relationship and future steppers (both are deliberately vague to not reveal too much). i haven't had such a talk for a long, long time. where we just sat and talked and talked and talked. the last time i had such chat with steppers were almost a year ago. it was a dejavu, mind ya.

anyway, it was wonderful. went back close to 430am. thanks everyone. love you guys.
---

while we had all those things yesterday, i exchanged a couple messages with a friend. this is another can't believe so moment. i only knew this girl for barely 3 months, but we were already exchanging sleazy stories (eh, not sleazy in that way, i mean 'sleazy' as in not things you'd normally share with normal friends). i even told her about the sw moment that happened last year. i mean, only those two a-blockers had my confirmations about that. the rest were just guessing and teasing me around. i just kept it floating without confirming anything. so yeah. every since fallen angel (a code name for someone from the past, someone i was pretty close with) i haven't had that much things to talk to with a girl. i realized that even with my ex, we didn't really talk about things that matter. it was very superficial. no wonder it didn't last.

hmm, that makes me wonder. how's fallen angel doing now? i hope she's still steady with her longtime boyfriend. still remembered the time they got together back when i was in jc. she was so indecisive about him. her friends said he was a playboy. i said if she liked him, just go for it. the last time i talked to her, a few months back, they were still together, more than two years already. lol. how did we drift apart? i guess it's the business of A level, and girlfriend, and work.

i've just added fallen angel to my new msn. i'd always want to do that, but somehow, it got delayed until now.
---

Seasons of Love
Original Broadway Cast of R.E.N.T

Company:
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Six Hundred Minutes
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Moments So Dear
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Six Hundred Minutes
How Do you Measure - Measure A Year ?

In Daylights - In Sunsets
In Midnights - In Cups Of Coffee
In Inches - In Miles
In Laughter - In Strife

In - Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Six Hundred Minutes
How Do You Measure
A Year In The Life

How About Love ?
How About Love ?
How About Love ?
Measure In Love

Seasons Of Love
Seasons Of Love

Joanne:
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Six Hundred Minutes
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Journeys To Plan

Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Six Hundred Minutes
How Do You Measure The Life
Of A Women Or A Man ?

Collins:
In Truths That She Learned
Or In Times That He Cried
In Bridges He Burned
Or The Way That She Died

All:
It's Time Now - To Sing out
Tho` The Story Never Ends
Let's Celebrate
Remember A Year In The Life of Friends

Remember The Love
Remember The Love
Remember The Love
Measure
In Love

Joanne:
Measure Measure Your Life In Love

Seasons Of Love ...
Seasons Of Love
---

p.s. what the hell is wrong with blogspot! i lost my cheerobics post yesterday. and i almost lost this one if i hadn't copy and paste it to notepad.

ad design

2007-03-09T14:07:00.000+08:00

check this out! my first graphic design art!

done. done. done.

2007-03-03T06:35:00.000+08:00

AI midterm. done.

wasn't so bad. didn't manage to finish, but good overall, considering i only started reading the less than 14 hours before the paper.

software eng midterm. done.

... well. my greatest hope this time around. didn't manage to study at all. thought it's closed-book, apparently it's open. too bad i didn't print any notes. 20 mcqs were such a breeze. (:

networking web server assignment. done.

pretty well too. darn organized although spent almost 15 hours on it. worth it i guess. hahaha!
---

anyway, anyway! i can't believe i'll say this. but i found an indian song that i really love! omg! it's really, really nice. i should tell pk soon. the song is freakin' nice i tell you! i even uploaded it for you all to listen to.

come, come, download the song here!

and here's the lyrics! this is not the original version. this version is an a cappella sang by Penn Masala of University of Pennsylvania. anyone got the original song mp3? pass me, pass me!

Bharat Humko Jaan Se Pyara Hai
Penn Masala

Bhaarat humko jaan se pyaara hai
Jabse nyaara gulistaan hamara hai
Bhaarat humko jaan se pyaara hai
Jabse nyaara gulistaan hamara hai
Sadiyon se bhaarat bhoomi duniya ki shaan hai
Bhaarat maa ki raksha mein jeewan kurbaan hai
Bhaarat humko jaan se pyaara hai
Jabse nyaara gulistaan hamara hai

Ujade nahin apna chaman
Toote nahin apna vatan
Mandir yahan
Masjid yahan
Hindu yahan
Muslim yahan
Milke rahein hum pyaar se
Jaago

Hindustani naam hamara hai
Sabse pyaara desh hamara hai
Janmbhoomi hai hamari shaan se kahenge hum
Sab hi to bhai bhai pyaar se rahenge hum
Hindustani naam hamara hai
Sabse pyaara desh hamara hai

Assam se gujarat tak
Bengal se maharashtra tak
Jaati kai hum ek hain
Bhaasha kai sur ek hai
Kashmir se madras tak
Keh do sabhi hum ek hain
Aawaaz do hum ek hain
Jaago

one hundred hours of solitude

2007-03-01T00:40:00.000+08:00

after almost a hundred hours spent on the peer appraisal system, it's finally done! working fine like nobody's business. perfecto! lol! a hundred hours of doing the system itself and countless tens of hours spent on researching on AJAX the past couple of weeks. apparently, the best way of learning is still to bloody use it. yeah. use it! rocks!

anyway, i finally replaced my dying N6510. i'm well settled with N80 now. very happy. price dropped like crazy the past month. i got it at SGD417 after less 120 from my plan. that's like 300 dollars drop from the price two months ago. wohooo!

the best thing is that it got wifi. now i can surf internet everywhere. lol!

ah, i wanna sleep now. btw, this song is very nice, especially the aca version by USC Sirens.

Time Is Running Out
Muse
(A cappella version by USC Sirens)

I think I'm drowning
asphyxiated
I wanna break this spell
that you've created

you're something beautiful
a contradiction
I wanna play the game
I want the friction

you will be the death of me
you will be the death of me

bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

our time is running out
our time is running out
you can't push it underground
you can't stop it screaming out

I wanted freedom
bound and restricted
I tried to give you up
but I'm addicted

now that you know I'm trapped sense of elation
you'd never dream of
breaking this fixation

you will squeeze the life out of me

bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

our time is running out
our time is running out
you can't push it underground
you can't stop it screaming out
how did it come to this?
ooooohh

you will suck the life out of me

bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

our time is running out
our time is running out
you can't push it underground
you can't stop it screaming out
How did it come to this?
ooooohh

suddenly i see.

2007-02-25T07:00:00.000+08:00

gosh so many things happening. so happening!

anyway, friday went to RI at night (yes RI! for the first time in my history i'm visiting that place). We had a gym training in RI gym. blah! why? out of so many gym in singapore must we choose that place? so far!! lucky jp drove us back. our taxi ride to go there cost us about 15 bucks.
---

today actually went to see chingay for the first time in my life history. just because kr are performing. but no! did i even watch it? no! i went to kinokuniya instead. after an hour or so of browsing around i left. yeah, today's browsing was a bit funny. moving from literature, to language, to GRAPHICS DESIGN! wth!? i thought so too. but those designs were really entertaining. quite nice and some are pretty soothing.

anyway, anyway, went out just in time to see the kr trains are still a lot behind. so i decided to go to hmv! yes! i couldn't stand the crowd anyway. too suffocating. with all the smokes here and there. so yeah. stuck at hmv for another hour. that's when i saw this nice snippets of a movie. no the movie's opening was okay. but the music was crazy nice!! guess what? it's the opening to the devil wears prada. actually i didn't know. i guessed. i knew my guess was right when i saw meryl streep. no actually earlier. i knew i was right when i saw anne hathaway went to the runway building. well, i'll be watching the show today. just got it from... somewhere. (i didn't buy it, i didn't borrow from friend, so it must be ???)

btw, did i say that the opening song is fantastic? i did, didn't i? but could't help but to say it again! it's wonderful.
---

went out just in time to run and catch kr performance just next to heeren. then i went to follow the train all the way to ps. hmm. was quite tired though. i didn't manage to steal anything better than glimpses. too many people. lucky i was at the lousier side (which means less people, lol). anyway, i think i recognizes some people.

when they finished performing, i thought of going there and talk to some people that i knew. but then. i thought not. let them enjoy their victories. lol. good work guys. i know it was stressful, but good work anyway. well, that was the end, i quickly took an mrt ride to harbourfront and a bus ride back to hall.

that's it.
---

anyway, did i say that the devil wears prada's opening song is superb? started to get irritated huh? so here goes. the song! suddenly i see by kt tunstall. wonderful lyrics also. (: btw, isn't the singer's name interesting? i've to find out what it stands for. but i'm too tired now. so later. after i sleep.

Suddenly I See
KT Tunstall

Her face is a map of the world
Is a map of the world
You can see she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
And everything around her is a silver pool of light
The people who surround her feel the benefit of it
It makes you calm
She holds you captivated in her palm

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me

I feel like walking the world
Like walking the world
You can hear she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
She fills up every corner like she's born in black and white
Makes you feel warmer when you're trying to remember
What you heard
She likes to leave you hanging on her word

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me

(Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me

And she's taller than most
And she's looking at me
I can see her eyes looking from a page in a magazine
Oh she makes me feel like I could be a tower
A big strong tower
She got the power to be
The power to give
The power to see

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me

that's the way it is

2007-02-22T07:28:00.000+08:00

...

C'mon

I been up, I been down
I been side to side, I been buried alive
I been hurt, I been robbed
but I'm ok

I been hot, I get cold
I been in a cell
and outside as well
I'm a slob w/ no job but I'm alright

cuz I don't wanna shout
and I don't wanna scream
and I don't wanna talk all night about these stupid things
because its like that
and that's the way it is

I know everything I need to know now
yeah that's the way it is
I know everything I wanna do now
and that's the way it is
I know pictures get faded
yeah that's the way it is

cuz its like that

I get high, I been low
I can't turn around
I been upside-down
I choke cuz I'm broke all the time

you're not real but fake
I got a real good mom
I got a real good dad
I'm a creep
but I sleep just fine
and I don't wanna shout
and I don't wanna scream
and I don't wanna talk all night about these stupid things
because its like that
and that's the way it is

I know everything I need to know now
yeah that's the way it is
I know everything I wanna do now
and that's the way it is
I know pictures get faded
yeah that's the way it is
I know everything I need to know now
cuz that's the way it is
I know everything I wanna do now
and that's the way it is

I been up, I been down
I been side to side
I been buried alive
I been hurt, I been robbed
but I'm alright
because its like that
and that's the way it is
yeah that's the way it is

It's like this now
It's like that now
its like that-that-that-that its like that now
we don't stop now
just rock now
let sunshine fall on me now
and that's the way it is

I know everything I need to know now
and that's the way it is
I know everything I wanna do now
yeah that's the way it is

It's like this now
It's like that now
its like that-that-that-that its like that now
we don't stop now
just rock now
let sunshine fall on ur block now
and that's the way it is

I know everything I need to know now
and that's the way it is
I know everything I wanna do now
yeah that's the way it is

It's like this now
It's like that now
its like that-that-that-that its like that now
we don't stop now
just rock now
let sunshine fall on ur block now
and that's the way it is

That's The Way It Is
LFO

732am . . . going to sleep

p.s. check out a-cappella.com. it has quite a substantial mp3 collections of us colleges' a-cappella collections. it has complete BOCAs too, each cd costing about USD9 to download! (:

how you doin'?

2007-02-19T18:45:00.000+08:00

wth!

and now i finished 5 seasons of friends. what the hell!! 3 weeks = 5 seasons! i must be nuts. at first i just wanted to see chandler and mon's get-together in season 4. then i started watching season 5, then 6, then 7, then 8. i don't have 9, so i did 10, then i did 2. wow! i think i'm so screwed (in term of school work of course).

it's been quite some time since i watched friends. i still remembered 2004, when the last episodes of friends went on air in the states (yeah, i downloaded d:). that's like an "end of an era". 10 years of me watching friends. i was like 8 years old when i first watched the show. that's the show that encouraged me to read subtitle. before that, i just skimmed through english language movie since i wasn't smart enough to read the sub fast enough. well.

how you doin'?

oh anyway, i really love monica. (: hahaha! and chandler. and joey. and rachel. and phoebe. and ross. argh! everyone! but monica is my favourite.

anyway, anyway, i also finished half a season of frasier the past few days. season 3. and i watched bleu from trois couleurs trilogy. okay, i got what a friend of mine said when she stated that european movies make you think a lot. yeah, that show does.

then what else? i've been trying to watch little miss sunshine and life is beautiful but haven't managed to do so. i'm rewatching serendipity again.

oh, of course, my previous post: l'auberge espagnole.

oh gosh. i'm throwing this mid-sem break away by watching shows after shows. somebody help me!
---

oh, i'm trying to register for amazon.fr. but i can't understand the website at all! it's so foreign. ):
---

p.s. anyway, i've added a new link on the left. introduce to you my classmate this semester shafiqah. (: i'll probably add more when i start reading the rest of my classmates' blogs.

l'auberge espagnole

2007-02-19T04:15:00.000+08:00

oh, why? why? why must the americans be so obsessed with audrey tautou (don't get me wrong, she's great, i like her acting). this show is so not about audrey tautou. this show is about romain duris, judith godreche, it's about kelly reilly, cecile de france, kevin bishop... it's about any of the actors but audrey tautou. she only appeared like for a short 10 minutes out of the two hours! and guess what, in the american version of the dvds (well, i've to get this one, since it's the only one with english subtitle), audrey tautou is the only person listed in the dvd cover. how swell! ): come on!! give them more credits!

anyway, the show itself is gggrrrreeaatt! probably because i can really connect with the storyline. it's wonderful, really. a story about the uptight and shy xavier (whose girlfriend is martine, played by audrey tautou), played by romain duris. because of the career advice given by his dad's friend, he went for exchange to spain. contrary to his expectation, he grew fond of spain and his roommates. it's so touching at parts, and funny at others. really wonderful seeing him grew up, learning about how to love, learning to tolerate, be disappointed, having an affair with just-married lady, having a lesbian roommate, etc. erasmus!

if you got the time, watch it, a story about a boy who found his rest in travel. (btw, he ended up becoming a writer, instead of working in european commission.) oh, and the soundtrack is wonderful! if anyone could get me the soundtrack, i'd be more than grateful! (:

nothing else matters

2007-02-17T02:40:00.000+08:00

when you were out there performing, nothing else matters really. it's us, just us, having fun in the middle of those blue mats. we're one. blame no one. expect nothing. do something.

i don't know how much i'm going to miss you guys. especially the first batch of steppers. i can't imagine that soon, there'll be only rongren and i (and siyong at most) left from the bases. for flyers, junmin and wanlin is no longer around for cheerobics and step will graduate after cheerobics. it will feel totally different now. i'm going to really miss you guys. (i'm sorry for the dancers, but i do feel closer with the stunts gang.) yeah, i know i know, there're the freshies and all, but i still can't believe you guys won't be around anymore. jianping, my b-toss partner, our chemistry is so damn good man. junmin, my favourite flyer (and chair partner). wanlin, my shoulder stand flyer and vice-captain. step, the loudest (can break your eardrums) yet the one that i admired most.

i'm sorry. i guess i'm getting pretty emo now. must be because just now a few of us went to watch eusoff dance production (which was so damn good btw). and being with them again reminded me that there's only a short time left between now and the goodbyes. i tell you what, if last year's command doesn't make me cry, this year it will be, even if it's just for you guys. i can't believe this. the end. ): so fast.

ihg closing, our final glory together as the first batch of kr steppers (with the freshies):

rehearsal

2007-02-13T22:49:00.000+08:00

ihg closing is coming. we won girls squash just now.

just finished in-field rehearsal for cheerleading for ihg closing on thurs. i'm so tired i feel i can just sleep myself through for more than ten hours. so tired. so busy. so whatever.

but this is my life. and i'm really lovin' it nowadays.

thanks for those people around me. cheering me up now and then. the cheerleaders (the heartwarming suppers). sean. zhen. the democratic possibilities classmates. the numbingly ... (just guess the word, almost any 'word' should fit) eric. these gang of d-block girls i somehow got to talk to a lot recently (that refers to perlynn, mal, and sam).

the roll goes on. fengqi whom i know from my southeast asia class. the server room gang (i.e. infotech) for the election (can't say i'm not happy, but it's still a terrible fate for me ): ). even zee for the computer and monitor talk. shaopeng. these hall production gang i met and chatted with after i went for my 'stress' run at 1am in the morning a few days ago.
---

today i have two songs. completely different in meaning. both applicable to my life in some ways. funny how one asking to leave me alone another asking for where you are. (oh no worry, i don't think i like anyone, i think it's just the v-day blues, lol!)

ciao. ah, and to the singles and doubles out there, happy valentine's day. won't be so lonely tomorrow with the planned singles' dinner for the cheerleaders.

---
Leave Me Alone
The Veronicas

I'm getting tired of you pushing me 'round
Dragging me down
Making a sound because you wanna
I guess that's why I like messing with you
Putting you through
A lesson or two, because I'm gonna
Before I go my own way
I just gotta say

Leave me alone
Get out of my face
I'm tired in love
Feeling so misplaced
Time for you to go
You still know I'm better off on my own, oh
Leave me alone

This isn't gonna work
Don't call me on the phone
Because I'm all out of words
I'll face the unknown
Thinking about all the ways that I've grown
Oh, Leave me alone

There was the time I thought you were the one
Having some fun
Getting it done
What an illusion
'Cause you were trying to take control of me
That couldn't be, I need to be free of this confusion
Don't give me a guilt trip, because I'm so over it

Leave me alone
Get out of my face
I'm tired in love
Feeling so misplaced
Time for you to go
You still know I'm better off on my own, oh
Leave me alone

This isn't gonna work
Don't call me on the phone
Because I'm all out of words
I'll face the unknown
Thinking about all the ways that I've grown
Oh, leave me alone

Don't turn around and don't look back
I see right through all your selfless acts

Oh

Leave me alone
Get out of my face
I'm tired in love
Feeling so misplaced
Time for you to go
You still know I'm better off on my own, oh
Leave me alone

This isn't gonna work
Don't call me on the phone
Because I'm all out of words
I'll face the unknown
Thinking about all the ways that I've grown
Oh, leave me alone

If you win your love

I'll feel better on my own

Leave me alone
---

Where Are You Now?
Michelle Branch

Maybe I'd be better on my own
No one ever seems to understand me
It's easier for me to be alone
But there's still a piece of me
That feels so empty
I've been moving the world
I've seen a million different places
But I flew the crowds and all the
faces
And still I've been looking for you

Chorus:
Where are you now?
I'm trying to get by with
Never knowing it at all
What is the chance
Of finding you out there?
Or do I have to wait forever

I write about the things I've never known
And I could find a moment just to
slow down
It makes me think I'll never have the chance
To figure out
What it's all about
So tell me
What it's all about cause

Chorus

Yeah

Where are you now?
I'm trying to get by with never ever knowing at all
And I still don't know

Chorus

being myself

2007-02-04T01:31:00.000+08:00

i missed being myself again. and i've becoming more like me everyday. finally. i'm happier and everything now. going for talks, seminars, doing things i really like. more importantly, checking nusnet email once per day and not more! which reminds me, i haven't checked it today.

still busy? yes, not a question. it's a statement of fact. but oh well, that's part of life, accept it and be happy!

went for the first part of the 6 parts usp film series. they screened the good, the bad, and the ugly. fantastic. it's probably the oldest movies that i've watched since i was small. i mean my dad loved this kind of wild west shows, but i knew i hated it. i guess it's dad-son syndrome thing, when the young son hates the movies that the dad likes because the young son thinks that it's uncool and 'old' kind of things? yeah. but the show was really great. funny too! lame to be exact. probably the first clint eastwood movie i watched.

oh, and was accidentally brought in this gossip sessions with my friend's friends yesterday. it was crazy! i mean girls' gossips are really thorough. it seems that i got to know like more than ten people whose face i haven't seen before just by listening to them. i even started to put faces on these faceless people i've yet to meet. and after listening to their gossips, i think i'd rather not meet most of them. but oh well.

at night, gab, zhen, and i were involved in another session of talkingcock@usp. we walked all the way back from the screening to hall (and gab to the busstop), talking about all sort of things. well, it was fun, but i couldn't remember much about what we're talking about. i was a little terrified to face my captains, because i'm freakin' late for training. (i'd thought the screening would end at 9pm, not 10 plus.)

plus songs update, so many songs discovered in so many days i'm not blogging. so lovin' my itunes playlist. okay, this song, friends' i'll be there for you, but the instrumental version! super nice! it's played during the credits of friends season 5 season finale. super nice! i think it beats the rembrandts' version by a huge margin. and for songs of the day (and of the moment since it's playing in my itunes), it's wisemen by james blunt.

Wisemen
James Blunt

She said to me, "Go steady on me.
Won't you tell me what the Wise Men said?
When they came down from Heaven,
Smoked nine 'til seven,
All the shit that they could find,
But they couldn't escape from you,
Couldn't be free of you,
And now they know there's no way out,
And they're really sorry now for what they've done,
They were three Wise Men just trying to have some fun."

Look who's alone now,
It's not me. It's not me.
Those three Wise Men,
They've got a semi by the sea.
Got to ask yourself the question,
Where are you now?

Really sorry now,
They weren't to know.
They got caught up in your talent show,
With you pernickety little bastards in your fancy dress,
Who just judge each other and try to impress,
But they couldn't escape from you,
Couldn't be free of you,
And now they know there's no way out,
And they're really sorry now for what they've done,
They were three Wise Men just trying to have some fun.

Look who's alone now,
It's not me. It's not me.
Those three Wise Men,
They've got a semi by the sea.
Got to ask yourself the question,
Where are you now?
---

btw, i watched babel. it was... i don't know. i've no idea what's going on. this is the kind of movie you'll like zhen! because i don't understand it at all! the story (no, stories) were there, but they were stitched in a weird ways. there's no time continuity (which i thought was great, because it made me realized that i wanted a time continuity, and it made the movie felt weird at first). there were 3 stories, all related in a very, very small ways. mom got shot in morocco by some small kid, far away from hospital. dad was desperate. and they got closer. that's one. maid couldn't get somebody to watch over the two kids and brought them with her to mexico to attend her son's wedding. got trapped in border when coming back to the states, stuck in the middle of the dessert, almost died, found, maid got deported, kids were saved. a deaf-mute girl in japan, wanted to have sex so badly, story revolved around thinking that she can be accepted into society if she could have sex with somebody, but couldn't get anyone to have sex with her. cried and cried and cried at the end. the girl's dad was the owner of the rifle the kid used to shoot the other mom. gave it to his hunting guide in morocco as a gift. oh well. tough show. but nevertheless gave a lot to think about. i'll ponder about it again sometime.

okay. good day. good night everyone!

conflicting nature

2007-01-23T13:54:00.000+08:00

usually, when i'm reading a book, i'll just devour as fast as i could, i just want to know what's going to happen next, and after that, and after that. it's been different with the last couple of books. i want to know what happens next, and after that, and after that, but at the same time, i also want to take the time to thoroughly enjoy and feel the flowing prose. it's been a completely different experience. it's exhilarating. currently, i'm reading this book by primo levi, titled the periodic table. no, it's not about chemistry, it's his autobiography, well, part-autobiography, part-philosophy. i don't even know whether everything he wrote down in that book is real or whether there's sprinkles of fiction about. but it's definitely a really good book. i've been reading it for a couple of days and i've only reached page ninety odds. that's so unlike me. usually, i'll finish such a short book in two hours or three (it's only 220 pages long).

finally, i'm rediscovering the meaning behind my appetite towards books.
---

everyone in hall is feeling the heat now. everyone is busy with stuffs. some more than others. but nearly everyone is nearing the breaking points. a friend of mine is so tired from having not enough sleep and yet she still read her readings like crazy in class. she still did her chingay and cheercomm well.

yet another is having hard time with hall production, which is in shambles in my opinion. i just hope that hall production will at least manage to scrape through this year. it's looking further and further from success that i have doubts it'll manage to. but everyone knows i'm a hall production born-skeptic. this year especially. what with hall life as a theme. sigh. i want to say bs, but i guess i shouldn't. it's their hardwork after all; and some of them are actually my friends.

another friend of mine is also feeling the heat from academic stuffs and all the things that have went wrong in her life recently. i hope you'll get better soon.

...

okay, time's up unfortunately. i'm going to distress myself by watching Blood Diamond in vivocity. alone. i guess, that's it then.

i've been reading

2007-01-20T14:34:00.000+08:00

it's been sometime and i've been reading. literally. it's been awhile since i've that page-turner urge in me. i feel like devouring books after books, yet at the same time i want to savour each book in its entirety. i've been reading very slowly. page by page, reading each line carefully for hidden meaning, for powerful sentences, for new words, for so many things i tend to miss when i read fantasy or thriller books.

obviously, the books i'm reading now are bordering tough reads. no longer am i so enticed by light reads (like i mentioned, fantasy and thriller). right now, i'm devouring this book by primo levi, titled the periodic table. the book started on an almost boring footing. i almost couldn't bear to continue reading. but it got better, honestly. after the boring and noble argon, there was the explosive hydrogen, the reactive zinc and the cold hard iron. yes, i'm at iron now. only the fourth chapter after a day. i've been trying my best to squeeze a page or two, or even a paragraph of two of readings when i'm bordering free, but i never am free.

so what's next after the periodic table? i planned to finish orwell's 1984, the book is interesting, but it's getting dark now. then after that i'm going to follow a friend suggestion to read jane austen. probably sense and sensibility, but nothing suggest that i shouldn't start somewhere alse, like northanger abbey for example, a gothic satire. bram stoker's dracula should somewhere down the line as well.

then there's this book by salman rushdie, the satanic verse. i couldn't find it in singapore, i heard it's been banned, hope not though. then probably i'll move to modern read, the inheritance of loss. or stays in old days with wuthering heights. ahh, so many books to read, yet no time to read them all. sigh.

anyway, i really wish i could read more books now. for now, my target is to finish the periodic table by the end of the coming week. i sure hope i can do that. (:

Building A Mystery
Sarah McLachlan

You come out at night
That's when the energy comes
And the dark side's light
And the vampires roam
You strut your rasta wear
And your suicide poem
And a cross from a faith that died
Before Jesus came
You're building a mystery

You live in a church
Where you sleep with voodoo dolls
And you won't give up the search
For the ghosts in the halls
You wear sandals in the snow
And a smile that won't wash away
Can you look out the window
Without your shadow getting in the way?

You're so beautiful
With an edge and charm
but so careful
When I'm in your arms

Cause you're working
Building a mystery
Holding on and holding it in
Yeah you're working
Building a mystery
And choosing so carefully

You woke up screaming aloud
A prayer from your secret god
You feed off our fears
And hold back your tears, oh
Give us a tantrum
And a know it all grin
Just when we need one
When the evening's thin

You're a beautiful
A beautiful fucked up man
You're setting up your
Razor wire shrine

Cause you're working
Building a mystery
Holding on and holding it in
Yeah you're working
Building a mystery
And choosing so carefully

Ooh you're working
Building a mystery
Holding on and holding it in
Yeah you're working
Building a mystery
And choosing so carefully

Yeah you're working
Building a mystery
Holding on and holding it in
Yeah you're working
Building a mystery
And choosing so carefully

You're building a mystery

anyway, i've found an artist that i really liked recently. a singer/songwriter by the name of sufjan stevens. going to update more another time.

frasier

2007-01-12T12:51:00.000+08:00

thanks to zhenyi, i've been watching frasier like nuts. i just finished season 1. it's so funny! this is the funniest part from the season finale. I love all these high, classy jokes. so unlike what we heard everyday in singapore.

niles: frasier, i can't get her out of my mind. when i look at daphne, she stirs a passion in me i've never known before.
frasier: niles, you're not considering leaving marris?
niles: certainly not.
frasier: well, then, i suppose the situation you are in is that you'd like to stay with marris, but you'd like to have an affair with daphne.
niles: yes, can i do that?
frasier: no, you can't.
niles: (pause) i thought that i couldn't, but you've got my hope up there for awhile.

from rusholme with love / all is white

2007-01-05T19:45:00.000+08:00

anyway, i've finally found From Rusholme With Love (Serendipity Mix) by Mint Royale, John Mayer and some other people. so darn cool! it's really one of the most perfect instrumental song. love it, love it, love it. it's this song from serendipity the movie, when Lars was playing his shenai. it's freakin' authentic, so different from all the other songs i've heard before. it has a tinge of indian music. it's got this very, very eastern feel to it. agh! i'm so in love with this song!

---
a new music. actually not really, it's a mix between traditional pop music and new music genre. all thanks to sonic arts and sciences, i can literally identify the techniques being used to create the song. so fun!

All Is White
Emilie Simon

All is white
I think it snowed
In the night
Everything is cold
So cold outside

I listen to the wind
All alone
I know it means
A storm will come

[Refrain]
I want to live
In paradise
I want to live in the south
I want to live
In paradise
At the south of the earth tonight

All is white
I know it snowed
In the night
Everything is cold
So cold outside

I try to calm
It's a lonely trip
Listen to my eyes
Listen to my lips

[Refrain]
I want to live
In paradise
I want to live in the south
I want to live
In paradise
At the south of the earth tonight

I want to live
In paradise
I want to live in the south
I want to live
In paradise
---

headache, chased by deadline. ):

how time flies

2007-01-03T02:53:00.000+08:00

it's 3rd already. i mean how much faster can the time flies man? it's so damn fast nowadays, i think i'm losing control over time. i don't really know. i've been thinking of something now for a few days already, and the thought is getting stronger. wow. (no worry, nothing bad, just something that have potential to change my life.)

anyway, i've been trying to improve my command of languages here and there now. i've been reading word of the day from dictionary.com and oxford. it's going to take sometime, but i'm going to be able to speak better sooner or later. i hope not too late.

a few days ago, i was talking with a friend about her wish to go for noc (nus overseas college), in silicon valley for that matter. you know, sometime you wish things were different. when i entered nus, the thought of going for noc was still strong and fresh in my mind. a year and a half later, it's stale and forgotten. i don't know, it's not like i'm losing direction. no, in fact, i feel happier at times, having no pressure at all in life. but then again, i'm wandering aimlessly now, of course there's no pressure, but is that a life i really want? really, the way you passionately told me that you wanted to go noc, and not because you want to be entrepreneur what-not, but just because you want to, really appeal to me. i felt the tinge of jealousy (if it could be called jealousy) that you have all the possibilities of going there to silicon valley, while all my chances are already gone, spent entirely on hall. i'm sorry, i think i'm starting to get sick of all these passion thing. hall is not my passion, not my real passion, never my real passion. i do have passion for hall, but not entirely real. seriously, hall is so four-year thing. how can a four-year thing be a real passion.

see, passion is something like... oh well, computer, for example, is my life-long passion. i've been attached to computer since i got my first computer. programming is another one. i feel like i can program and program for hours and hours. that's passion. reading is another one. since i was like in kindergarten, i exhausted enid blyton, and then moved on to r.l. stine, from goosebumps to fear street. even books like the bsc series and svh were partly exhausted by the time i was in primary 4. by primary 5, i had my first real novel, john grisham's rainmaker. i could read a novel in hours nowadays. and whenever i see a bookstore, i have this compelling feeling that i've to get in, even though i know i don't have money to spare for books. everytime i see a good book, i feel totally compelled to buy it. spontaneous shopping kind of thing. oh, how i wish books are cheap.

anyway, anyway, thanks man, i know i said things about 'a tinge of jealousy' and what-not, but really, talking to you made me realise quite a few things that had gone astray (no, not entirely gone wrong, they are still good, just not the best) in my life. okay, that's it i guess. i really wish i could live my life better the coming semester. so, make sure that i come to class okay? especially the ss class.

btw, come back soon, i want to watch shows! (:

eric is back. sean is coming back in two days max. everything will come back to normal pretty soon. and then the new semester will begin.

love, me.

happy new year

2007-01-01T04:13:00.000+08:00

happy new year 2007.

i guess.

i didn't even realise it's 1st of january 2007 until kristy suddenly appeared outside my room door wishing a happy new year. wow. what a life in hall. nobody's around. i feel so peaceful and alone. no, i don't feel alone at all. i feel like i would be if there's nothing in my mind at all. this is probably the best times in my holiday this year. other than christmas of course.

for example, i've got a new friend. again, i guess. it's a rare thing. i mean, you meet new people often. sometime almost everyday. but you don't meet people whom you feel you can connect with at okay level or above that often. i don't know, it's a good way to start the year i guess, having a new friend in your life. and i've to think of a name for this person. i mean, all my good friends have went through that stage of having a 'pet' name in this blog, lol. oh god, they're going to kill me if they read this. well, her name already sound like a pet name, as in a real pet. i'll think of something better though, no worry.

i don't know, i love staying alone. yeah, i messaged a friend just now. and she was alone watching tv. i mean, isn't it great? don't you feel better alone? freer? as if no worries could break your barrier. it's excellent feeling.

at the same time, i also watched serendipity. this is the second time i watched it in the past 6 days. yes. that's right man. the past six days. watched it during christmas, and watched it again today. i realised that serendipity probably has the best combination of soundtrack among many movies that i watched. it's really serene and pretty. well, well. i think i'm going to get the cd soon. yes.

the only minus this holiday is that i have a review due on tuesday night. i guess, being a bit late is okay this time around. i don't think i can complete an excellent review anytime soon. but i sure will finish by wednesday morning. then i'll continue with my competition submission. yes, reviewing and competing in the same week is a big feat, if i managed of course. it's crazy. both requires quite a bit of learnings. the review one is especially tedious, albeit small. it has a lot of holes where coders could just fall into. i mean it's so damn complicated man. even as a reviewer, i still see no definite light on how i could really test the full functionality of the component. the implementation is so diverse i couldn't possible find one that fits nicely. oh well. i need to research my old component then. sigh. of course. old components help, especially if you know exactly what you want. and i do. so yeah. and this review will get me USD311 in late february, early march. oh well, i just need to survive that long with the little money that i have now. lol. no worries.

life is great. and here's a song for you readers. beautiful song from serendipity by shawn colvin, titled when you know. it's so calming, like a wide and deep open ocean, where even a tsunami couldn't disturb. where earthquake and volcanoes show no trace on the surface. it's so peaceful. anyway, i found the full song on youtube, guess on what video? on house md! yes, some girl made a video compilation of house and cameron, using when you know as the background song. wish i have the time to do this kind of things.

okay, i guess that's it for tonight. it's been a happy night. i wish you'd come back sooner and bring dvds so i could start watching new shows. lol! yeah, i live on dvds nowadays. will die without one, at least until the 8th.

When You Know
Shawn Colvin

When you know that you know who you love, you can't deny it.
Or go back, or give up, or pretend that you don't buy it.
When it's clear this time you've found the one, you'll never let him go
Cos you know and you know that you know.

When you feel in your skin in your bones and the hollow
Of your heart, there's no way you can wait till tomorrow.
When there isn't any doubt about it once you come this close
Cos you know and you know that you know.

You can feel love's around you like the sky 'round blue
This is how love has found you, now you know what to do.

When you know that you know who you need, you can't deny it.
Or go back, or give up, or pretend that you don't buy it.
When it's clear this time you've found the one, you'll never let him go
Cos you know and you know that you know.

And it's time you come in from the cold.
Haaa...
And you know that you know.

just like heaven

2006-12-30T01:37:00.000+08:00

this is my third attempt at writing, let's see what came out.

okay, first thing first, before i let it go off my mind, eric's nick's so funny: 'my phone got attacked by virus!' must be malaysian line huh? so how? missing singapore line already?

anyway, zhenyi just came over to borrow some shows. hmm, even on this i couldn't write anything. i mean we talked about lots of things, surely i could write something about it. but no. couldn't! such a mental block over blogging. sigh.

let me try harder.

zhenyi came over to borrow some shows after her chingay practice. we watched some snippets of some shows. like for example, the disgusting dance in date movie (and the even more disgusting liposuction). or that we both like gilmore girls. why no guys like gg? it's such a nice show. watched snippets from house md also. she wanted to go to medicine. lol. (whoops, so evil.) anyway, had a great time talking. (this is a politically correct sentence of course. what else could i say? lol.)

after that, eric and i had an msn conversation, which due to my blogging block will be copy and pasted below.

me: guess who was in my room just now? lol
eric: err.. err... any mcq for me
me: hahahhaa cannot lar.. mcq then too easy..
eric: hard to tell leh
me: ur charge
eric: ?
me: the same person asked me whether i wanna join cheer comm! bloody hell, starting to sound like u man.. and not from my block
eric: zhen yi
me: chooo chmartt..
eric: realli her?
me: like who else lar.. give clue until so obvious
eric: am i rite, hehehe WAHAHHAHAHHAA
me: wtf!
eric: ur answer to her
me: u r becoming a bad influence, lol
eric: since eric is the jcrc---- NO"
me: no lar of course
eric: rite
me: no.. hhaha, i just say no d:
me: tho.. that'd have been a better answer now tt i think abt it again..
eric: ..... thnk about it lar
me: no man.. i'm just gg to screw myself all over again..
me: now i can tease zhenyi everytime i saw her.. if i'm in cheer comm, wouldn't be able to do that..
eric: ....
me: yeah man.. how? of course no lar..
me: dun worry lar.. seems like u've a good team..
me: tho their meeting today.. only like 3 ppl were there
eric: !!!!!!!!
me: yes?
eric: holy shit
me: e vice wasnt even there lar.. wat kind of comm man.. d:
eric: ................
eric: ok ok.. i know how bad it is..
eric: shit... kk... i need to come back to nus FAST

disclaimer: all of the above is for the sake of friendly² conversation. pepper and salt are sprinkled liberally over the conversation, and it's not meant to hurt anyone. so anything i said was purely to tease him one way or another (and also to tell him the truth).

oh well, this effort is a lot more successful than the previous one. so here, the song to end it, from the show just like heaven, which is a damn good romantic comedy shows (less comedy actually, but funny enough to laugh at parts of the show), which i just rewatched two days ago, which zhenyi just borrowed from me.

Just Like Heaven
Katie Melua

Show me how you do that trick
The one that makes me scream he said
The one that makes me laugh he said
And threw his arms around my neck
Show me how you do it
And I promise you I promise that
I'll run away with you
I'll run away with you

Spinning on that dizzy edge
I kissed his face and kissed his head
And dreamed of all the different ways I had
To make him glow
Why are you so far away? he said
Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you
That I'm in love with you

You, soft and only
You,lost and lonely
You, strange as angels
Dancing in the deepest oceans
Twisting in the water
You're just like a dream
You're just like a dream

Daylight licked me into shape
I must have been asleep for days
And moving lips to breathe his name
I opened up my eyes
And found myself alone alone
Alone above a raging sea
That stole the only boy I loved
And drowned him deep inside of me

You, soft and only
You, lost and lonely
You, just like heaven

You, soft and only
You, lost and lonely
You, just like heaven

semi charmed

2006-12-27T17:45:00.000+08:00

wohoooo! been watching over five shows in the past 24 hours, i'm going crazy. wow, can't believe i could still watched some of them again. i mean, how many time have i watched serendipity? five? or shows like about a boy or hitchhiker's guide, or you've got mail. of course, there was also some first-timer. mr and mrs smith for one.

what's with romantic comedy? seems like i've been addicted to the genre for the last 24 hours.

oh well. i've been eating instant noodles since yesterday and nothing else other than two bars of chocolates. my way to celebrate christmas i guess. doing nothing, at all! love it very much.

on christmas, the only place i went to was chinatown. that's only to eat dinner with sean, eric and wing. sean left for penang yesterday morning, and eric for kl yesterday night. wing is stucked with his hockey training as usual i guess. while me? i'm stucked in my room, doing nothing.

oh and just like heaven is great! although my version is of lousy quality. (:

ah, and there's this place where you can buy mp3 online, allofmp3.com. it's a great place and it's second highest visits music stores by UK residents. just that, i heard visa/master banned them due to some legality used. but well, by registering alone, you got a bonus US$0.20, enough to buy 1 song, which i did! and the quality, oh boy. it's really good. not kidding. i bought a quite obscure song by katie melua, titled just like heaven (obviously from just like heaven ost), and the quality is really there. try it really, before it got closed down.

gosh, and i finished my review. some submitter is really fierce, even though they are wrong. oh well, that's my job man! full of rubbish.

Semi-charmed Life
Third Eye Blind

I'm packed and I'm holding
I'm smiling, she's living, she's golden
And she lives for me
She says she lives for me
Ovation
Her own motivation
She comes round and she goes down on me
And I make her smile
Like a drug for you
Do ever what you want to do
Coming over you
Keep on smiling,
What we go through
One stop to the rhythm that divides you
And I speak to you like the chorus to the verse
Chop another line like a coda with a curse
And I come on like a freak show takes the stage
We give them the games we play,

She said
I want something else

To get me through this
Semi-charmed kind of life (Baby, baby)
I want something else
I'm not listening when you say
Good-bye

The sky it was gold, it was rose
I was taking sips of it through my nose
And I wish I could get back there
Some place back there
Smiling in the pictures you would take
Doing crystal meth
Will lift you up until you break
It won't stop
I won't come down,
I keep stock
With a tick-tock rhythm
A bump for the drop
And then I bumped up
I took the hit that I was given
Then I bumped again
And then I bumped again
I said..
How do I get back there to
The place where I fell asleep inside you?
How do I get myself back to
The place where you said

I want something else
To get me through this
Semi-charmed kind of life (Baby, baby)
I want something else
I'm not listening when you say
Good-bye

I believe in the sand beneath my toes
The beach gives a feeling
An earthy feeling
I believe in the faith that grows
And the four right chords can make me cry
When I'm with you I feel like I could die
And that would be all right
All right

When the plane came in
She said she was crashing
The velvet it rips
In the city
We tripped
On the urge to feel alive
But now I'm struggling to survive
Those days you were wearing that velvet dress
You're the priestess, I must confess
Those little red panties
They pass the test
Slide up around the belly
Face down on the mattress
One
And you hold me
And we're broken
Still its all that I want to do, just a little now

Feel myself
Heavy on the ground
I'm scared
But I'm not coming down, no no
And I won't run for my life
She's got her jaws now locked now in smile
But nothing is all right
All right

I want something else
To get me through this...
Life.......baby
I want something else
I'm not listening when you say
Good-bye

merry christmas!

2006-12-25T03:52:00.000+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

another year will be gone soon. and can't believe that cors bidding starts a day after christmas. nus loves to torture us.

anyway, i almost finished my review work. gonna finish it today, on christmas day! yes! tell me about it, i've no life!

(:

04:16

2006-12-22T04:16:00.000+08:00

i just finished bathing. didn't really know why it took me so long to actually went to bathe after finishing my game just now. oh well, i guess i'll post a short entry since i need to wait for my hair to dry a bit before i could actually slept.

cheer camp was crazy period. too stressful too. too bad i'm in for it. i wonder why i hadn't signed out of it yet. not that i have any other better things to do. but certainly, the prospect of spending my holiday leisurely on house md and other shows (like big fish) is lucrative. i'm getting amazingly reticent during training. it's a sign of disillusionment i guess. nvm, i'm in for another two or three months and that's it. i could relax for quite some time. enjoying life, and by this, i mean working my ass off to get a macbook pro by the mid of the three-month summer break. that would mean i have to save up $5000 from my work. sigh. i'll try anyway.

i have a theory, about blogging frequency. remember i wrote about blogging during exam before? when i tried to explain why people blog more during exam than after that (when we're supposed to be more free)? i have a continuation. during those period when you've lots of great things to do, you don't blog much. when you do new things that still interest you, you could spend hours on it. forget blogging! sometime you don't even sleep or eat! however, when things start to get boring, and yet you're still forced to do it, you got depressed. and suddenly you burst into blogging. i've seen this on myself and at least two other friends of mine (one very recent, one not so recent). i must say that it's consistent with blog addicts.

anyway, why are you people so stressed? no. wrong question. why are we people so stressed? i don't know really. but hang in there folks. we'll break through it. yep. pretty sure on that. c'mon, we've lived our 19-20 years in this world and survived, these are nothing. at the most, what can happen? quit hall? i guess? though pretty sure it won't go that far.

all the best production people. you guys must be working pretty hard now. and chingay. seriously, all the best for these two groups man. good luck my two apprentices! hope you guys learn how to use the force (by that i mean visual studio and sql server, lol) soon. don't be seduce by the dark side of the force (security ignorance, coding inaccuracies, and messy codes syndrome), they might be tempting, but they'll slowly rot you to death (like microsoft windows, for example, it must be killing the redmond guys for years now).

btw, vista is out in soc internal mysoc. wow. if only i've got a powerful computer to help myself to it. but no. my computer is too slow. forget it. nvm. a mac will be much better than my desktop anyway. (although a 17" macbook pro would practically be a desktop.)

oh, and my exam results is not as bad as i thought. relieved. gosh. i actually didn't get an F for my OS. it's a miracle really.

and i lucked in for my review assignment. 5 submissions to review for $473. not bad. though i won't be getting my pay till february, i guess i'll be getting quite a bit then, hopefully enough to cover my semester 2 fees and stuffs, plus my three-month break hall stay and plane tickets. hopefully with quite a bit left for my macbook pro. (ugh that would means i've to earn at least 2.5k, nuts!) how can 6 weeks of work earn me that much i ask you? especially part-time? gosh. high hopes, lower expectation and even lower results i guess. finger-crossed though.

okay, think i should sleep. there're lots of things for me to do tomorrow. my review started tomorrow night and i'd need to register for my next review assignment. pray i got it. that would be another $250. sigh. it's all about money this holiday. couldn't afford not to earn. otherwise i'd be eating dust during the summer break.

signing off.

p.s. if you read this kel, don't be so stressed up over things. life is never fair, but don't give up.

post-exam no-blog syndrome

2006-12-11T15:44:00.000+08:00

long long long no post blog. post-exam no-blog syndrome. it's always like that. you think that during exam time you'd have no time since you'd have to study. but no. you always could squeeze that extra hour blogging with all sort of excuse; stress-reliever, relieve boredom, exam updates, etc. but then after exam, you'd get very busy. and these are the stuffs where you couldn't squeeze that hour off since you like to do these things. so you don't go around making excuses to blog.

well anyway, during my few days not writing anything, i found a really cute song. no you must really listen to the song before you find it cute. it's freakin' freakin' nuts. the background music is so childish. even the name of the band is cute man. and guess what, the band started off in 1980. all the original members other than the lead singer has been replaced since then. holy holy camoli! i can't stand the song, make me want to laugh. must be the tune. anyway, here goes.

Roll To Me
Del Amitri

Look around your world pretty baby
Is it everything you hoped it'd be
The wrong guy, the wrong situation
The right time to roll to me
Roll to me

Look into your heart pretty baby,
Is it aching with some nameless need.
Is there something wrong and you can't put your finger on it
Right then, roll to me

(Chorus--i think)
And I don't think I have ever seen a soul so in despair
So if you want to talk the night through
Guess who will be there?

So don't try to deny it pretty baby,
You've been down so long you can hardly see
When the engine's stalled and it won't stop raining
It's the right time to roll to me
Roll to me, Roll to me

(Chorus)

So look around your world pretty baby
Is it everything you hoped it'd be
The wrong guy, the wrong situation
The right time to roll to me
The right time to roll to me
The right time to roll to me
OOOOOHHHHH

yeah, i can't really say that the chorus is the chorus. it sounds more like a bridge or what. but can't be bridge as well. so i guess it's the chorus. oh well.
---

anyway, ihg training has officially started. i just want to kick myself in the nuts. it's freakin' tough. (oh the kick myself in the nuts, well, guess what, sooner or later, it's bound to happen, accidentally.) so friday night we had cheerleading training. very carefree, very fun. no not that fun. saturday morning session was the fun one. we've started doing crazy things like toss to two-hand and liberty (aiming that we wouldn't need backspot by the time nationals is here)--oh, well, these are still the basic crazy things; there are also several other things that we practised that i thought best if i kept it to myself. i'm not going to be the one leaking our routine out in the internet for everyone to read and spread. and my toe-touches are really getting a lot better--this is the part where you feel as if you just got kicked in the nuts; i mean the impact and all when you land.

and this morning was touch training. no not touch girls, that's cheerleading (although if you thought of joining cheerleading for this reason, prepared to be hugely disappointed, dismayed, and just cry to yourself at night). this one is touch rugby. oh my, my stamina is really crap man. couldn't even stand this morning training. really, really crazy. after the training, i just felt like collapsing there and then. and yet still had to walk back to hall, and out to lunch and then went with eric to yih. he just bought an ipod nano just now. the blue colour is pretty cool although it'd have preferred the 8GB black colour compared to his 4GB blue nano. and the price difference is only about sixty bucks. oh well. it's his choice. as for me, i'm going to save like hell for macbook pro by end of three-month break. so yeah, 1 semester and 3 months to catch up with jobs and all.

anyway, everyone in hall is gone already. and peklyn bluffed me. what you said you're going to be back on sunday? i needed entertainment and you could have provided me with one.

erm.

i mean house. what are you thinking? i want to watch the rest of the house series. damn gory, but i kinda like it. so yeah. i think you're back now right? but i'm going to sleep first. really, really, really couldn't stand the ache. i just want to sleep now.

oh and watched gilmore girls 7.10 and bleach 106 yesterday night on youtube. it seems that bleach is going to enter its second filler spree. all right. time to put off bleach then. i'll be contented with the manga with all the espada on the loose. and nell! nell is so freakin' cute!! gosh!

okay that's it sleep.

yesterday's new chinese phrases: 如果，果子，喝茶，口渴，人口，万事如意。
game of the holiday: diablo 2 (yes, next time i'll write more on this)

So look around your world pretty baby
Is it everything you hoped it'd be
The wrong guy, the wrong situation

three hauntings

2006-12-06T07:35:00.000+08:00

guess what? i haven't slept yet. had a few good games of dota until 2am. ending with a superb game. finally felt like i have mastered obsidian destroyer. maybe the early morning made me more cocky than usual. nevertheless, a good game is a good game.

i like what peklyn quoted me yesterday: "there is a thin line between dota and girlfriend."

interesting huh?

anyway, why i suddenly felt like posting this entry is because the end of semester is nearing. sigh. it's very sad this time around. especially the past, erm, 28 hours. peklyn called my at 2am in the morning, on tuesday, telling me that her computer was spoilt after she moved it to mun's room. on tuesday afternoon, she left singapore for her home until sunday. yeah. just until sunday. that's very short. but still. she visited my room (at last) half an hour before leaving, accompanied her down to her taxi with her cousin.

that's one.

then, during dinner, i sat on the same table as weiling. that's when i realised that yeah, i won't be seeing her hides next semester. she'll be on one-semester exchange to uc berkeley. and it's so very uncertain that she'll be back in hall the semester after that (it's quite difficult to gain a place in hall). so i visited her for awhile after dinner, had a chat. and oh well. she'll leave this weekend. and that's it. i don't even know (honestly) whether i'll remember her existence a semester after this (especially if she didn't come back to hall). scary thought, isn't it?

that's two.

as i was on a blk 6th floor, had a short chat with shiokie. he told me he wanted to play dota, play as much dota as he could. he told me that he's gonna start working on the 10th. gosh. i had a shock. i know he's graduating. but the thought that he'll be leaving us and the dota scene hasn't sinked in yet. until he told me about the job he got next week. he'll be leaving this weekend. so that's it huh? like last semester with prabs leaving.

that's three.

the three haunting ghosts of the past 28 hours. i wish this semester could repeat itself. i wanna fix stuffs that i didn't do as well as i'd want it to be. i wanna get closer to people i felt i should have gotten closer; people i should have attempted harder to get closer with. oh well. meyling is leaving tomorrow. she won't be back until end of holiday. oh well.

life goes on. and that's the scary thing, isn't it? people come and go. some become forgotten relics of the past; disappearing beneath the dust of time. this is the time of the year again.

while writing some chinese . . .

2006-12-04T22:45:00.000+08:00

. . . somehow i kept writing these sentences in the past two three minutes.

我爱你。
我真爱你。
我爱她。

then, i asked myself:
真的吗？你爱谁？

seriously, something must have gone wrong with my brain today, lol! even if that were anything close to any truth, 'love' is a really really strong language and i could go into a philosophical depth about it. don't get me started.

hahaha, and i learned to write my own country just now. come come:

我姓倪，我的名字时健明了。我的国家是印尼。我真喜欢买英文书跟manga。我愿意学日文。我在新加坡，在NUS学computer science.

lol. my chinese is still disgustingly simple now, sounds like 7 years ago when i started learning english full fledge in singapore.

yet another day II

2006-12-04T02:31:00.000+08:00

[note] this entry is very boring. feel free to skip it (and all the 'yet another day' posts in the future).

as opposed to the first yet another day, today's great! lol!

woke up late, made me happy. didn't eat breakfast though, so i was quite a bit hungry by the time i woke sean up (and he, in turn woke wingken). left for vivocity quite late in the day, i think it was 1pm. blah! we ate at banquet in harbourfront. the indian stall is really not bad. briyani mutton was great. and the chicken martabak tasted all right too. it's been very long since i ate indian muslim food. the curry and all, heh!

we went round at harbourfront. yes, harbourfront! kinda wondered myself, i thought we're supposed to wonder around vivocity? oh well, spent 2 hours at harbourfront, got myself a new bedsheet plus a matress protector.

when we finally got to vivocity, sean complained that it's very, very crowded. and he's right of course, it's worst than the opening ceremony days before (friday, i was there also). we visited the bookshop again. crazy! i still found lots of interesting books that i didn't discover days earlier. can cry! lucky i no money! otherwise i'd have bankrupted myself anyway. yeah. my next target is this book by a japanese called haruki murakami. seems that her (hopefully i'm right about her gender) books are interesting. and there were lots of her books there at pageone. plus the amazon review gave the books an average of 4.5 stars (all of the books are also top sellers by japanese writers in amazon). crap man! i'm going to be damn poor for the next one year if i kept buying books after books. oh well.

anyway, finally went up to the third floor. quite a wonderful place with the 'swimming pool' (note the quote). and got the $2 shop. got myself a tin piggy bank. lol! can you imagine me? with piggy bank? the thought made me laugh at myself. but i guess it's good to save. i'm planning to keep it aside for at least a year before opening it. heh. hopefully i still remembered its existence then.

well all right, there was a manga store as well. i wish i could really read chinese well enough. no worry, i'll make sure i learn chinese fast enough. i wanna read the chinese manga! so cheap, so abundant! love, love! that's why, chinese 2, here i come!

anyway, gotta say that i really love chinese now. it's really fun, especially to write the characters. really love all the curves i could do with the characters. and my handwriting is considered quite nice by my friends, heh heh! which is quite a compliment since my english handwriting isn't that great in the first place. and i can write my chinese name now! hahaha! i know, i know! you all will laugh at me now. but it's not easy to write in chinese, although i got my chinese name a long time ago, i still didn't learn to write it down nicely. so here, i'll write for you guys.

倪健明

yep, there you go, my chinese name. ah, and i'm borrowing meyling's chinese 2 books. can't wait to learn already! 200 more characters, can you imagine!? i'll know like 500 characters by the end of the academic year. wow! and 700 characters by the end of the coming year. but of course my own target is to learn 1000 characters by the end of 2007. yep, that'll be my minor new year's resolution (note: minor). so far all the characters we learned are easy ones. though there are some that requires twelve or thirteen strokes to complete.

went back at 645pm. and my hp showed 550pm. an hour ago the battery died somehow, and i was guessing the time without the two guys around, apparently my estimate fits jakarta's time much better than singapore time. an hour too early!

amazingly, dinner was great. with the super nice fish.

and then, of course, sleeping! took a nap. and then played dota. my obsidian destroyer just got better and better. lost 1, won 1. those were my 3rd and 4th time playing obsidian destroyer. timing last hit is incredibly easy with destroyer.

ok. fin.

hero of the hour: harbinger, the obsidian destroyer
today's book (and tomorrow's too i guess): shadow of the wind by carlos ruiz zafon)
dish of the day: briyani mutton and murtabak
the favourite: chinese (can't believe i used to think that chinese is difficult and simply boring--it's difficult, but boring? or useless? nah, definitely not!)

p.s. so you see why it is a 'yet another day' post? hahaha! boring right? but thanks for reading up till here. you've been a great reader ;).

the after exam

2006-12-02T21:25:00.000+08:00

the after exam.

wow! i've a really great weekends man! immediately after exam ended on thursday! i had so many things to do. oh gosh, i don't even know where to start.

where?

thursday night, after exam, had a good dinner with the pooh bear coiners. yeah, i'm officially pooh bear for a month plus already, thanks to those damn ladies: kenning and fenni. oh well, i know i'm dumb, so yeah, i guess pooh bear suits me. plus i'm lazy! plus horizontally-challenged (thanks to ap for reminding me of that word). heh heh! i'm in the mood of self-bashing btw.

oh well, i did something on thursday night, but couldn't remember what. oh yes, i watched my downloaded curious george. super funny, a little touching, very childish! but liked it anyway, so yeah, nice! then watched gilmore through youtube. nowadays i'm really lazy to download anymore. took a few days just to download gilmore. oh well, gilmore was good. so logan's moving back; that's interesting. lastly i watched bleach, better still, i watched bleach raw! gosh, aren't you impressed? of course it'll be a lot more impressive if i actually understood what they were talking about. oh well, japanese couldn't be as hard as chinese, could it?

come friday, i slacked. did programming almost whole day long. it's been so long since i touched my eclipse and poseidon. felt really good man. lunch with sean, eric, kenny. saw a few people in biz canteen, jiayi, meyling gang. saw xiu as well. and for third or fourth day in a row, saw kat. well, actually eric's the one who saw kat. i'm not that close with her. anyway, so chinese 2 is tough eh? found out that meyling only got a B+ for chinese 1. i'm doomed! she's like how good? i'm like how pathetic? she like studied how hard? i like slacked how hard? i'm grateful if i got a B- now. although still hoping for miracle of a B.

anyway, dinner at kr, saw meyling again. what a coincidence. we haven't been talking for quite sometime. seems like i've been keeping a freaking low profile outside my block. i haven't even disturbed some people that i always disturbed last time for quite some time now. ugh, and when i told her i was going to vivocity, she wanted free chocolate. -_-" (oh, and she got it... even more sweat! but that's for later.)

so i really went to vivocity, enjoying the crowds. gosh, it's been awhile since i went out of nus to such a classy crowds (not the sheng shiong or ginza crowds for example). people from all age and all groups were there. it was, after all, the opening ceremony of vivocity. although people have been telling me not to go there (and wenhao and jieling asked me to go ginza instead and buy bubble tea with them, or more like, for them) because they said the place gonna be so crowded, their prediction was awfully wrong! it was like any normal days. very nice place to be around.

went to explore the place, and guessed what? i saw san bookshop! so you know what i did next, i went in and browse! books! books! books! you know how i love to read books! hehe! i almost bought the belgariad book 1 to book 3. almost cost me $45. but then i realised that the belgariad consisted of five books! what!!? no way! there's no way i'd have spent $75 at one go on books. no no, big NO! so forget it, and i left. lol.

that's the best thing that happened to me, because as soon as i followed my gut and left, i saw pageone. i didn't know what pageone is, but it looked like, looked like, either a lifestyle store or a bookshop! and guess what, it's the latter! omg! omg! a bookstore! another bookstore, so close to nus! and the best thing is that it's huge, i mean really huge! gosh, it's probably as big as borders already! and then the books, the books are really quality ones man! there were so many books i wanted to buy there. and i found shadow of the wind, the book that i've been looking for for a month plus. naturally i was inclined to buy it. then there were also another four books, damnit! they are all so lovely! loved walked in, the fucked up, and lucky dog. gosh gosh gosh. at the end i picked the lucky dog. it's the last book i saw, saw it by accident too. but sounds good. so yeah. there goes. (: now my days will be spent with these books! yay!

i know all the weird choices, but i was in the mood of reading a book on day-to-day life. not fantasy (my old flame) or some freakin' repetitive thriller. maybe because of my good experience with the thirteenth tale. i just wanted to read something light yet not too light. also something realistic. something that can make you sit around hugging yourself under your blanket (gosh, wth! what kind of imagery).

oh well, anyway, i went to shop after getting those two books (and after almost two hours in the bookshop. btw, there was fireworks too, was watching it from inside the bookstore--another plus point for this bookstore! lol, the glass panel facing the harbour water. plus the arrangement of the shelves, totally so much better than kino or borders; much more artistic). anyhow, anyhow, went to shop. wingken's birthday, so decided to get him a small cake from bakerzin and chocs. while i was getting his chocs in giant, i thought, may as well get another one since somebody wanted free chocs so badly (and somebody hasn't finished exam! lol! see lar, blame your chinese 2). well so, i bought 2 bars of lindt' cognag chocs (my personal favourite last time). the chocs is milk choc (unfortunate, since i'd really have preferred dark), but the inside is totally lovely. a little bit of cognag. superb! and bought 2 litres of brownes milk, hopefully my floor fridge is not going to freeze it again (like it did my with my previous one).

ended my vivocity trip by getting charlotte from bakerzin. charlotte is my other personal favourite. here's the description from the website:

Layers of almond sponge with Kirsch syrup and strawberry & raspberry pureed mousse are surrounded by lady finger sponges and topped with strawberries.

heh heh! that's for you wingken, so yeah, enjoy it man!

so went back, gave meyling her chocs, which she shyly accepted. shy for what! you asked for it! blah! anyhow, it's really been awhile since i visited her room, but didn't change much apparently. she was interested in the books i bought, didn't know she's the kind to read. oh well, she showed me a few of her books. the one that interests me is wuthering height. maybe i'll borrow from her soon. hmm.

then, i went to a blk. after skipping their celebration (yeah, i'm a c blker, it'll be weird if i were there), i gave him the cake and chocs. so funny, because before that he went to sean's room and asked me about that cake box on the table. so i had to lie to him that i bought it for myself. and he even opened it and saw the cake already. the stupid thing is that beside it was a piece of candle (not inside the box, outside)! how stupid can i be? shit, shit! stupid chris!

so, happy birthday wingken! now belated of course, this took place yesterday, on friday night.

ah, well, i should end up my narrative soon. we played dota against AI yesterday. then i played jurassic park (a warcraft map) with wing. damn crazy that game! i wanted to just die. must protect myself for 30 minutes against dinosaurs? crazy! and since when a survivor learned how to built power plant and everything else. got sentry gun and everything, it's just crazy! i will play with cheat today! hmm.

today played dota 5v5 for the first time. a little pissed because the opposing team was very angry when i backdoored. hello, backdooring is allowed unless you teleport to opponents' base. oh well, shall not talk about it. my bone reached dr aegis anyway.

that's it! today ate lunch at biz, fish and chips, no wrong, fusilli. also ate the brownies.

dinner was super fun too! ate at ginza. kept pestering eric to reveal his current object of affection. i'll find her eric, you can bet on it.

okay that's it! so review:

person of the post: meyling, wingken
song of the moment: there she goes the la's
place of the week: vivocity (yep, going there again tomorrow, from lunch to dinner, with sean and wing)
favourite bookstore: pageone
quote of the day: "every book begins with pageone"

van der füll

2006-11-29T23:15:00.000+08:00

i'm in such a good mood today, even the looming darkness and suffering from the up and coming one-more-day-left chinese paper could not dull my soul.

yiiiihhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

lol!

oh well, started the day nicely with a good breakfast. well, not exactly good. it's fried rice, with burned taste. oh well, better than nothing. and then went back to sleep! wohooooo! slept all the way to 1230pm. gosh! what a way to start the day. then had a good lunch at biz canteen. sumptuous chicken chop with kasewurst (cheese sausage). plus mango sago as dessert (it's a wonder that mango pretty much goes with anything, including sago). went back for an AI dota (yeah, i was a little bored). had a great time otherwise, reading bleach forums and finding out about the new bleach chapter. the day will be made perfect if i could lay my hand on the raw tonight. but looks like the chance is slimming down.

dinner was not bad. it was considerably better than usual. haha! had a little help from edwin for my chinese. thanks lots! reinforce my thought that it's just simply all about memorizing. no bloody thing to learn other than memorizing. tomorrow just need to 背书! hahaha! oh well, 加油!

somehow saw kelly downstairs while on the way to study my chinese. then saw grace too. then saw wingken, just in time. i was just about to go to a blk, to his floor to study. superb right?

then studied more than 50 characters in a span of an hour. not a bad achievement at all! hehehe! meanwhile, read some blog posts, made me happier still! thanks to both writers (to quote one: you know who you are).

meanwhile, yet at another blog (kelly's), somebody is reading man and boy. oh boy! when did i read that book? sec 4 was it? one of the first english books that i could enjoy, since by then my english was much better than its powderful state in sec 3. quite a lovely story, though a little saddening. i think i still couldn't grasp the whole story concept yet. i remembered cruising through parts of the book, having little recollections of what i just read. must be my english. shall try to get my hand on the book (added to my amazon wish list! if you wanna get me anything, please, please check out my amazon wish list, it's updated whenever i want a new book and whenever i bought a new book, just search my name in amazon.com, i described myself quite well so you could easily spot my wish list among the many chris henry in the list).

oh, and she said she wished an author would describe her like those characters in a book. hmm. interesting note there. after exam, i'll attempt to be a writer and write some nice description.

meanwhile, i just ate some belgian chocolate (those seashell-like chocs). not bad. a little soft though. and i still prefer dark chocs to milk chocs. ah, i know how to treat myself tomorrow! shall go to vivocity and shop for chocolate! i know, i'm crazy, but who cares! exam will be over then. i'm sure i'm entitled to some luscious piece of chocolate. i'm also entitled to be broke tomorrow!

people of the day: sean, grace, peklyn, edwin
song of the day: colt 45 by afroman (oh gosh, this song makes me laugh and laugh and laugh. full with expletives and sex stories, but the way it's being told really made me laugh and laugh and laugh.)
food of the day: biz's mango de sago
verse of the day: 2 cor 12:9 "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." thanks to cherlyn for sharing. glad that it could help other people greatly (and me).

p.s. you'd have noticed that there's lots of formatting going on in my post. i'm trying to experiment with the avant garde arts of using bold and italic to create a better looking piece. oh, that reminds me, i damn hate seeing writing lIKe ThIs, and recently like so many university students around me are using that kind of writing in msn nicks, etc. wah, so primary-school-ish. sorry, it's just me, i just thought it's very childish and act cute. blearggh!

yet another day

2006-11-28T18:46:00.000+08:00

so, i'm two days ahead of my final, final, final exam. how does that feel? don't know. boring. i'm damn bored today!

imagine waking up at 745am, eating breakfast and went back to sleep at 845am, all the way to 1230pm. then play around with my computer, as usual. doing some crossword puzzle from my personalized google homepage. and then watching dota replay of fear playing bone clinkz. wow, he's completely unmatched, all the animation-canceling for his searing arrows. it's pretty damn cool. getting dr aegis at level 19 (with midas). oh well, that was two hours off my time.

oh, and i need to thank a certain somebody, make it two-body, for making me waste the whole of yesterday.

first, peklyn, for introducing sudoku. crazy la! i played for like seven or eight hours! that's like longer than the amount of time i spent on studying (which was zero). but it was fun nevertheless.

then at night, franklin gave me another website for a game called achaea. that's another two hours spent on reading about the world of achaea. it's a MUD (basically a text-based game). not bad really. i think i'm going to play it after i finished my exam. the world description is freakin' vivid and nice. just like a fantasy stories.
---

anyway, i'll start working on my programming project soon. sigh. i hope they accept my application to be part of the review board. hmm.
---

taking about fantasy, just found my song of the day: I'll Try by Jonatha Brooke, from that disney movie, return to the never land (or something like that).

I'll Try
Jonatha Brooke

I am not a child now.
I can take care of myself.
I mustn't let them down now-
Mustn't let them see me cry.
I'm fine.
I'm fine.
I'm to tired to listen.
I'm too old to believe:
All these childish stories.
There is no such thing as faith,
And trust,
And pixie dust.

I try,
But its to hard to believe.
I try,
But I can't see what you see.
I try.
I try.
I try.

My whole world is changing,
I don't know where to turn.
I can't leave you baby,
But I cant stay and watch the sitting burn;
Watch it burn.

'Cause I try,
But its so hard to believe!
I try,
But I can't see where you see.
I try.
I try.

I try and try,
To understand,
The distance in between:
The love I feel,
The things i fear,
I dearly say good dream.
I can finally see it.
Now I have to believe:
All those precious stories.
All the world is made of faith,
And trust,
And pixie dust.

So I'll try,
'Cause I finally believe!
I'll try,
'Cause I see where you see!
I'll try.
I'll try!
I'll try!
I'll try-
To fly.

global warming

2006-11-26T17:57:00.000+08:00

some entities simply like to twist scientific facts and that really piss me off. furthermore, some entities (possibly the same one) also like to use partial information to delude themselves. that's okay, but to actually publish or deliver a talk that use that partial (read: incomplete) information to delude even more people, that's extremely unacceptable. and especially so when the consequence is that people start to ignore the impending disaster called the global warming.

there is another kind of people that i dislike. people with God complex that basically think that the end of the world is coming really soon (usually christians). therefore, who cares about the environment since we're going to go to heaven really soon. firstly, the Bible do not tell us when exactly the end of the world is going to come. it could be years from now or could be centuries from now (and i wouldn't be able to say that it won't happen in say, the next second). it is uncertain that what you do now would not affect the next generation of people, including me (say the end of the world comes a millenium from now, maybe everyone would have died then by your actions). secondly, even the Bible tells you to take care of the Earth (that's the first few things that God told Adam to do).

oh well. what's with the sudden rant. this article! i read this article from a link by RealClimate and it made me furious. for sheer economic benefit, you'd ignore the almost certain (fine, it's almost) fact that global warming is around here, and that it is threatening the future of our kind? no maybe you don't care. by then you think you'd have died anyway. so who cares, right? i hope you don't have any children then, i'd pity them if you do.

oh well. sorry about the rant. shall be back to my peaceful mood. maybe should listen to one or two history webcast.

ciao.

the day after

2006-11-26T13:52:00.000+08:00

fu fu fu...

5 marks out of 50 marks.

that's the number of marks that i was sure of getting for yesterday's exam. the rest was all bullshit. seriously, nothing can get harder than operating system exam, especially if you'd only studied for 2 days before taking the paper.

wohooo! i feel so pro. and i also feel like complaining and whining. like a kid. but who cares. kid then kid la!
---

yeah, and i discovered berkeley on iTunes and another less worthy stanford on iTunes (not much things inside yet, that's why less worthy). anyway, the contents look so damn fun. they have many lectures available online, including some psychology and history lectures. plus i found out they have operating system course online too! should have discovered this earlier, then i'd be able to study better for my operating system paper yesterday. damn it!

listened to some three lectures worth, and they are gooooood! really good! i can understand like most of what he was talking about without much difficulty.
---

went to sheng shiong yesterday to shop. and you know what? i always buy this president instant noodles, 5 for $1.10. i thought that was cheap enough. until yesterday. i found indomie, 5 for 95c!! wtf!! anyway, i'm going to cook it now to try it out. omg! that must have been the cheapest instant noodles i've ever bought in singapore. gosh!
---

ah, and i checked my friendster after months of inactivities. i even added two reviews and three testimonials, while receiving a few myself (just got an email telling me that i just got another one).

anyway, check it out!

exam coming

2006-11-25T01:27:00.000+08:00

today is my first exam, mpsh2a, 1pm, 2hr paper. big sigh.

started studying yesterday and i'm close to dying. so tough so difficult. plus i had 4 reports to finish yesterday (finished them all fortunately).

been messaging people all over msn and hp, wishing them luck for the coming exam. i feel happier after chatting with so many people now. thanks everyone. and for those longer, happier chats from the like of sean, kelly, pek, yiling, siyong, val, and gerald. muahahahaha! made my mug more cheerful.

and thanks for the super belated birthday with hor, kelly!

on the same note, happy belated birthday hara (19 nov). at least i remembered to wish you on that day (thanks to the notice in b blk lift). unlike kelly *pffft*. kidding only arh!

anyway, i've so many things to share, i'll try to write them down when my exam is over.

jiayou everyone! all the best for the coming exam yah?

and happy thanksgiving!!

switch. off. / little superhero girl

2006-11-23T18:10:00.000+08:00

here

i couldn't find the original site (to be exact, it returns 404 when i entered the page in my web browser). anyway the original one is

http://weblog.garyturner.net/switch/

spent half an hour just to retrieve that page again. i blame peklyn for that! all thanks to her! while reading her blog, only the second entry from top, she thought about switching off computer. my brain went to overdrive. i was recalling the 'switch. off.' parody that i read before years back. yes, literally years back! the parody was dated to january 2003! gosh! i went through the sql backup of my old blog (that died without a trace) just to find the original website, only to discover that it returns 404. damn sad. finally, decided to use web archive. lucky it works! so anytime you need to dig up old website, just use internet archive website!
---

anyway, got a new keyboard after destroying my other keyboard's L button. it seems that keyboard seems to have a very low life expectancy under my care. two keyboards ago, it lasts a mere 6 months with me. an aopen, obviously lousy. a keyboard ago, a microsoft comfort curve usb keyboard, lasted me less than a year. blah. pretty cocked up huh? even microsoft keyboard don't last long. so my current keyboard is microsoft again. heh. it's ps/2 though. i discovered that usb keyboard has loads of disadvantages (couldn't access bios occassionally is one of them). oh well, this keyboard has disadvantage too. the orientation of home, end, ins, del, p-up, and p-down is vertical instead of the usual horizontal. sigh. must get use to it i guess. at least until i got myself a better keyboard. obviously, this one won't last long too! lol.
---

and this lyrics below. took my all my effort the past ten minutes to get the lyrics and the next five minutes to fix it. super nice song, by my favourite artist atm.

Little Superhero Girl
Corrinne May

[super nice piano]

I feel like a little girl
trying to conquer the whole wild world
Everybody wants a piece of me
and I just don't know where to run
I've got work piled up to my head
All I want to do is jump into bed
and wash away my troubles with lemonade
Play hide and seek with the boy next door
Take a trip to Singapore
And imagine how I'll make the world a better place

All I need is a good disguise
One where nobody can recognize
That I'm feeling so small
All I need is a secret weapon
I've gotta have faith
Zapping monsters into outer space
I'm gonna be a Superhero

Na-na-na-na-na-na...
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na...
Na-na-na-na-na-na...
yeah...

I were a little girl
Trying to clean up the whole wide world
I'd kick the bad boys back to school
Teach them fighting's just not cool
I'd give every kid a teddy bear
Turn starving people into millionaires
Break glass ceilings with dynamite
Sprinkle a little sugar and spice
Turn the bullies that terrorize
into pink poodles that bark but don't bite

All I need is a good disguise
One where nobody can recognize
That I'm feeling so small
All I need is a secret weapon
I've gotta have faith
Zapping monsters into outer space
I'm gonna be a Superhero

Na-na-na-na-na-na...
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na...
Na-na-na-na-na-na...

Gonna be a Superhero

Na-na-na-na-na-na...
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na...
Na-na-na-na-na-na...
Yeah...

Little Superhero Girl
Little Superhero Girl
Save me
Little Superhero Girl
Little Superhero Girl
Save me from myself

I feel like a little girl
Trying to conquer the whole wide world

i'm getting much more readings . . .

2006-11-22T01:21:00.000+08:00

. . . all thanks to the references and bibliography of the readings given by my professor.

it's fantastic how just by reading the reference section of a paper, you can easily retrieve so many more papers that you need. they are like a chain. you got new paper means you got new references. they grow fast. i don't know whether i can finish all my readings that i dig through just now. it's fantastic.

and nus library has a damn good facility for paper searching. please! online!! imagine that! hahaha! sounds crazy, am i? everything is online now, isn't it? but still. rather than going to the library and digging all those proceedings to some conferences here and there, you can simply search everything online. love!

my p2p readings just piled to an enormous 100 pages. all to be done by tomorrow latest. this is so impressive!

my project proposal so far has 13 references already. and that's like good enough for a project reference.

not to mention i finished writing my 5000-word research paper on monday. so happy! that paper is especially crazy. i had like 20 plus references. a few books borrowed from library, some papers downloaded from dance research journal and other sources. it's just crazy. oh, and wikipedia! the best! heh!

i hope that paper can give me an A. pretty please. i really need that sorely missing A grade this semester, otherwise, my cap will really plunge into darkness. ah, and this project proposal, if well constructed, may well be my saving grace. hopefully netting a B+ (or, hope against hope, an A-).

there is another module with high chance of an A. but oh well, that one is very difficult to predict. so let's leave that module alone.

oh gosh. this semester isn't as bad as i thought before. thank God for everything!

played badminton with weiling and a guy with a difficult chinese name (shan't write it here for fear of getting it wrong). cheerleading training for half an hour, managed 5 sets of 10 toss-ups (i think some of those 50 toss-ups are already in toss-up/jerks class).

then there was cg. oh, what a wonderful day.

I Offer My Life
Don Moen

(Verse 1)
All that I am, all that I have
I lay them down before you, oh Lord
All my regrets, all my acclaims
The joy and the pain, I'm making them yours

(Chorus)
Lord, I offer my life to you
Everything I've been through
Use it for your glory
Lord I offer my days to you
Lifting my praise to you
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord I offer you my life

(Verse 2)
Things in the past, things yet unseen
Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true
All of my heart, alll of my praise
My heart and my hands are lifted to you

(Chorus)
Lord, I offer my life to you
Everything I've been through
Use it for your glory
Lord I offer my days to you
Lifting my praise to you
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord I offer you my life

(Bridge)
What can we give
That you have not given?
And what do we have
That is not already yours?
All we possess
Are these lives we're living
That's what we give to you, Lord

(Chorus)
Lord, I offer my life to you
Everything I've been through
Use it for your glory
Lord I offer my days to you
Lifting my praise to you
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord I offer you my life

(Chorus)
Lord, I offer my life to you
Everything I've been through
Use it for your glory
Lord I offer my days to you
Lifting my praise to you
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord I offer you my life
Lord I offer you my life
---

new favourite down here!

Open Your Mind
Mirai
Gensomaden Saiyuki

moshimo ima subete ga umaku nante ikanai
makesou ni naru toki datte
hitomi wo tojireba kokoro kara
ekai ga miete kuru

In this world when life can be so tough
You must be strong
Just believe in yourself and don't you fear
So open up your mind and close your eyes
Take another look from the other side

kodoku na yoru demo mayoi osoreru toki mo
ima wa hitori demo kono ashi de doko made mo
aruite ikeru hazu dakara

Just hold on tight hitomi tojita nara
Look inside yourself kagayaki ga aru kara
Yes, subete shinjite hoshii
You can take another look from the other side

Just hold on tight kokoro kujikete mo
Reach into your soul ashita ga mienakute mo
Yes, ikiru tsuyosa ga areba
You can take another look from the other side
ai no subete ni deau made...

kono sekai de ikinuite-iku tame no tsuyosa wo
anata ni negatte-iru kara
kokoro no tobira wo hiraitara
nanika ga miete kuru

Just remember you are not alone
So don't you fear
Even though you're miles away
I'm by your side
So open up your mind and close your eyes
I'll be there for you no matter where you are

hoshi no inochi nara nagai kedo itsu made mo
onaji kono hibi ga kurikaesu wake ja nai
ashita wa dare ni mo mienai

Just hold on tight hitomi tojita nara
Look inside yourself kodou kanjiru kara
Yes, "MIRAI" shinjite hoshii
You can take another look from the other side

Just hold on tight kokoro kujikete mo
Reach into your soul ashita ga mienakute mo
Yes, chigau sekai ga atte
You can take another look from the other side
ai no subete ni deaeru yo...

Just hold on tight hitomi tojita nara
Look inside yourself kodou kanjiru kara
Yes, "MIRAI" shinjite hoshii
You can take another look from the other side

Just hold on tight kokoro kujikete mo
Reach into your soul ashita ga mienakute mo
Yes, chigau sekai ga atte
You can take another look from the other side
ai no subete ni deau made...

bush in town . . .

2006-11-19T15:22:00.000+08:00

. . . and o lvl and a lvl paper are cancelled and pushed behind.

godlike!

holy shit!

i don't believe it. what has singapore become? highways closed for an hour or two just because a big shot president (who doesn't even have control over his country's house and congress) came to town?

oh, and the best thing: he's going to indonesia the coming week. i wish i was there during his speech, shaking hands with him, wishing him good luck for his trip to indonesia. yeah. that would be sweet.
---

this kind of thing is the stuffs that make me break my swearing-off-from-blogging.

farewell (for a few days)

2006-11-12T00:51:00.000+08:00

no more. until 30 november (or at least until 15 november, which is my birthday, and the marker that ends all my reports and projects).

regards. writer.

Revolution Song
Fefe Dobson

In my dream I break the chains that hold this place together
but in my dream the consequences would be so much better
Then they are.... cause beyond the walls that hold us here
Skies that stretch across the atmosphere
Oh a revolution is near

In my dream I hear the echoes of the recent battle....yeah
Lost and wounded as the faded cries begin to settle for the night
But the words you use to hurt me now
Only seem to make me strong some how
Oh a revolution is now

And the days will get warmer, and I'll take down my armor
Together we can fight this feeling
And the demons that stalk us will eventually turn to dust
Together we can start this healing
Oh...Yea

Oh hey [x2]
Together we can start this healing
Oh hey [x2]

ham photoshoot

2006-11-07T14:42:00.000+08:00

wow. yesterday we had a super successful photo-taking, for ham. at 1pm i was pretty desperate since ap didn't seem to receive my sms. we didn't have a theme and i don't think all of us knew when the heck is the photo-taking.

when i went back from class at 2pm, i met kel along the way. so i just told her about the photo-taking and told her what to wear. then. well, since i already told her, i might as well independently come out with a theme. but then i went to sleep. when i woke up at 5pm, my desperation was mounting. lol. so i started writing an email message. i sent it to everyone and then message them. it was quite cool. here's the content:

Ai Ping
Cute please. Lol! Make sure that you use your vertical challenges (d: j/k) to your own advantage (this one is not a joke though). So something that will makes you look even cuter than you already is.

Suffian
New age wear. Your image will be something like the image you portrayed during Culture Night.

Kelly
Your image will be sweet-looking. Something like what you wore when I saw you just now (accidentally of course, in case anyone's wondering).

Nicholas
Formal wear, with tie. Your image will be after work image, e.g. loosened tie, etc. Make sure you still appear professional though ;).

Chelsa
Funky image! Your image will be cool and funky. I think it's quite easy and broad. So just think of something. I think it'll suit you very well.

Yanjie
Man-in-black. I was thinking of black pants, with white plain t-shirt and black jacket. No shades. If you could think of something similar that will look even better, that's even better.

Su Yuen
Professional, cool-looking, working attire. Suffian's idea is that you'll look like sophisticated designer working at boutiques (hmm, actually, that's my idea of his idea, but oh well).

Chwan Sang
Ugh, I run out of idea leh! Some kind of outdoor attires. Something you'd wear to capture outdoor photos. But nothing shorter than three-quarters. And since you can compare with my ideas for the rest, just don't underdress. Lol!

Jonathan
Funky looking attire. Something hip. Like those hip-hop dancer. Plus accessories if you could get one.

Nicky
High-class informal. I was thinking on the line of jeans and long-sleeve pullover with a shirt underneath.

And Myself!!
I already thought of what I wanted to wear, so I'll just describe it. White track pants with colour t-shirt and informal dark green jacket.

you know, the first thing that came to my mind after i sent this email was that it'll be a disaster. people will underdress and everything. some people not having the right attire. whatever. at 1040, ten minutes before photo-taking, i was so relieved i was just so happy and excited that night. they all came with just the right kind of attire. not exactly as i portrayed them, but yeah, it was pretty damn good!

i was impressed by suffian's attire. nicky's was pretty impressive too. kelly didn't even bother to change out of what she wore at 2pm. but that was what i wanted. i told her to wear sweet-looking attire since she was looking so sweet with that attire. lol.

aiping was failure lar! lucky us, we managed to borrow sombrero and sunflower from green comm. it was fantastic i tell you. she looks exactly as i portrayed her to be.

chelsa should have worn her retro attire. i was thinking of getting somebody to wear retro. but i thought it'll be kinda difficult to find retro attire. little did i know that chelsa has loads of retro. ah, missed opportunity.

cs looks just like tourist! heh heh. no, professional photographer, with his vest and all.

perfect! i didn't think it'll go so well, but it does! and i'm very happy. very, very happy.
---

we lost 3 games yesterday night. that means all 3 games. embarassing. but oh well, everyone has their bad nights.
---

this morning's breakfast was so fun! sat with the a-blockers since weiling was so excited to see me. met several new and old people. talked to vivien and that girl from my og. also talked with seeteng and shimin. sean and eric also came later on. it was so fun! the chatting and all.

well, that's all for now. i should be starting on my project proposal. heh.
---

happy birthday kelly!

counting days

2006-11-06T10:10:00.000+08:00

i went to ncc yesterday, with hasikin and his gf. it was good. funny and all. also insightful.

anyway, i shopped for awhile at carrefour. it's been quite some time since i last shopped there. i think the last time was with sy about a month ago. before that, it was even longer. nah. bought myself some instant noodles. oh, and the pineapple pie (those $2 for 2 slices) in carrefour tastes great! maybe i was just hungry, but it sure taste nice.

i haven't really found the stuffs that i really wanted to buy. i guess i've to go clementi today. sigh. another day going up in flame.
---

oh, so much work, so little time. argh. i have my chinese oral today. feels like dying already. plus so many reports to write. and my own take home exam. oh sigh. well, i guess i'll just work harder over the next few days. lol.

okay. shall go back to work now.

seeya.

where are you going?

2006-11-03T18:49:00.000+08:00

i wrote a draft post a few days ago. but never published it. it seems that by marking a post as draft, i'm destined not to publish it. no. i didn't even finish the draft. i just lost all the train of thoughts that crossed me that night.

anyway, some updates.

culture night on tuesday was extraordinary good. it's artistic. really love the directing. the acting was powerful as well. although i suspect that they are not acting at all. i mean, they just act as what they would be everyday. a lot of people are condemning krx standard nowadays. even wl does, especially on the audition method. oh well. anyway, aca was superb. i love their second song. although i heard they buang a bit. but the vocal for that song was great. glen was the main solo. superb part. he's just the right person for the song. i couldn't even remember the title of the song. not that i could remember the title of the song on the day itself. well, i guess i'll just ask some aca member about the song. i'm sure they know the title of the song. heh.

then we had cg straight after culture night. it's halloween night btw. so we had fun character guessing and stuffs. thank God for the great night.

and, not to forget. happy birthday shiwei!

wednesday made my day. after a talk at night about global warming. i made up my mind to support the cause of preventing global warming. hopefully we could really do something in nus against global warming.

and two people made my day that night. weiling and alice. they told me that i'm the sunshine of their life. apparently because i always smile. so they said that seeing me makes them happy even at the end of tiring day. thank you for both of you. and hope you guys have good time at uc-berkeley.

ah, i'm so tired now. i don't really know why. too bad i guess. later got dota, so must stay awake. i want to farm tonight. farm like hell. i love farming. i realised that i love farming more than killing heroes. haha!

today, different from other times. i want to present a song again. but this time from dave matthews band. i thought i'd never like this band. but i do at the end. here goes. the first dave matthews band's song that i like...

Where Are You Going?
Dave Matthews Band

Where are you going, with your long face pulling down?
Don’t hide away, like an ocean
But you can’t see, but you can smell
And the sound waves crash down

I am no superman
I have no answers for you
I am no hero, oh that’s for sure
But I do know one thing for sure
Is where you are, is where I belong
I do know, where you go, is where I want to be

Where are you going, where do you go?
Are you looking for answers, to questions under the stars?
If along the way you are growing weary,
you can rest with me until a brighter day
It’s okay, where are you going, where do you go?

I am no superman
I have no answers for you
I am no hero, oh that’s for sure
But I do know one thing for sure
Is where you are, is where I belong
I do know, where you go, is where I want to be

Where are you going, where do you go?
Are you looking for answers, where do you go?

Where are you going?
Where do you go?
Let’s go

and this lovely book. it's called the thirteenth tale by diane setterfield (hopefully i spelt the name correctly). the book is wonderful really. i really really love it to the core. anyway, i even wrote my first amazon's review on this very book. so cool! i love the story. it's like a jigsaw puzzle. when you read it, everything seems haphazard with certain connections that you know exist but haven't discovered of yet. at the end, you found it. it's a lovely connection. connection that puts back even the tiniest details back into the puzzle hours after you finished reading the book. wonderful book. it rapidly climbs the chart of my favourite book, lead at the top by time traveller's wife. hmm. i just bought a hardcover copy of time traveller's wife for sw's birthday. hope you like it. anyway, if you've the time, read the thirteenth tale. you can borrow from also, but make sure you take care of the book. hehe. i'm a book lover.

anyway, i think i'll stop here. there're other things i should settle in life. signing off.

The Extent of Friendship
(me)

i'm going.
where are you going?
no idea.
can i go with you?
through the storms?
...

i wish

2006-10-29T16:16:00.000+08:00

What You Own
RENT OST

MARK
"Hi. Mark Cohen for Buzzline... Back to you Alexi. Coming up, vampire welfare queens who are compulsive bowlers."

Oh God, what am I doing?

Don't breathe too deep
Don't think all day
Dive into work
Drive the other way
That drip of hurt
That pint of shame
Goes away
Just play the game

You're living in America
At the end of the millenium

You're living in America
Leave your conscience at the tone

And when you're living in America
At the end of the millenium
You're what you own

ROGER
The filmmaker cannot see

MARK
And the songwriter cannot hear

ROGER
Yet I see Mimi everywhere

MARK
Angel's voice is in my ear

ROGER
Just tighten those shoulders

MARK
Just clench your jaw til you frown

ROGER
Just don't let go

BOTH
Or you may drown

You're living in America
At the end of the millenium
You're living in America
Where it's like the twilight zone

And when you're living in America
At the end of the millenium
You're what you own

So I own not a notion
I escaoe an ape content
I don't own emotion- I rent

MARK
What was it about that night

ROGER
What was it about that night

BOTH
Connection- In an isolatiing age

MARK
For once the shadows gave way to light

ROGER
For once the shadows gave way to light

BOTH
For once I didn't disengage

MARK
Angel- I hear you- I hear it
I see it- I see it
My song!

MARK (On the phone) ROGER
Alexi- Mark One song-glory
Call me a hypocrite Mimi
I need to finish my
Own film Your Eyes
I quit!

BOTH
Dying in America
At the end of the millenium
We're dying in America
To come into our own

And when you're dying in America
At the end of the millenium
You're not alone

I'm not alone
I'm not alone

amazing musical. i think i won't do any justice describing it here. just watch it. RENT is really good. very liberal, very touching. imagine that you're mark, and all your friends are going to die one day soon due to AIDS. and you'll be left alone. imagine you're collins, at angel's funeral, his gay cross-dresser partner, who died also due to AIDS, while you yourself is going to die soon because of the same disease. imagine you are roger, living after your girlfriend committed suicide as she found out that both of you are HIV positive. imagine, the difficulty of accepting a new girl into your life.

imagine this bunch of friends. together, facing obstacles and difficulties in alphabet city, an avant-garde artists district in new york.

Dying in America
At the end of the millenium
We're dying in America
To come into our own

And when you're dying in America
At the end of the millenium
You're not alone
---

i'm sorry. i'm not in a very good mood. in fact, i'm slipping into depression again. sigh. just received a terrible sms. and i don't feel like doing anything anymore. what a life. i don't even feel like writing. i need to rest. sigh. but i couldn't sleep. i need to finish my reading, but i couldn't concentrate. i need to study for tomorrow's quiz, but i can't put anything into my brain. i wish...

what could i wish for? there are so many things. but what exactly do i really want to wish for. i can feel myself slipping into another world. a world that doesn't exist in reality. i exist in a dream world; a world where everything is surreal.

i need life support. i wish...

There's only us
There's only this
Forget regret
Or life is yours to miss
No other road
No other way
No day but today

i wish i've this philosophy. i wish i could live with this philosophy. but i know i can't. when i do things, i feel like i'm doing them for nothing. i feel that i'm falling down, crashing down to the ground. it's a sad feeling, as if dying is so much better than living. and it's the saddest thing you can think of.

2006. i wish this year is over soon. this is the worst year of my life.

i wish...

I’ve got something up my sleeve that I don’t want to show you
Cause every time I bleed I make a fool of me
I’ve got shaky little fingers, that hold on to your grip
You’ve got wrapped around my world
So tight that I can’t breathe
I’m suffocating

We come crashing down
Every time we go this far again
We come tumbling down
Every time we go this far again
Every time we go

islam class final meet

2006-10-28T13:19:00.000+08:00

Seasons Of Life (alternative)
RENT OST

[piano solo]
In diapers, report cards, in smoke wheels, in speeding tickets...
In contracts, dollars, in funerals, in births...

in five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
how do you figure, a last year on earth?

figure in love...
figure in love...
figure in love...
measure in love!

seasons of love... (love)
seasons of love... (love)

i haven't finished watching the show. it's still fantastic past the first hour of the show. the songs are really great. it's really a musical. and unlike phantom of the opera, where they just simply repeat the same tune of angel of music over and over again, this show really shows diverse numbers of songs. really love the songs. the above is an alternative version of the standard seasons of love (the one normally labeled as original broadway cast's version). this one is shorter and far more appealing. the tune is similar to the original one, but more mellow, and richer. more harmonization and a lot cooler!

there is 60 minutes in every hour. that means there is 1500 minutes in a day. since there is 365 days in a year, there is 525600 minutes. the song is pretty accurate huh?
---

had a great time yesterday with my islam classmates. we had great dinner at el-sheikh at pahang street. food is great. the music was great. and we learned to dance to zafin music. lynnette, victoria and me. really enjoyed the final moment we spent together as a class. prof alatas was great too. christina, lynnette, jonathan and i spent all the way to midnight to talk to prof while being constantly disturbed by his young boy, obayd. jonathan and lynnette were smoking the shisha too. i didn't dare to try. although it really sounds and looks cool.

i tell you, the best class i've ever had in nus is this islam class. thank you.
---

time to go to training. seeya!

can't wait for badminton with peklyn, eric and shili later.

life support

2006-10-27T14:41:00.000+08:00

Life Support
RENT OST

[Gordon]
Look - I find some of what you teach suspect
Because I'm used to relying on intellect
But I try to open up to what I don't know

Because reason says I should have died
Three years ago

[All]
There's only us
There's only this
Forget regret
Or life is yours to miss
No other road
No other way
No day but today

what a powerful song. this song is taken from R.E.N.T., during the HIV/AIDS support group meeting. short and compelling. the song reaches deep into my soul. forget regret, or life is yours to miss.

live for today.
---

i'm getting a little sick today. flu has finally caught up with me after almost half a year of peaceful breathing. somehow i decided to watch RENT just for the fun of it. and it's a really strong story. i haven't reached the end yet since i'll be having a class really soon and i don't think i'll be able to finish watching it now. maybe later, after supper. before this, i only focused on seasons of love out of the whole OST, but today, i'm really introduced to the deep and touching songs from the OST. previously i didn't bother to listen to the lyrics. but since the movie is narrated through all these songs, i have to listen to the lyrics. and they really ushers me through the world of the people who are in needs, people who do not have much to look forward in life but that one thing that they believe in. so unlike me. i have much to look forward. but nothing in particular that i really believe in. why should i? i'm pathetic, after all.

forget regret. yes. from now on, looks forward. don't turn back. march forward. forget regret. there's only today. there's only tomorrow. there's no yesterday.

but where can i find my life support?

the day of inconvenient truth

2006-10-26T16:24:00.000+08:00

i've started reading. all nonsense still. but reading nevertheless. today i managed to read a few research paper on p2p. rather interesting. i was thinking of reading some islam books too, in a bid to find some research topic for my 6000 words 60% term paper. haven't done that one though. shall try to do tomorrow since i'll be quite free with only 1 class tomorrow. no make it no class tomorrow. no mood to attend os lecture.

i was thinking of getting my hand of some european history books. but decided to delay that to holiday. i mean, i've enough things at hands to even think of reading more stuffs outside what's required in the syllabus. i think prof mendis is quite right when he stated matter-of-fact-ly that singapore education (and in fact most education institutions in the world) is too bogged down with a long list of details in the syllabus while it is likely that no more than 10% is going to be useful after university. this prof is not bad actually. i started to enjoy his classes quite a bit more than before.

talking about university, do you know that the oldest university in the world is nalanda university? i figured that out yesterday during the talk by LKYSPP dean, mr kishore mahbubani. not bad huh!? i actually attended that talk. quite surprised by myself actually. i promised myself that today is a new day. and it will be a new day.

imagine this. at 12 midnight, i cleaned my room. it's now so clean (not the clean standard of most girls, and some guys, but clean for my standard) i could really breathe more easily. kristy pointed out that my room does not stink like what she believed, but that it lacks ventilation. so i opened both of my blinds now instead of just one. and yeah, really, it feels a lot cooler and better. maybe because it's raining outside now.

back to book. i really have this urge to go to library, borrow one or two history books (most likely european history, since i'm averse to american history and i'm not really interested in asian history, with exception of middle east during early islam era), and start reading. but my common sense got the better part of me. i refused to budge and decided firmly to stay on track on academic stuffs first and read some other time. another book that i had in mind is Only Revolution by Mark Z. Danielewski. according to its amazon review and snapshot, this book is an avant garde fiction. the kind that i've never encountered before. so i'd be really happy when i can lay my hand on this book (in a few weeks time, after exam). ahh! so many books to read, but no time at all. regretted spending so much of my time playing.

oh, not to mention thursday next's novels. this series would definitely appeal to book lovers man! c'mon, a story about a book detective. about a nemesis that could steal characters from books, selling plot devices in black markets, etc. what more could you ask? ;)

anyway, today is a little different from a normal day. i spent 2 hours chatting away at 6th floor of the usp block. they are having this logo voting thing for the usc. so i was just talking with jaesson and fumin there. then there was this girl and this guy that i didn't really know before 12 noon but now i know. lol! the girl's name actually reminded me of my jc classmate, in fact, the name is very similar but for 3 letters, 2 in the surname and 1 in the given name. jie hui, that's the name. the guy is royston. i'm wondering how i could meet two people with certain features that are totally unique.

she likes the time traveller's wife. what in the world!? firstly, the chances that a singaporean girl has read that book is closed to zero. for one to actually like it very much is nearer to negative (i said nearer). in my whole life before today, not a single person had ever heard of this book before i mentioned it to them. i guess, i might've asked all the wrong people. this audrey niffenegger's masterpiece is really one of my all-time favourites, along with lotr, american gods, and a few more books here and there (ah, talking about neil gaiman, i heard fragile things is not as good as his previous works, so i'll probably will give it a skip and focus to get anansi boys and coraline).

talking about time traveller's wife, i just read in NewMan that... wait, let me phrase myself. i don't actually read NewMan. it just happened that i was having my haircut and the person handed me that magazine. i skimmed through the cover and i saw an article on books. how convenient. this magazine usually is all about vanity, but well, books, how vain can that be. so i read the article. it's about books you should have at your shelves to impress women. erm. i guess most of them are rubbishy choices. but two really struck a chord. time traveller's wife and thursday with morrie (or was it five people you meet in heaven?). anyway, that's when i read about the genre of the time traveller's wife. i've been putting this book under romance. and yes, this is probably the only 'romance' book that i like. when i read the genre classification in the magazine, i almost burst to laugh. they call it macho romance what the heck!? that's so freakin' wrong man!

anyway, she also takes dr johan geertsema's module, albeit a different one. she wanted to take power, space and pleasure but couln't get it. but she got understanding irony. it's a pity really. power space is a friggin' good module (imho, of course, since i took it). the only comparable writing module is probably that module on minds.

ah, not to mention that i've a good time talking about martial arts with royston. freakin' cool! he's a judo guy! same like lionel. i always thought judo is cool, but i'm averse to it since i don't like being thrown around. ^^ i prefer the fast-paced, leg-oriented tkd over judo. so that's why i'm in tkd now. that said, i missed another tkd training yesterday due to the talk. hmm. and the cheerleading training yesterday. was fun. it's a totally different fun from tkd. been missing quite a lot of cheerleading training due to tkd. but my ex-captain has asked me to balance out the two more. so i might be attending quite a bit of cheerleading training from now onwards.

hmm. i shouldn't talk so much. back to work. then dinner. then on my way to watch an inconvenient truth, free gv ticket from the usp. so happy. it's about global warming, and global warming issues usually strike a chord with me.

okay. off i go.
cheers.
p.s. btw. don't read too much into the title. since the only reason why it's there is because i'm going to watch the show today. so it's a good timepost, right?

angel in disguise

2006-10-25T10:09:00.000+08:00

if there is one song that really touches me in these past couple of days, this is the one. the lyrics is very meaningful. out of all singaporean singers, this girl is the only one that i actually listen to.

Angel In Disguise
Corrinne May

I woke up this morning feeling kind of blue
and I stumbled out of bed
and dragged my feet across the room
Right outside my front door was a rose
and a note that said 'Somebody Loves You'

But out on the street it starts to pour
and before I get soaking wet,
A total stranger runs to give me
the jacket off his back
I turn around to thank him
But he waves me with a smile
I can hardly believe my eyes
He puts on a halo and starts to fly

Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look for paradise
You could be next to an angel in disguise

I met a good friend for lunch
and we had a delicious meal
But I forgot to bring my wallet
I felt like an imbecile
But she was sweet, she gave me a treat and
Bought me a chicken sandwich
To take home for tea

But out on the street with nothing to eat
A man and his shopping cart go
Traveling to places,
Collecting social graces
I give him my sandwich
and we chatter for a while
I see a rainbow wash over his eyes
He gives me his halo and
I start to fly

Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look for paradise
You could be next to an angel in disguise

Don't try to hide away from me
I know you're by my side

Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look for paradise
You could be next to an angel in disguise

Everyday can be legendary
Every minute, an endless surprise
You could be the next angel in disguise

I woke up this morning
Feeling kind of new
---

really, take a look at the ordinary. there are really lots of things extraordinary when you look at them closely.

oh, i've got free ticket to watch an inconvenient truth tomorrow at gv ps. not bad huh? i know it's a documentary and not usually the kind of show that i watch. but since it sounds not bad and since usp seems to be giving free tickets, why not? (i think i am very singaporean now, free also must snatch.)

played a good dota game yesterday. i farmed a lot more yesterday. farming neutral until my neighbour is complaining that i didn't help much in the push. but once i came out from farming neutral, i kill like madness. i kill so fast that i was almost unstoppable. anyone who comes close to me will just enjoy an almost continuous stuns from my headshot. so relaxing. i killed the enemy's strongest hero, which was unkillable for a long time already. thanks to the medusa for tanking. otherwise i'd have died instead. i tell you, farming neutral is good! push half-way, farm neutral, back to push, farm neutral and regenerate. keep repeating, especially if the opponent doesn't seem to pay any attention. but you've to be able to kill neutral fast (pa with bf is superb candidate). otherwise it's pointless.

anyway, just gotten myself a downloaded russell peters, going to watch that later.

busy busy

2006-10-23T12:51:00.000+08:00

no, not busy studying unfortunately. i've spent the whole weekends having nothing but fun and sleep.

training on saturday, as usual.

spent the whole night doing infotech stuffs after helping kristy with her computer (which couldn't be helped anyway). went to get the covenant from eric too.

for the first time this year, we pull a whole-nighter for infotech, my chair and i. it was tiring. then we had breakfast at west coast mcd and just sleep after that. before the work, i played badminton for two and a half hour. that makes thing even more tiring. played with shawn at first for a few minutes. then eric came and i played with him. then jiann hooi came also. then shili also played. it becomes eric/shili vs. jh/me. and we lost. sigh. narrow but still lost. shili is a good ihg player. blah. if anything, i have improved a lot in badminton. really a lot. not good enough for ihg, but certainly much better than i was a year ago. my footwork is better. i moved a hell lot faster. i could hit better. i could net better. yay! shall play again this coming weekend. moving back, i had dinner with jackson and we went shopping at sheng shiong. he also showed me russell peters' show. not bad. pretty funny.

when i woke up on sunday evening (about 3pm), the whole hall was deserted. there was literally nobody around. i went to visit pek then. had a good long chat with her. mak and eunice were there too half way through. had some fun playing those eyezmaze game. chronon is always fun as usual. grow cube and grow rpg is fun if you won. lol! got to play with pek's guitar for some time also. i hadn't been playing for ages and ages. sad. can't even play anything properly. but okay, i've drop guitar from my list anyway. no mood to learn anymore. and right now i prefer playing those low tunes. but my specialty used to be high tunes. so yeah. i don't even have repertoire of nice songs (what used to be nice is not nice anymore). maybe i should start from scratch and play for fun. pek is good with her guitar man.

played dota on irc. the other team pissed me off badly. our team is losing players (due to leavers) and they just kept mocking us as noobs. yeah. if my team had all stayed, i'm pretty sure i can fry you all easily even with my hideous lags. when you played sniper with more than 1 second lag, go scatter build. it's easier to farm. then go eul/skadi. that combination will pawn. next time you all play, be more sensitive. it was 1v5 after all. how am i supposed to win?

well, that's my weekend. fun, isn't it? it's fun to the end lor. chunting went up here to my floor just to find people to convert word document to pdf. why? because adobe reader can read aloud. blah! then we bluffed her saying that the new microsoft word can not only read aloud, but also sing. wth!? she believed! then cs, zy, kel and i went to her room to play around with my favourite microsoft sam. lol! it's so fun when sam read the hokkien expletives. or when it read chinese names. so, so funny. had more than half an hour of laughter. super fun!

agh, shall go to class soon. see ya.

pink & blue

2006-10-19T11:29:00.000+08:00

yesterday was total war. it was exclusively c-block total war. at 5pm, the 5th floor guys (my floor) were planning crazy shit to be done during dinner time against the pink. so it goes this way, we're going to kidnap debby. then we're going to open the pinks' rooms and put shredded paper on top of the fan so that they would receive the gift of snow when they switch it on. some pinks would also received the gifts of shampoo, on the table, saying blues rock! then when they tried to rescue debby, we'll throw ice cold water on them. fantastic plan man! the execution was even more brilliant.

as the pinks went to dinner, i went to tahpow food (since i had training afterwards). then i went to join the blues. i personally sabo-ed faith, jocelyn and wendy's rooms. so freakin' crazy i tell you. we put so much shredded paper it was really going to be one snowy nights for the ten plus pinks that were on our target list man.

then alvin called debby to come down to fifth floor. she was chosen because she won't struggle when we did things to her. so she really went down to fifth floor. then we kidnapped her and tied her to a chair in the toilet. then we started drawing things using whipped cream and chocolate syrup. she's so funny! she didn't struggle a single bit! she even got to drink the hershey's syrup during the process.

not to mention that xiu was somehow there also. so she was also kidnapped. when we thought we could just let them go around in the toilet untied (to wash their hairs everything), they started to destroy our mirror. wah! they really left lots of fingerprints (with soap) and 'stupid blues' with nail polish. it was simply crazy cool!

the rest of the pinks refused to save her, especially baozhu. then debby was very angry (and still smiling) and started ranting about the pinks on the video (yes, we recorded the whole thing!).

when the pinks finally rescued them, the war began. at first baozhu came down with xinyi i think. then we started throwing water at them, but they used the big garbage bin as a shield. then suddenly ashley came down and started throwing buckets of water on us. she kept coming down again and again with more buckets of water. huixian, aili, tianyu, and a few more girls were there too. the whole thing becomes a huge war, inclusive of hosereel usage and buckets and buckets of cold water. the water was a few centimetres high (at least 2cm) and it managed to seep into my room and cs's room. the cleaning up was bad. my room was wet all the way to my rug. sigh. we mopped everything up. it was really the peak of pink and blue man!

i love my family! lol.
---

at night i played scrabble with yiling, daniel and big josh. i got third! yay! at least not the lowest as usual. (:

then we went to sheares to pack food. went back early from sheares since i was tahpowing food for shiwei (supposedly orange juice only, but decided to get waffles too). when i reached back, i couldn't find her. thought she was already asleep and left a message (again!) on her door. how difficult can it get to contact a girl without phone? difficult!! mind you! then ended up chatting with jocelyn, and then with esther also. then shiwei came back and joined our conversation. at first i wanted to go back already then shiwei and i kept talking around the lift area (we're initially standing around the toilet area, lol). we were talking about cheer comm since eric was so desperate to rope her in. i was telling her that chair position is not as hard as it seems. which i think is very true. although you got more points, those are value-added points, it's because you do lots of planning. but you're usually the least tired of the bunch. the person who does the least amount of work. although for her might be a bit tiring. she's very busy. it's very funny.

i think some people (like kel, jocelyn, etc.) are suspecting that there's something between us. i can assure you we don't (yet). a few people that went passed us yesterday were asking her who tahpow the food for her. i was damn paiseh i tell you. they keep saying how sweet of me, etc. argh! cannot take it! me, sweet? it's like heaven and earth.

then xiao wei also joined our conversation. started talking about how interview goes and how people started leaving hall at the end of the academic year ):. jocelyn and esther also joined us. so does kelvin. it becomes a huge group conversation. been quite sometime since i just chill out like that with c-blockers. really love them man! hope this continues. c-block really rocks.

i love my family!

anyway, that was a really great night to close an equally wonderful day. thanks for the loads of chat.
---

not to mention, i attended my first cheerleading practice. it was okay. fun in general as usual. i could remember why i like doing this. it's so fun okay! being base again after so long.
---

first time missed my tkd training due to pink and blue.
---

had nice beef horfun before sleeping. brendon got us beef horfun from geylang.
---

happy birthday chwansang (neighbour, hamster, chipmunk)!

the stage of my mind

2006-10-17T15:34:00.000+08:00

whey! how bout this song? lol! i forgot that this song existed. it's one of my all-time favourite Moffatts song (then).

Until You Loved Me
The Moffatts

Monday morning came too soon.
I think about you now
Layin' in my room.
Hearing everything you said.
I play it back
A hundred time in my head.
Then I slip into a dream.
The feelin' inside
Is ten stories high.

Never knew what love was
Until you loved me
Never knew what love was
Oh yeah.
'Cause it feels so good sometimes
And it feels so bad sometimes
The way you loved me, loved me
The way you loved me, loved me.

Friday's always on my mind.
I watch the rain come down
Think of how you shine.
Let it go or hang on tight.
Stay forever
Or stay for one more night.
Either way I feel the same thing for ya
The feelin' inside
Is ten stories high

Never knew what love was
Until you loved me
Never knew what love was
Oh yeah.
'Cause it feels so good sometimes
And it feels so bad sometimes
The way you loved me, loved me
The way you loved me, loved me.

You know that I want you
You know that I need you.

Never knew what love was
Until you loved me
Never knew what love was
Oh yeah.
'Cause it feels so good sometimes
And it feels so bad sometimes
The way you loved me, loved me
The way you loved me, loved me.

well anyway, today sucks! it just sucks! my chinese midterm is so crazily hard that i feel like fainting half way. at first, i didn't recognize more than half of the characters. only after constant head-banging and several frustrating moments did i manage to uncover more characters of my tiny, lousy, f.o.s. brain.

f.o.s., that's just so cherrie. that girl just so loved using f.o.s. last time. been what? 2 years since i last talked to that crazy gal. some recent comment from her blog:

sometimes. you do things that you dun want to. yet you cant control it.

how very apt.

anyway, i should be going to clem soon. need to really shop for tonight block cg. but i'm so exhausted now. actually, i always feel exhausted nowadays. no idea why. i have enough sleep, i guess. but there are so many things to do nowadays that even a full 24 hours a day will not help the least bit.
---

acting steady, always ready to defend your fears.

hmm. is that me? i guess so. i really need to change. and that change is coming in slowly but definitely. i already felt it. heh. now more busy. more astute to what's happening around me. less selfish.

somehow you moved point A to point B

of course there are some priorities i need to redo this time around. ivp takes utmost priority, along with infotech. then followed by touch rugby and cheerleading. ham, albeit receiving last priority is still manageable. i wonder, where are the rest of my priorities?

you're like a sleepwalking man, it's a danger to wake you

where's study to be exact? where is it? i guess it should top my priority for now. i feel so nutty and such a goner.

okay that's it. writing just make me more stressed up only. though oh well, at least, i'm looking forward for tonight. we'll be having bs on john 3 or john 4, can't remember exactly. plus being around your c-blockers are really soothing. thanks loads.

shiwei, julian, hasikin, yiling, cherlyn, esther, wenhao, lingxin, liwei, marc, deborah, shiyun, joshua, daniel, hanrong, lester.

there are so many of us. even if the whole university tries to bear down on us, we'll just survive. that's as much as i needed to know. thank God.

i'm really sprouting out not-so-sensical things right now. i don't see any links between each of the paragraphs that i've written. so unlike my other posts. i guess that's just the stage my mind is going through now.

see you then. i'm going to bathe then going to clem.

is it really that hard to ignore somebody that you like? oh, you haven't figured even half of it yet.

monday yellows

2006-10-17T00:59:00.000+08:00

have you ever had this constant lookout for things to say to her just because you want to see her and talk to her?
---

just had my foundation midterm this afternoon. damn fun! the question is so funny some time. and most of the time, you just need to crap out logical things since most of the things he asked are not in the notes anyway. lol. ah, and i watched the wrong video, so i couldn't answer the 4-mark question about the video. that's 10% up in flame. oh well. i don't even know what's iso 9000 all about. and those critical path method and pert. what the h is pert? pfft!
---

just came back from ld's birthday celebration with steppers at c-block rooftop. got cake, but oh well, i should be dieting, and the cake is ruining my diets.

i tell you, post-it is such a powerful tool, especially if you wanted to talk to a person like sw. doesn't have handphone, pager spoilt, only have phone in her room. so how to contact her when she's out? post-it notes! i better stock up on more post-it notes.

anyway, did manage to talk to her directly instead of through the post-it notes. in fact, just talked to her after the ld's celebration. mundane stuffs. like committee application, etc.

haven't gotten a gift for her birthday yet and it's only exactly two weeks away now. that book better get here fast enough man.
---

why yellow?

since yellow is such a bright and happy colour. suits my monday this time. but, at the same time, yellow also represents the colour of the sun. bringing to mind the scorching heat of mid-day sun. that's the same feeling i have today. scorched, tired. ah, also emotionally-burdened by certain things, especially that one thing that comes back to mind after a few weeks of successful ridding.

it's not so easy to rid oneself of that emotion.
---

Love
The Moffatts

The first time I saw you
You were walking down the beach at night
With the waves bowing down to you in the bright moonlight
Well it must have been a signal from up above
'cause deep in my heart I knew that it was love

[Chorus:]
And it turns me on
Like when the sun goes down
And the moon comes up
Sweet, sweet love, like no other man has been touched
By the simple process of love I wish there were a way
To show you my love is real
But Webster hasn't found the words
To express how I feel
Well just like a river needs the rain to flow
You've warmed a heart that once was cold, with your love
[Chorus(repeat twice)]

yeah, right. idealistic youths i must say. i used to like this band last time. the songs are not bad really. but then, i couldn't really follow the lyrics last time, owing to my poor english. now that i can listen and understand the lyrics perfectly, well, idealistic really comes to mind. it's good to be idealistic, but it doesn't really work in life apparently. at least most of the time.

i've got the feeling (sung by ivy) that i will by posting quite a bit of moffatts lyrics in the near future. i just managed to download the whole moffatts' first album (that is, the album that i like). so yeah. even now, i'm listening to a few of their songs already, and really recalling my early teenhood.

isn't it funny how time seems to slip away so fast?

laugh out loud (resigned over wasted years).
---

OH! forgot about the breaking news! i'm in touch rugby! first sports after 1 year in kr! wohoooo!

ain't good enough!

2006-10-15T22:42:00.000+08:00

have you ever liked somebody but you keep holding back because you think you aren't good enough for her?
---

That's Just What You Are
Aimee Mann

(one two)

In our endeavor we are never seeing eye to eye
No guts to sever so forever may we wave goodbye
And you're always telling me that it's my turn to move
When I wonder what could make the needle jump the groove
I won't fall for the oldest trick in the book
So don't sit there and think you're off of the hook
By saying there is no use changing 'cause

That's just what you are
That's just what you are

Acting steady always ready to defend your fears
What's the matter with the truth, did I offend your ears
By suggesting that a change might be a thing to try
Like it would kill you just to try and be a nicer guy
It's not like you would lose some critical piece
If somehow you moved point A to point B
Maintaining there is no point changing 'cause

That's just what you are
That's just what you are

Now I could talk to you till I'm blue in the face
But we still would arrive at the very same place
With you running around and me out of the race

-very cool keyboard (Mellotron?) solo- (lol)

So maybe you're right, nobody can take
Something older than time and hope you could make
It better, that would be a mistake
So take it just so far

'Cause that's just what you are
That's just what you are
That's just what you are

Acting steady always ready to defend your fears
What's the matter with the truth, did I offend your ears
You're like a sleepwalking man, it's a danger to wake you
Even when it is apparent where your actions will take you

That's just what you are
And that's just what you are
That's just what you are
That's just what you are
---

the lyrics writer is so funny. he added that line (in bold) in the song. and yeah, that part is really cool man! seriously. oh, this song is like being sang for me. blah. be a nicer guy. yeah, i should.
---

i just went to queensway with sean today. because some people in my block took (by accident i suppose) half pairs of socks from my laundry. sigh. and from my best socks mind you. the socks that i really like. the socks that i only used 3 times so far. the socks that i will use when i think i'll exercise a lot. sigh. my no-show, no-cushion, nike running socks. ): and i couldn't find the same socks anywhere. so i settled with nike-free (i supposed similar to no-cushion), no-show running socks, which is like a lot more expensive than my previous running socks. it's a pain to buy those two pairs of socks i tell you. i'll make sure that i won't wash these two socks in the laundry room. never. ever.

i also managed to get a nice t-shirt. jersey material, dri-fit. the design is freakin' cool man. with flight at the back and some crazily cool symbol, and zero-gravity in front.

sean got himself a pair of adidas trekking shoes. looks good. the funny thing is, it has this funny drainage system. where your sweat can literally flow down and exits the drains underneath (some wire gauze). so what if you stepped into a pool of water? will the direction of water reversed? i.e. up to your socks and your foot instead of down from your foot and your socks? lol. we'll see soon man!

got some badminton grips for esther. it's a rubber grips. don't know why she insisted on rubber grips. she thought it'd last longer. true. but it's slippery. at least for me. i think i have sweaty palms. lol. especially when i played badminton. and i got some cheap shuttlecocks to play with c-blocker. i feel pain if i used the expensive ones to play with them. haha. one time use and that's it. completely decimated.
---

well anyway, i'm a little sad. i had dinner with eric and wingken on friday night. shiwei joined us halfway and those two guys conveniently left us half way. that's not the sad part, just some background.

shiwei wanted to play badminton and asked me whether we can play on saturday morning. so i stupidly say that i'll find people and tell her later on. so a few c-blockers were playing badminton (and me) until about 1215 past midnight, while she was having krx rehearsal. when i reached back my room, i rushed to write a note for her to say that we can play badminton on saturday although i couldn't find people. i asked her to message me if she read this message. i left it on her door. but obviously she was already sleeping. like duh! 1215 is already well past her sleeping time, for goodness' sake. so we didn't manage to play.

today i went to visit her room for awhile. then she told me that she actually went to find me on saturday morning. she knocked on my door but i couldn't wake up because of the stupid dota game the night before (when we played until 4am). sigh. next time, no dota. not especially when you're in this kind of situation. well, it's over i guess. there's always next time. i hope. oh, and eric was gloating! because he told me to sleep early the night before. should have listened to him (first time i said this kind of things about eric, lol, usually it's suan all the time).

a little happy though, i saw my note pasted on her book cupboard. (:

rolling star

2006-10-13T21:36:00.000+08:00

rolling star by YUI

i'm impressed. this is seriously one of the best bleach op i've ever seen. you see that part with ichigo vs shirosaki? impressive. and that part of the song is arguably the best too. love the rhythm. i can't wait for the lyrics to be posted asap. lol. i tell you, that song has been playing for quite a few time now. superb, superb, superb. too bad i can't speak jap, otherwise i'd have sang it (and break a few eardrums on the way) loads and loads of time.

watch the youtube if you had the time. i really love it, although, if you don't do bleach (read the manga or watch the anime), it might be a little, erm, so so only kind of feeling.

anyway, i went for touch trial today. the second trial i went for this new academic year. failed badminton trial so this is my only chance to stay in hall. lol. and shiwei! wahlao, you got enough points already!? so sneaky. whey! d: pro leh that girl!

any c-blockers wants to play badminton tomorrow morning? since she wants to play but it's a bit tough to find people to play in the morning. lol.

ah, and later alvin and i going to play badminton too. lol, i'm getting much too sporty now. amazed with myself. blah! i think i'll really shed quite some fat in the next year. hehe. on target!

okay, still have loads of adrenaline flowing in my veins, shall not write too much. good luck to everyone who are still going for interview. i think i'm done with my interview already. plus interviewing 12 or 13 people yesterday, enough of interview experience for the year already. although i might still need to pull one more person for my other committee. ah yes, i think next round i'll still need to interview people. sigh. only managed to grab 6 people for this round of interview. 2 super zai people. the rest average no skill but looks like they have good working attitude, so hopefully we'll get by this year. i don't have much hope of finding super zai people next round, though that will be superb.

okay time's up, checking mpsh whether it's empty already. seeya (notice my english standard drop a lot after i played any sports ;)).

interview

2006-10-13T14:30:00.000+08:00

i manage my time properly.

yea, right.

which ass could have missed a midterm exam other than me? oh, out of ignorance btw. i didn't even know there was a midterm last week. pro, am i not? anyway, forget about it, i don't want to think about it anymore.
---

days went fine (other than midterm blues). i had a superb training on wednesday. my leg and all other parts of my body are aching like hell, even until today. i learned quite a bit as usual. had supper with the rest at fong seng. not bad. although now that i think about it, black pepper chicken noodle wasn't exactly the best thing to order. and it's expensive too.

yesterday was so, so. i managed to finish my project in time and submitted it. i think this one has quite a chance. then i rushed down for interview. blah! two hours wasted interviewing people, some of whom i really don't think can make it. but oh well. we had quite a bit of potentially good people although not the best i guess.

i still had a good laugh thinking at our conversation yesterday. while lead designer and vice-chairperson could easily be taken over by those two superb designers that we accepted yesterday night (or early this morning), the position of chairperson is more difficult. my chairperson told us that out of those coming for interview, the most eligible is yiling. and i choked. lol! damn funny i tell you! although, yeah, i wouldn't mind her as a chairperson truthfully. as long as she really try her best to learn as much as she can this year. ah, and our plan, my chairperson and i, we wanted to be demoted to programmers next year. yay! ah, and i still have to work on the system for a bit more. this committee application system is so damn fun!

we went out to sheares to eat after playing badminton yesterday night. ate sheares fried rice for the first time in don't know how long. so happy after that. went back and chatted with yiling, esther and josh for quite awhile. talked about sadistic games. lol!

well oh well, i just woke up. so yeah. i shall be cooking some instant noodles now. ciao.

learn to fly

2006-10-09T22:06:00.000+08:00

Learn To Fly
Foo Fighters

Run and tell all of the angels
This could take all night
Think I need a devil to help me get things right
Hook me up a new revolution
Cause this one is a lie
We sat around laughing and watched the last one die
I'm looking to the sky to save me
Looking for a sign of life
Looking for something to help me burn out bright
I'm looking for complication
Looking cause I'm tired of lying (trying)
Make my way back home when I learn to fly
I think I'm done nursing the patience
I can wait one night
I'd give it all away if you give me one last try
We'll live happily ever trapped if you just save my life
Run and tell the angels that everything is alright..
Fly along with me, I can't quite make it alone
Try and make this life my own
---

i think i just have some things against hall production.

got my track pants! so happy! yay!

lovely week

2006-10-09T04:35:00.000+08:00

oh boy i love this week soooo much i couldn't bear the thought of leaving it behind as the monday blues sinks in.

let me recall the highlights of the week. training was on last wednesday. had loads of fun improving my techniques. i figured that my reaction time has improved loads and loads (which was proven again today). we were counting down nervously towards the grading day then. lots of people were a little stressed up because of all the midterms and the grading. but it was cool. we had our kind of fun, distressing together.

then on thursday, i went out to orchard, planning to have a haircut. failed because i didn't make an appointment. that's the problem with deciding on things last minute. but then i decided that since i was already at orchard, i might as well go round and shop. well, i got this nice white reebok pique pants on discount. so yeah, aren't i a happy man? i managed to lay my hand on paulo cuelho's book, i think it was manual of the warrior of light, for my good friend. that's the book he always wanted for don't know how many months already. oh well. went back feeling so refreshed. it's like the first time i went out on my own, don't care about anyone else. don't care about hall.

friday was even better. i went out early in the morning to get my haircut (this time i was smart and get myself an appointment at 1130am). so i had my haircut and had my hair coloured and highlighted. so yeah, my first coloured and highlighted hair is brown with a tinge of goldeny bronxey colour (sorry can't describe the colour well). love it. and everyone noticed it. i didn't realise that the colour is quite, erm, noticeable. lol. ah, and of course i went around for awhile at raffles city. alone again. ahh, so happy.

went back and had badminton trial. went there just for the fun of it. it was, indeed, fun. i mean, badminton for me is just purely fun. that's when i realised that my reaction time had improved. not much of a realisation than a wondering why i was able to play better than usual. mind you, i'm no good at badminton.

well okay, then a string of dota games. three games in a row, won two. my sniper has become a hell lot better now. well that's good i guess. time to learn other hero soon.

saturday was another great great day. went for training as usual. quite relaxed since i wanted to conserve and prevent myself from getting any injury since sunday is grading. so yeah. the training was short as well, only slightly over an hour. but then we had mock grading after that. then a few of us went to toa payoh stadium to watch han seng's 4th dan grading. but we were late. lol. went there for so long and didn't manage to even get a glimpse of the black belt gradings. sigh. then the eight of us went to eat at sizzler. mind you, sizzler's ice cream (from the salad bar) sucks big time. it destroys my appetite towards ice cream completely that night. and mind you, i love ice cream, probably more than any other sweet things. i don't eat sweets, chocolates are okay but i'm not that fond of them, snack bars are fine but not my cup of tea. but ice cream? let's just don't say anything about it.

ah, and after sizzler, i rushed back to hwachong. omgwtf! i managed to drag myself to MAF! and how i won't ever regret that night. it's probably one of the biggest highlight this year. i really love the night. came in just in time to take a class photo with my class. then we went for sing-a-long with the rest of the alumnis and the students, led by the thirty-third sc. wow, it's been three years. 33rd sc. hm. well, my class managed to stay until the third dance, which is the first mass dance (oh we've moved on to the dance session). then they gave up. so i went around and find my thirtieth. found them, and benjy conveniently paired me with huishan, from thirty-first. i had completely forgotten her name then s: (whoops! thanks eunice for telling me her name so loud!). well, had a real great few dances with her. i can't believe i can still remember bits and pieces of the dance. and huishan was great too. we had a really lovely night, all of us.

then the twenty-seventh was shouting gathering councillors batch by batch to take one whole big council family photos. wow twenty-fourth, twenty-seventh, twenty-eight, twenty-ninth, thirtieth, thirty-first, thirty-second and thirty-third. we were really one big family. and i saw manting, of the twenty-eight, too. she was my senior in kr, in my block. but she had left. ah, and xin'en of the twenty-seventh, also my senior before in c-block, wasn't there. she is overseas working for a year. ):

from my batch there was benjy, ningqi, boxing, chorming, weifang, guoqing & xuhan (the pair), wenyuan, pearline (of e-block), bean, jingyi, yifong, ziqiang, and a few more. from the thirty-first (my junior) we had eunice (welco chair, go welco!), huishan, irene wong and the other irene (i think both living at kevii now), richmond (the pubco head), the s6 fac head (the only girl fac head then), and that's all i guess. this batch wasn't very united i heard. oh well.

we had some fun bargaining for coconuts (we always have coconut for street market, i can't explain our fondness towards coconut, must be the fun the guys got when they got the chance to chop the coconut into half when we finished drinking them. not bad, irene and i got 1 free coconut for ourselves. and i had 2 mooncakes for $2. and they aren't bad, i tried one already.

went on disturbing welco room. this 33rd girl, genesis (as in the first book of the Bible), keep pestering me to buy athena shirt. lol. apparently my class now falls under artemis. and she faked me through. lucky mr remedios was there to tell me that my class is under artemis now. lol. i love the artemis design. and seriously, apollo design is probably the worst of the lot man. it's so ugly i can throw up. anyway, athena shirt wasn't bad either, but they don't have my size, only have s and xs (what the hell!). so yea, too bad. i should have bought the orientation t-shirt though. it's not bad really. but it's white! artemis shirt is blue. just the colour that i love.

had a little more fun afterwards and went back to hall. sigh. thanks councillors. you all brightened up my night then. it was already bright, you made it shine and explodes like a fireworks.

back in hall, i frantically looked for iron to iron my gi. at the end i managed to borrow jiahui's iron. took me half an hour to iron the gi properly. oh well, ended up sleeping at 2am in the morning.

woke up early when my alarm clock rang at 730am. the first time i could actually wake up in time. wow. completely wow! then ate chilli crab noodles and mango yoghurt that i bought the night before from fong seng's 7-11. prepared myself and left by myself to toa payoh mrt. met with the rest there. went together to toa payoh stadium. we're probably one of the very few group of all adults. i think only nus, ntu and smu were all-adult groups. there were so many small kids there. reminded me of myself when i started in primary 6. i was probably like them. having difficulties doing patterns correctly. having problems even remembering the patterns. they were really cute though. haha! a lot of our girls are paedophiles.

we had our gradings. it was okay. nothing much to say. highlight was this small girl who's a brown belt. she's in the previous group before nus for our station. and she's really good. you can see her kicks and everything are really great. during the sparring, you can watch her doing jumping apchagi, backthrust and all sort of difficult kicks that people rarely executed. well, rarely if you're just a sec 1 or sec 2 (that's my guess though, she might be a jc girl, although i completely don't think she's older than sec 2). anyway, that was really impressive, really spur me to work harder. plus i'm repeating from white belt. and i promised myself that this time, i'll really focus on my techniques rather than just having fun learning how to kick and all. let's see my grading result two weeks from now. i was really hoping to get a double although the chance is not that great. and a double is really not such a big deal. i mean, as long as you work as hard as you could, a double or not doesn't really matter much, does it? it might boost your confidence, but then what? no worry, i'll be really happy if i got a double, but i won't be crying over just a pass. i'll just train harder and harder.

and ivp, here i come! lol! i really want to try pattern team for ivp. i hope i'll make it there.

after that a few of us went to eat (actually it's always the same few people). so funny. yesterday was sir and chris (1 couple), hanseng and yuyun (1 couple) and 4 lightbulbs. but it was like all the guys on one side and all the girls on another side. so we were like having speed dating. haha! omg! my brain is so full of crap now. today is like the first two couple plus hamzah and siwei (1 couple) and again denise, me and cumarran were like lightbulbs again. lol.

then sir, chris, denise and i went to vivo city. not bad lar. big but empty now. maybe once the shops are all open it'll be a really great place, but not now for sure. heh. that's when i had another crappy thought. i told denise that we look like one family. lol! sir and chris are like the parents and we're like the kids. i couldn't stop laughing for the next few minutes. people must have thought that i went mad. blah!

i saw this great track pants that i really want to get. but it's so damn expensive. $45! wth! i'll think about it man. maybe i can get it cheaper at queensway or what. but it's really nice. shiny and stretchy. just the kind that i still don't have. heh. i need a new jeans too. my current one is so goddamn big now. that's because i shrunk 5kg since a month and a half ago. good deal huh, my weight loss programme? hahah! i didn't even cut down on any single meals! lol.

reached back hall at 6 plus after shopping for awhile. had dinner with c-blockers. been having more and more dinner with them recently. i guess this is how it feels as seniors. it's so much easier to just go down and have dinner with them than last year, when i was just a plain freshie. well, anyway, i went to sleep after that, with a plan to do essay when i woke up. i woke up at 1145pm. and then alvin asked me to play badminton!!! how can i refuse man! so we played. that's when i really realised that my reaction time has really improved. i mean, just now, sometime i didn't even think and my hand just move accordingly. it's like magic. i didn't know i can do it anymore. but it's a great feeling. and my footwork is like amazing as compared to a month or two ago. really tkd is improving every aspects of my life. my strides, my footwork, my lightness of movement, my reaction time, my arm strength, my stamina, it's literally everything that i really need physically.

at first played with yiling against daniel and lijin, the drunk girl. lol. that a-blocker was really drunk man. but she's good. her standard is higher than average. then i played with lijin against yiling and kristy. this one is pretty slack although i had a bad racket and kristy had my good racket. oh well. then kristy was replaced by eric. that's when my fun began, i really killed him down then. all my revenge was concentrated in one game. haha! although it's a bit unfair. he can't run too much today. well, next time i'm still going to beat you down eric! d:

ah, and then i watched season 7 first two episodes of gilmore girls. lol! and now i'm blogging. after this i'll be doing my dreaded essay. heh! this is so terrible. well, okay. that's it i guess. i shall come back to my essay and studying for tomorrow's chinese quiz.

signing off at 530am.

and let me reiterate again, i so love this week i dreaded leaving it behind. sigh.

and my friend is right, when you're happy you don't have the crazy urge to blog anymore. that must have explain my one week missing from blogging. and since i'm a little stress up now because of my essay, i come back blogging. heh. kelly, you're so damn right!

committee application system

2006-10-02T14:00:00.000+08:00

CAN'T I BE LESS BUSY!?

wah, damn ass! i've been doing this hall activities management framework in the past 2 days, having not enough sleep and all. it's driving me mad. although, yeah, the results are pretty great. the admin system is working so smooth i don't think i need to tweak it at all. first time i use crazily done sql query. sql query with sub queries. sql query with many, many inner joins and left outer joins. datagrids everywhere. i just hope that the committee application itself works smoothly.

bah, this morning, i wanted to post some blog post (which apparently would have consist of a single line), but couldn't login to blogger beta. lol. disappointed. but ended up posting a much longer post right now.

sniper build

2006-09-29T19:49:00.000+08:00

i have to blog this! won 2 games with this new build of mine. and yesterday's game was exceptionally good.

hero: sniper

skill build:
Level 1 - Take Aim
Level 2 - Headshot
Level 3 - Headshot
Level 4 - Take Aim
Level 5 - Headshot
Level 6 - Assassinate
Level 7 - Headshot
Level 8 - Take Aim
Level 9 - Take Aim
Level 10 - Stats
Level 11 - Assassinate
Level 12-15 - Stats
Level 16 - Assassinate
Level 17-21 - Stats
Level 22-25 - Scattershot

item build:
ring of regen, 2 ironwood branches
boots of speed, ogre axe, belt of giant strength -> sange (mix them up)
gloves of haste -> power treads
blade of alacrity, boots of elvenskin -> yasha
sange & yasha
(meanwhile, headress of rejuvenation somewhere will be great. getting a chainmail and then netherezeim buckler is also good when i think i can keep going to farm without dying -> mekansm, also good for team pushes.)
eaglehorn (this one first)
quarterstaff -> butterfly
(if somehow the game doesn't end by now, go for burize, most of the time, you'll only manage crystalis, but who knows? lol.)

for the first few levels, try to deny like hell. seriously deny like hell and try to get all the last hits. it's really possible, it's all about timing and practise. lol. yesterday i managed to get 50% last hits on the first few levels and quite a good deny rate. choose last hits over deny when the choice isn't obvious (both super reds). try to be around during ganking, sniper's headshot is really valuable. and early level assassinate is the bomb. it's literally a one hit kill for those running away hero.

ah, and please, when fighting invi heroes, get wards! sniper can farm damn well, so get wards to help yourself. seriously, nobody will buy wards while it's a really useful item. always carry at least 1 with you when you're facing bone or gondar or sa. during a gank with your allies, if you suspect that they are around (the backstab damage, or if they bought items like radiance, etc where the effects are shown on other units), drop one wards, get your ally stunner to stun him and everyone hits him. nobody can survive that.

if you are forced too, go for scattershot. for example, if your team is definitely on a losing end. scattershot could wipe out a whole creep wave, really good when the opponents are pushing into your base. but always prefer other skills (including stats) to scattershot.
---

okay, back to committee application then. have fun, while i slog with committee application (i'm calling it hall activities management framework now, HAMF).

song: just me, thurston moore

a night of my life

2006-09-28T03:45:00.000+08:00

can you believe the nuts in me? first, i woke up late wednesday afternoon, realising that i missed my project group meeting and was late for my second meeting as well. the 2nd meeting lasted hours after hours. so i was pretty damn tired by 6pm. plus i hadn't had enough sleep the night before (even after waking up late, i slept at 6am).

then i went for training. apparently my tiredness works like a drug or what. i just felt like kicking super hard. by the end of the training i was a walking water fountain. i left a wake of sweat on the floor as i walked around, that's how bad it was. impressed? lol. trained all the way from 730pm to 1030pm. was freakin' tired by the end of it.

when i reached hall, the c-blockers were playing badminton!! obviously i joined them (if there were any sports i am willing to do on my own free will, it is badminton and tkd). played all the way till 1am. by then my leg was freakin' tired already. it's hurting as well. i couldn't lift my left leg passed my waist. it was that bad. sigh.

then we went suaning jl at lounge over big josh. there were some pillow fights too. and paperball fights. fn was about to kill me with the hard pillow. lol. and jl was throwing paperballs at all of us since we kept talking about big josh.

when i reached my room, immediately, dota rang out. they only needed 1 player, so i joined them and played. played damn well today, reached all my items target. first time playing sniper with meka, didn't help much since i always forget i had meka. anyway s&y, treads, meka, butterfly, mkb. superb build. was killing like nobody's business at the end of the game. caught up on number of kills made. ended up third, my best score so far. and probably the only time i ended up with level 25 hero at the end of the game. yeah, yeah, i'm pretty lousy. and sniper is my best hero. lol.

okay, signing out. got meeting tomorrow at 9am. sigh.

sunset swirl redesigned

2006-09-25T22:33:00.000+08:00

when you are not in a good mood, put all those anger energy into useful work.

and in my case, check out my two most useful works in the past two hours:

sunset swirl redesigned (as you can see it yourself d:)!

and another blog, a group blog, also redesigned.

downright pissed

2006-09-25T19:52:00.000+08:00

You Get Me
Michelle Branch

So I'm a little left of center
I'm a little out of tune
Some say I'm paranormal
So I just bend their spoon
Who wants to be ordinary
In a crazy, mixed-up world
I don't care what they're sayin'
As long as I'm your girl

Hey, you are on my side
And they, they just roll their eyes

You get me
When nobody understands
You come and take the chance, baby
You get me
You look inside my wild mind
Never knowing what you'll find
And still you want me all the time
Yeah, you do
Yeah, you get me

So what if I see the sunshine
In the pouring rain
Some people think I'm crazy
But you say it's okay
You've seen my secret garden
Where all of my flowers grow
In my imagination
Anything goes

I, I am all you want
They, they just read me wrong

You get me
When nobody understands
You come and hold my hand, baby
You get me
You look inside my wild mind
Never knowing what you'll find
Still you want me all the time
Yeah, you do
'Cause you get me

Hey, you are on my side
They, they just roll their eyes
Yeah, yeah, yeah

'Cause you get me
When nobody understands
You come and take the chance, baby
You get me
When none of the pieces fit
You make sense of it
You get me
You look inside my wild mind
Never knowing what you'll find
And still I want you all the time
Yeah, I do
'Cause you get me
Yeah, oh, yeah, oh

*** warning: full of expletives and other sort of not nice things
i really hate certain people. you suan for the fun of you and your suaning target. but not until you hurt the other person so much. you make it clear that you're joking. you make sure that everyone knows you're joking. you make sure that the person you suan are willing to be suaned. that's what i called 'suaning ethics'. but certain people are just there to hurt you by suaning you. sorry, i have no place for this kind of 'friend'. too bad that i'm very selective. so don't even bother trying to talk to me anymore. just do your work, do your study, and don't ever bother to disturb me. there are lots of other people you can disturb. so yeah! disturb the girls all you like, disturb the other guys, just stay away from me. and i'm hell serious asshole. i wish you'd read this jerk. i really wish that. needs a reminder of which one? the one that i almost exploded in the dining hall. you're freakin' lucky i could hold back. ah, i guess you're just too insensitive. good luck then. i wonder how they employ you. must be your technical skills. you certainly lack all kind of people skills. yes you. and you wanted to be entrepreneur? you are going noc? oh great! go noc, and leave c-block. don't bother coming back. the world is going to be a lot better then. and we could have somebody new and fresh in our floor. not like you.

oh, and what solidarity? you (another you) are also such a weak bitch. sorry man. i'm sorry i helped you before. the next time you needed help, find somebody else please. you knew i wasn't happy and you still needed to be so weak as to just agree with whatever he says. he's a senior doesn't mean he has control. sorry. i thought you aren't bad. but you are just the same like everybody else nonetheless. who cares anymore? me? yes, i care. but not for long. i'll forget about the two of you soon enough, no worries.
***

sorry for all the rubbish. i wasn't really in good mood in the first place. so, too bad you stoke up the fire. i'm sure somebody will wonder which 'you' and 'you' am i talking about.

anyway, uneventful day. played dota till early morning. and slept the rest of the day. blah. it's a sad life really, but i love it (:. oh, and i did train yesterday, surprisingly. i actually went to src to train alone! wow! there must be first time for everything i guess. felt so good afterwards that i treated myself to chocolate milk from cheers. finished like half of the one litre cartoon right after training. and since i was training alone, i devised some ingenuous method of training. i just throw a target and hit it. it works really. i can even see that some of my techniques are wrong just by looking at the direction the target flew after i hit it. i know my 45degree is correct since the stupid target always fly 45degree up and hit the roof. damn cool lar. and i know that my roundhouse sucks like shit since i never even able to hit the target once. no i did hit it a few times, only to hurt myself. blah! i could feel how heavy my body was yesterday. shall train some more until it feels lighter. it has to feel lighter sooner or later, right? yes, it'll, so says kok, so says chris, so says denise, so says everyone i knows. so i'll just trust them. they are after all my seniors. and they are after all damn good.

ah, and chris is 4th dan. wahlao! no wonder she's like super pro! and seng is 3th dan! holy shit! these two are really crazy! i feel lucky to be training under the two of them all these while. not to mention that we finally got the chance to train under sir last sat. sir is 5th dan. oh, and the training, shiok arh! almost couldn't feel anything afterwards. so this is the real thing. thank God i dared myself to try. my target now, teamNUS. and i'll make sure i'll make it there man. at least for the poomsae team. after poomsae, i'll try for fighter the next year. it's a dream i know, but a dream worth achieving nevertheless.

some people think i'm crazy

maybe i am.

training madness

2006-09-24T12:27:00.000+08:00

i suppose i should write about yesterday. well, after i finished writing yesterday's entry, i went to bathe and then on to training. reached the place at 2, did some warm up and stretching then start practising with a few people. training proper starts at 230 and it was hell. yesterday, the main instructor took our class and we're like doing all sorts of things that really just drains us of water. seriously, all of us sweat like crazy. pain everywhere, losing our breaths, losing strength, etc. it was damn shiok. and that was just the warming up. the main training itself is quite bad. we're so tired halfway through the training that most of us just anyhow do what we were supposed to do. that's how bad it was. no need to think about techniques or whatnot already, just throw in everything you had into the training. lucky the main training was short enough, otherwise, i think all of us will just die.

well anyway, i think it ended at about 415 or 430. then some of us stayed back to train some more. we just trained and trained and trained. learned quite a bit of things yesterday also. i learned how to put my all into one swift movement. something that i already forgot how to do. the result? explosive attack. completely crazy. obviously i sustained some minor injuries also as a result. bleeding here and there. pain here and there. but well that's common, isn't it?

we finished at about 615. then we went to bathe and change. then dinner. went to tiong bahru's steamboat. wasn't bad really. i had some fun there. sir, chris, kok, denise, py, yy, han, and gwen were there also. after that the seven of them, excluding py and me, went to watch some movie. the two of us had to go back though. anyway i was so freakin' tired that i was pretty sure that i was going to sleep my way off the show if i went to watch the show. oh well.

reached home at about 10 plus. again this is the longest time i've spent training. from 2 to 6 plus. that's over four hours. madness! but really love the feeling. it felt as if i went back in time to the time i was in primary six and sec one. then, i practised like mad as well. losing a lot of weight along the way, gaining a lot of speed, flexibility and power also. in fact, then, my explosive attack is much better than it is now. i should be ashamed of myself. i can do a reverse spin attack and 360 attack with the same power as basic attacks. those two attacks are a lot more difficult than all the basic attacks. (granted 360 and reverse spin was my favourite.) well, all right, i guess i just need to practise more often now. yeah. practice make perfect. and for me, i'm going to make sure that i can improve my tehniques many, many folds by the end of the year (not academic year, i mean this year). by the end of the academic year, i should have the power as well.

heh. then i should practise a bit now. yeah, i think i will. okay. seeya.

random rants

2006-09-23T12:21:00.000+08:00

today i'm going to go training early and train myself up. i'm getting sian of my saturday already, even though i just woke up. been experimenting with chinese writing software here. quite exciting really. i mean i've never write any chinese before this semester, so to be able to write using both hands and computer this semester feels great really. although i still don't understand what people are talking about, i'm improving.

let's see... what words have i learned this week?

买卖边东西南北背喜欢
画家海洋张些贵便宜要
多少钱块毛分共几笔支

not bad huh? 30 characters! just don't ask me what's their meaning yet. i'm still quite blur. i think i'm the blurrest in the class now. sadly. well, i don't plan to S/U this module, so i've to get at least a B+. an A would be great though.

this term break, i'm going to study, study, study. i think i'm really, really lagging behind. i mean, what's the point of taking chinese when you are not bothered to practise it. such a waste of mcs there.

anyway, i just realised that my 姐姐 happens to be a friend of my classmate. wth? so after a year plus of not getting to talk to my jie, my classmate suddenly added me in msn and told me that she realised i'm who i am. so she told me that my jie always told her that the two of us look similar. i'm like, 'what?' hey, that's an insult to yourself leh. oh, she's very pretty, btw. so unlike me, that's why. so my classmate gave me her msn. finally arh, you learned to use msn.

talking about msn, i went online in my previous msn account a few days ago. the msn account that i've abandoned for almost a year also. i chatted with my ex-angel (as in angel mortal game's angel). those were the days that i still wrote letters for angel mortal. those were the carefree jc days. anyway, congrats 'fallen angel' (now you know the meaning of the title of a few posts before this), for making it into dentistry. and congrats for making it 20 months with him. lucky you never listened to any of your friends that time. hey, at least you made me proud of my advice. anyway, this year's dance supper was themed 'goth' (not that i'm in dance), really reminded me of you angel. always dressed up in goth. and then you tell me i'm scary because i'm reading bleach (which she thought is scary, especially all the hollow masks and what-not, she's a manga fan). hey, i think you're scarier lar!

i feel so guilty. my mortal now calls me angel, although i never wrote to her that much. i'm sorry mortal. i didn't know i was supposed to be your 'on' mortal. i thought i was the 'off' one. i promise i'll get you something next week. thanks for being so nice mortal.

and i think i'm pretty lucky to have gotten such a nice junior in my block. hey. i already promise i'll help you, so if you need my help just msn me. java is my cup of tea, don't worry so much, you'll be pro at the end of this academic year. these sisters are really great. they are probably the best sisters i've ever seen. (guess which one am i talking about?) ah snap, snap, snap, snap! i hate marc! he's damn good at snap! and 大ling, you're damn good at snap too! i felt like a loser only getting one word while they like getting five to ten words. from now on the two sisters are going to be 大ling and 小ling. i think pretty easy to guess who already huh?
---

sometime i missed going, but what to do. sigh.

I Give
City Harvest Church

Come and fill me Holy Spirit
I seek the warmth of Your embrace
Lord I'm longing for Your presence
Just one touch of Your grace
I'll keep on waiting, waiting on You

All my life I've searched for heaven
My heart it longs for so much more
A love so true, now I've found it in You
I'll keep on waiting, waiting on You

Lord I give my life
A living sacrifice I place at Your feet
I offer to You
For only You can satisfy my longing
Jesus You're all I desire

Lord I give my life
A living sacrifice I place at Your feet
More than what this world offers
You are my only treasure
My world means nothing without You

Bridge:
My world means nothing without You
My world means nothing without You

hey, you make me stayed up until so late again! i'm impressed! so, you're officially in my msn talking list, which like consists of less than ten people. wow! i think i'm improving by the day. i mean in term of talking in msn. just over half a year ago, i almost completely stopped chatting online. now i'm back slowly. (: like for example, i've been talking to my states' friend for quite awhile now. we've been working on the same things for quite awhile as well. and today is our algo round 1 qual. good luck man!

okay, eat then go training. seeya.

fin.

2006-09-23T02:51:00.000+08:00

ahh. finished. over. fin. ende. τελειώστε. rivestimento. 終わり. 끝. 结束. selesai.

that's it! i've finished my qualification rounds. three full weeks of slogging and it's finally over! blah! i'm so happy. and so lazy to blog as well. sorry guys. i've got better things to do! d: just kidding. actually i don't have better things to do. been thinking of what to do over the weekend and holiday. apparently the only thing i'm looking forward to is training tomorrow. yay! train again! i tell you, university life, where got time to think about girls? no time lar! (you can tell, i'm getting crazy.)

anyway, just walked all the way to cheers and back just to buy instant noodles. now you tell me. i'm nuts, aren't i? oh, and we played snap at c-block lounge before that. and i woke up at 7pm, late for formal dinner, came in half way through, just in time to do standing ovation for skg and brendon. took photos with c-blockers, the first in don't know how many weeks.

a game to make you addicted: TONTIE! it's nutty. and shitty passed level 10. i can't even go through passed level 13. sigh.

okay, i guess that's as much update as i'm willing to write right now. disappointed. i thought my friend just got a guy. apparently not. damn. oh well, nvm. still got another gossip deb-ian (the first 3 letters are the first 3 letters of the girl and the last 3 is the last 3 letters of the guy). talking about debian, it's been a month since i stepped into debian.

ah, and of course song time! it's a milestone i tell you! i post chinese song! there must be first time for everything right? this is the first time for chinese song (granted i think i posted one before, but that's like pretty long time ago).

会有那么一天
林俊杰

一九四三世界大战
阿嬷年轻的时候
爷爷爱他那么多
他们感情很深
但是爷爷身负重任
就在离乡的那夜
给了阿嬷一个吻
轻声说到
我要离去别再哭泣
不要伤心请你相信我
要等待我的爱
陪你永不离开
因为会有那么一天
我们牵著手在草原
听鸟儿歌唱的声音
听我说声我爱你

夕阳西下鸟儿回家
阿嬷躺在病床上
呼吸有一点散漫
眼神却很温柔
看著爷爷湿透的眼
握著他粗糙的手
阿嬷的泪水开始流
轻声说道

pinyin for the bolded part:
wǒ men qiān zhù shǒu zài cǎo yuán
tīng niǎo ér gē chàng de shēng yīn
tīng wǒ shuō shēng wǒ ài nǐ

don't complain okay! i don't speak chinese! so it's tough even to get that part there. blah! it's just that i feel for those people who can't read hanzi, like me. blah!

first first

2006-09-19T21:42:00.000+08:00

today: another milestone. i got my first first placing for my competition. it's pretty scary, because the three main competitors' scores are all very closely spaced (i think). i'm a grey, rated 801 and the other two are blues, rated between 1200-1499. so i must be pretty damn lucky to win against them. it's very scary.

that means i should somehow celebrate. maybe next week, after i finished the whole competition. ah, the 10 points from this competition will bring me into top fifteen for the main competition. i need another 17 points at least to bring myself to top 8 and a ticket to the states.

okay. let's don't talk and just do. seeya in two days time (thursday 9pm is the deadline of my final competition).

these are the days

2006-09-19T17:21:00.000+08:00

What would Michelangelo say
Would he still have sculpted David
Would we be immortalized in clay
Would the poets write of love like ours
Would John Donne have his say

for a person who has been stuck the whole day in his room, working his arse off, he's pretty lucky to have come down at the right time. albeit, only for awhile, the amount of life infused back to him was tremendous. though he's still lazy enough not to go for handball, he thought that he'll survive tonight.

it's good to see people who have a life. i think life flows by osmosis, you know? not seeing people for 24 hours have made me deluded. thank you.

two more days and counting down fast. God helps me.

p.s. i can't believe those few songs are still playing on repeat from my iTunes. it's been days already!

c-ing stars . . .

fallen angel

2006-09-17T21:16:00.000+08:00

Your Life Path Number is 5

Your purpose in life is to live freely and collect experiences.

You love life - new adventures, new people, new ideas.
You are very curious, and you crave novelty in all forms.
You tend to make friends easily, and you enjoy the company of all types of people.

In love, you are fun and even a bit intoxicating. But you won't stick around for long.
You are impulsive and spontaneous - which sometimes leads you to do things you regret.
Sometimes you can be overindulgent with food, sex, or drugs.

You have many talents, so many that you are often scattered and unfocused.

What Is Your Life Path Number?

how true. not really, but about 70% is true. up to you to decide which ones though. ;)

i feel empty. but i don't feel like attending seniors' meeting today. i guess i'm going to sleep. i'm seriously tired right now. a little dizzy too. i'm sorry guys. i'll just wait and figure out who are going to run for senior blockcommers later. some other day perhaps.

to bed . . .

I had a dream that i
was falling from the sky
At 90 miles an hour
I was bound to crash and die

it's still playing in my head. doesn't stop. won't stop. it's always a wonder to witness people in love, isn't it? all the signs of their lives are geared towards love. from the association you have with certain people, to your blog entry, to your msn signatures, to rumours that fly around you (and that special someone). i just found out that somebody likes somebody today. suspected, yes. but not until i read the proof for myself in writing by that person herself. (note the wording, it's 'like' not 'love', i just find synonym for what the person actually wrote in her blog, and love wasn't one of them, unfortunately, so i shall not assume.) ah, should send her that image i saw yesterday. pretty damn cool image of a blackboard with a love sign and an arrow. unfortunately you have to pay to get the full-sized picture. i may as well do it myself man. only need a camera, a blackboard and chalk. i believe my secondary school still had blackboard. no, even my jc also have blackboard i think.

omg, i can't sleep already. was just try to see whether my sec sch website is accessible. and it is! and i can't stop reading. it's so lame! wth! oh, i can't cut and paste most of it because it's in flash.

okay, here is an FAQ number 2 to a newly launched programme (similar to ip). let's called my school A okay?

2. Why are you implementing this new programme? (Is it because A had lost ground to the IP schools?)

Given its many strengths and weaknesses, A has always been a school of choice for the Catholic community and beyond. The fact that EDB has invited A to set up an international school reflects the recognition accorded to an A education. However, A needs to look ahead and consider how it can remain relevant to the needs of our young as well as faithful to its mission. We want to better prepare our young people for the rapidly changing and globalising world. The programme is a carefully thought out and comprehensive response to the challenges ahead.

i guess that whole chunks simply meant, okay, they got ip, we need something else to make us look good, so let's come out with a fancifully-named programme. oh, yes, the name of the programme is quite fanciful. in fact, i like it! :D

WTH! this one is outrageous!

16. Is A turning co-ed? Why is it not when you are prepared to make the [int'l school] co-ed?

A will remain an all-boys school . . . (lot's of junk here) . . . If [int'l school] is successful as a co-ed school, who knows, A may also turn co-ed in the future.

hey, do you find that contradictory? 'will remain' follows by 'may also turn' co-ed. make up your mind. seriously, A as co-ed? outrageous! some of us were still derailed when we heard that the old boys' association is buying IJ(TP)--not sure whether true or not, it's just rumours. and then we heard that some of the IJ(TP) girls actually went to A for some classes, and vice versa. hey, hey, i know that some of you old boys (the really old ones) are married to IJ(TP) girls (who are also very old now). but then again, turning A into co-ed? i have nothing against IJ(TP), seriously, i'll make that clear first. working together is fine, since both are catholic schools anyway. my previous secondary school and primary school was a christian school as well, and did quite a lot of work-along with other christian schools. but A had been great because it was all-boys! we had our fun. the kind of fun that won't be possible with girls around. seriously, poling and stripping is R(A) and not suitable for girls between 12-16.

oh, and i'm scared for the sec 1, sec 2 students. i just figured about the CX (Computer Science) programme. all sec 1 and sec 2 are to enroll in this:

Sec 2 CX Syllabus
Basic Networking
'C' Programming Language
Robotics

i think they just gonna die! C!? hello!? you ask a engin year 1 undergraduate whether they can do C programming well? nay! very few can give a straight yes answer. and you are teaching C to what? 13 year olds?

oh, i was almost happy. i thought Bro Mike is the new principal. but he isn't yet. never mind. soon i guess. after this principal retires (still the same principal as mine last time), i'm pretty sure Bro Mike is going to take over. it's really not looking good. it's a catholic school all right, but the number of Brothers are like 2 or 3 only. ah, and of course, the infamous Bro Paul Rogers are now at CJC. how lovely. CJC is really climbing up the ladders now. he's a real good principal. very strict though.

really good reminiscing about sec school days, when no worries seem big enough to shake you from your onward march, to collide heads on with adulthood. no, my association wasn't with the brightest, like when i was in hc. it was so much more fun when you've friends from crescent, st pat's, st nicks, ij tp, ah, and less fun, scgs. well, anyway, it's been great spending some years in A. the reason why i'm a little unhappy right now is how the school is turning in the past few years. my class was a darned united group of ordinaries, extraordinary in the things we do. but now, it's turned into a group of posers and smarties (either you look like nerds, or you look like acs guys). the very group of people that we hated. oh yes, boys schools rivalries were strong too. we don't like chinese high boys (and they don't like us too, ah, old days, before hc, changed all my perspective then), we though ri boys are a bunch of smart asses (hey, give us a break, we were very young then, no worry, you aren't that bad after all ;)). above all, we hated acsi boys. oh yes, still do, btw. if you were just in acsi for 4 years, that's fine. if you were in acjc for 2 years, that's fine too. the worst of the bunch is the 6 years straight acs education. hahaha! like roy, right roy? just kidding, you are one good friend, although still poser! d:

ah, the good old days of mixing up with all the malays and indians. my class were like half chinese only. we had fun making fun of each other. we had fun with all the racist jokes. sigh. reminded me of the fact so bluntly pointed out by our malay physics teacher at the end of sec 4 (our lovely physics teacher). 'here, you all can make all sort of racist jokes and everyone laughs with you. but after this, when you go to jc and beyond, don't do it anymore. not everyone is as open as you guys.' which is so damn true. well, of course some people are really too much, posting hate racist messages in their own blogs. we did it for the fun of it. for bonding too.

and yes, next year, some of them are going to join us in nus. hope against hope some of my classmates will stay in kr.

hey, to all the schools i meantioned earlier, don't take any offense if i sort of attack you in any way okay? i seriously don't have any problems with you all. we are all adults right now. let all those things that happen in the past become jokes today.

oh, and i remembered taking RME A class with one of the nicest teacher around. hmm. RME A. why did i take RME A? i should be in RME B. A is for Catholics and B is for non-Catholics. A students must only go for A whereas B students can go for A or B. a few of us B students went to follow RME A. it's quite fun really. except for that gross video of abortions (yeah, i think every schools ended up playing abortion videos at one point or another).

cca was fun too. i had a 3 months active/9 months slack cca cycle. the 3 months are really crazy. everyday, we'd go to ngeann poly to work on our stuffs. that was sec 3 of course. we got better equipments in sec 4. it was fun when you have no leadership requires out of you. really, being geek is really much more fun than leading a bunch of people around.

history class was the bomb! with Miss Lee Siew Lian around. wahlao! she's best lar! you can't find a dirtier teacher than her around. well, dirty for sec sch standard of course. in fact, you don't find anyone as outrageous as her nowadays. sigh. then of course there was Miss Ong, my form tutor. she really loved teaching boys. but in the end, she fell out with our principal due to her liberal teaching principles (she didn't really follow O level course, but she really taught us much more useful things that exam smartness). she shifted to nanyang girls after we graduated. Mr Sirhan, lagi best. dirty plus funny plus love balls (as all physics teachers do, apparently) plus everything you'd want from your teacher. then Mr Chandra, the best chem tutor around. always taught us to do things our way and not follow instructions all the time. unfortunately for the juniors, he had retired now. of course, we had the super conservative, NCC officer maths tutor, Ms Ng (yes, a lady. it's uncommon for NCC officer, but she is anyway). her teaching is very, very, very syllabus-oriented. very strict too. but nevertheless, after two years, we really thought it wasn't that bad after all. she could be fun at times (read: very rarely).

let me try to recall the name of my ex-classmates. let's see. sean (of course, how can i not remember), adrian (the nus rock-climbers), gary (NS, was in SAJC, too smart and short for his own good), vicky (NS, was in RJ, national discus thrower), ignatius (my next seat neighbour, in NS now, was in NJ), derwin (NS also, was in NJ, i'll always remember you man d:), kenneth (NS, don't really know where he was), nonis (NS, was in RJ, super fast runner), santhosh (lovely guy, presumably in NS, gave me The Little Prince as our parting gift cum birthday present), wilson (malaysian, NTU now), kelvin tan (i posted some bits of news about him, bad egg in the class, was in VJ, then SMU, luckily), jeffrey (NUS, staying at PGP now), edwin (my ex-roommate in jc, from NJ, then NTU, really nice bastard d:), omar (in NS i presume, was in CJC), hanis (super nice guy, but really lost contact with him), nicholas (the devout catholic, he scared all of us by his holiness, seriously), amadeo (indonesian, acjc--probably the only one, then no idea, probably smu). hmm, that's as far as my memory could go though. i probably missed about five to ten people (hopefully not that many). maybe one day we'll meet again. 2012. ten years anniversary dinner. make sure you all come.

being in this school had been the greatest thing that happened in my life up till then. it went unchallenged through jc. now, though. it seems to have met its challenger. kent ridge hall. the hall tore my life apart and stitch them back in all different places. still not sure for better or for worse, but it's been a great experience. an experience i still am not ready to let go. i still remember what gabriel said in his infamous blog, balderdash. he said that hall is a prison. that we're all inmates. but in which prison does the inmate loves the prison as much as us loving the hall, or the block for that matter? i'm sorry classmate, you're completely wrong this time around.

thank you for reading my rambling up till here. if you managed to reach this point, thank you for being a good reader and a good friend. not many people can stand rumbling of such a magnitude. in fact, i don't expect more than five people to reach this paragraph.

[censored]. i've decided to take this part off the blog. first censorship event. anyway, this is the paragraph that caused me to put the entry title. it's too revealing to share an msn nick my angel (as in angel mortal's angel) and i used for almost a year in jc to id each other.

anyway, cc, found your blog again. yay! (: i thought i've lost it.

bright days

2006-09-17T17:16:00.000+08:00

this song has been playing on loop with my other two songs, if i kissed you and baby come home. i think my neighbour must be darned pissed with me. and i think my taste of music has changed again. after being quite constant for quite awhile, my brain is remaking itself again. i don't know how to describe this last phase. but it's been exciting for once. i've grown to appreciate the fact that i love to do certain things and that some things are not worth it. seriously not worth it.

consider this. i've been trying to be close with my block last year and i failed to do so. i've too much activities outside block and it's like i'm faking it too. i mean i guess i tried too hard. this year, i'm just going to be a mediocre block person and excel where i really can excel. i'm planning to join ivp at last, even though the practice is quite a madness. there are a few hall comms that i'm considering too. i will practically keep most of my hall comms last year. the position i'm going to take will depend on a lot of factors though.

ahh, and we've been doing quite a bit of work to attract people to join smu. really, seriously. we have kel and nat. joseph too. and the e block floorball girl (i can't really remember her name). plus ys is considering i think. as for seniors, i think if we worked hard enough, we can pull glen, jackson and myself (yes, i'm not confirmed joining yet). that's already more than half the strength we need. oh, and i think faith is confirmed joining back. but we need somebody with car (at least, a van will be good too).

moving on, i'm still asking myself whether i want to join ham again. if i did, i've to make sure i've good people, otherwise life's going to be damn jialat. i can't work like last year anymore, doing 3 people's jobs as one person. if i didn't remember wrongly, i didn't sleep for 3 consecutive days (and didn't go to school as well) just to finish the flash project for ham. but then again, those 3 days gave me straight 8 points. anyway, let's see who's the chief-ed first. i managed to pull one person to try for sub-ed writing. i hope she could be a good sub-ed if she got it d:.

that's for hall. i've to retain my position in TTH exco too. that one is damn tiring. i really need somebody to start helping me do my job. i kinda regretted taking a post in TTH exco, but what's done is done. i'm just going to finish it. anyway, i rejected the offer for GTT. i think i love hall a little bit too much right now to just abandon it for some grand experience outside hall.

to c-blockers, thanks for today. i seriously think you all were the champs, not e-blockers. seriously, that's one great game and one great spirit. love you guys, more than you think (:.

as for my own competition update: last leg. just another four more days to the end of quals. let it be a good one. i need to finish both of my components. hopefully i can finish 50% of my second component today. the first one is 75% done already. i need to win both of the components to advance to the next round. come on. really need the wins! so sorry if i need to phantomise myself the next few days (not that i'm not already a phantom).

anyway, thanks smu for keeping everything going smoothly all these while. i think ibg won't be as fun as it is now (for me) without you guys. jason, glen, jackson, kam, kel, nat, ys, faith, joseph, mel, ag, and marge. of course we're missing a few seniors though (2 to be exact), who practically never come down for a single duty. i guess you all are just too busy with other things (hopefully, just don't tell me you both are sleeping in your room during every single matches). and jason, we're still waiting for your treat!

thank God. if you haven't realised, my tone today is very happy and bright. thanks to all the things that happened in the past two or three days. they cumulatively made me happier and happier and happier by the day. friday morning i woke up a little happier already (not morning, more like afternoon). friday evening was fun with handball too, followed by dota marathon that night. woke up saturday afternoon, in time for training. then agm. then bbq. bbq was superb too! i drank quite a bit but didn't get drunk luckily. we played small cards, loser drink. some of the girls are really drinkers man. if i were to drink as much as them, i'd be KO already. anyway, was pretty sober at the end, so my instructor told me to take care of the two members who are going back with me to kr and sheares. i think it should be the other way round lar. they black-belters leh, and i'm what? white? but the two of them were not very sober, so yeah. see! must know your own limit, make sure you don't exceed (and that, btw, is the lesson i learnt from my angel in jc, my best angel ever, nicked fallen angel). and talking about angel mortal, i haven't written a single damn thing for both my angels and mortals. what a slacker. sorry guys. fitting huh, my nick (slackenerny of phd comics)?

okay done, done. i'm hungry. shall write some other time. bye.

p.s. the song, almost forgot:

Save Me
Corrinne May

I drift, I burn, I fly
When you sing lullabies
I'm helpless, I'm yearning
I'm like the putty in your hands

I laugh, I dream, I cry
When you take me on a roller coaster ride
You see me through and through
You see just who i am
Just take my hand and

Save me from this place
Heaven knows I'm falling
For you, my sweet embrace
Heaven Knows
Heaven knows I've been waiting for you

I had a dream that i
was falling from the sky
At 90 miles an hour
I was bound to crash and die
But out of nowhere you came and rescued me
There must be some grace in the touch of your face
I'm so happy that I've found you
I'm no longer afraid

Oh 'cause you
Save me from this place
Heaven knows i'm falling
For you my sweet embrace
Heaven knows
Heaven knows I've been waiting

Before i met you
Life was slow-mo
So slow-mo
I thought i had it figured out
But you came and turned my whole world upside down

Save me from this place
Heaven knows I'm falling
For you, my sweet embrace
Heaven knows
Heaven knows you've come to

Save me from this place
Heaven knows I'm falling
For you, my sweet embrace
Heaven knows
Heaven knows I've been waiting for you
Waiting for you

a short two-day-long post

2006-09-16T03:39:00.000+08:00

friday night was all gone on dota. wow! that's like the first time i played in the past one month or so. like i skipped 2 or 3 map versions lar! 6.37 now, i think the last time i played it was 6.34. that's like how sad.

anyway, won a game, lost two games. damn sad case! by the second game i lost all the concentration that gave me my 13 kills in the first game. ended up having my two snipe missed. lucky i managed to end somebody else wickedsick-ness with my assi. well, not too bad, considering that i haven't played for quite awhile.

hungry. going to cook noodles!

well anyway, i had my share of fun tonight, so i guess i'll be stuck doing my work tomorrow, and training too! then sunday, i pledge myself to be on duty for floorball. so yeah, that's another day gone.

and, ibg will be extended by at least a day! because of the rain today. jason won't be too happy. (:

. . .

i can't believe it! this is SUNDAY already and i haven't finished posting. and then again, i can't remember what i wanted to write that day (whenever that day is when i started posting this entry).

blah!

shall start a new post.

(: d: C:

tiny droplets of rainfall

2006-09-15T11:00:00.000+08:00

short one. the weather is so nice to sleep. it's drizzling outside and it's dark enough to sleep without closing the blinds. just when i said drizzling, the rain got heavier. woot! yay! i'm really going to have a good sleep.

hm. yeah, you guessed it, i didn't have any lesson today, at least not until 4pm. so i'd be able to sleep a deep long sleep after this. another yay! i love friday. i could simply concentrate on my competitions and just do practically little else.

anyway, i slept at 4 this morning. blah! i think it's stupid to sleep too late. but i was too engrossed with my competition to stop half way. yeah, finished about 60% of the work just a few hours after the competition question is posted. i plan to finish 90% by today. or even 100%! and i'll make sure i work hard enough to achieve it. i was stupid last week. had so much time, yet i never work hard enough, ended up not submitting anything. blah!

oh but i got 2nd place for one of the competitions from the week before. still have another one of the competitions (i submitted 2 the week before last) in appeal stage. i should know the result by early next week. i'm so happy for the 2nd place. that's a really good start comparatively. last stage, i ended last in my first ever competition. this time around, i ended up with 175 points, only doing my first project for second stage. it's passed the 4th week already i know and a lot of people had been doing a lot of projects. but who cares! 175 points brought me to number 26 for this stage and number 20 for the collegiate competition. if i could get another 2nd place or 1st place for my other competition, i'll secure i place in top 15 already for both.

anyway, you know, i haven't been talking in msn for a long time now. well, other than, 'hey, can i take ... from you?', or 'are you going for match later?', or 'are you going class tomorrow?'. haha! so yesterday was one of the longest msn conversation i had. thanks anyway, i'd have been very bored otherwise.

next week highlights: block comm election, first cheerleading training of the year, cheer supper, ibg closing (road race)--marking the end of my long year with smu, and training of course! ah, and the end of my competition quals. if by next week i could submit another 2 and win 1st place for both, i'll secure a place in the top 8! (:

song time: catchy tunes, again from American Hi-Fi. i start to really like this band man.

Baby Come Home
American Hi-Fi

I understand your point of view
So what do I say
I've been so underwhelmed before
You've got a lot to prove
Somewhere lines get crossed it's true
It's the nature of things
The longer we can see it through
The more we make believe
Baby likes a blue sky
I don't mind if it's gonna rain on me sometime
Maybe got her mind made up for sure
Baby won't you come back home?

All the people that we love
Disappoint us the most
Makeshift friends and low demands
We're running outta time

My late night call
One way to fall
I miss you still
---

i just went to storeroom just now. on my way there, i was washed by droplets of rain. it was more like a mist. it's very cooling. damn nice feeling! very refreshing.

Before i met you
Life was slow-mo
So slow-mo
I thought i had it figured out
But you came and turned my whole world upside down

two songs

2006-09-14T21:04:00.000+08:00

sometime life is tough. sometime life barks back at you. sometime it seems like tomorrow will never come.

but it does. it always does. so forget yesterday, and move on.
---

a tribute:

to mechanics, thanks for letting me have the time of my life with you all. the photo yesterday was all for you guys.
---

If I Kissed You
Corrinne May

If I kissed you
Would fireworks fly
Would angels sing with lollipops
Would dinosaurs cry
Would babies all gurgle in laughter and surprise
If I kissed you

If I kissed you
What would Michelangelo say
Would he still have sculpted David
Would we be immortalized in clay
Would the poets write of love like ours
Would John Donne have his say
If I kissed you

You could be one in a million
You could be the one for me
But I guess I'll never know if I never try
I guess I'll just have to grab you in my arms
And kiss you

If I kissed you
Would you lose track of time
Would you feel a surge of happiness
Running up your spine
Would you run naked in the street
With a tattoo of my name on your behind
If I kissed you
Oh, if I kissed you
Yeah, if I kissed you
---

Someday We'll Know
Mandy Moore/Jonathan Foreman

Mandy:
Ninety Miles outside Chicago
Can't stop driving
I don't know why
So many questions
Need an answer
Two years later
You're still on my mind
Jonathan:
Whatever happen to Amelia Earhart?
Who holds the stars up in the sky?
Is true love just once in a lifetime?
Both:
Did the captain of the Titanic cry?

(Chorus)
Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain...
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue...
Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you...

Mandy:
Does anybody know the way to Atlantis?
Jonathan:
Or what the wind says when she cries?
Mandy:
I'm speeding by the place that I met you
Both:
For the 97th time...tonight

(Chorus)
Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain...
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue...
Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you...
(yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Both:
Someday we'll know
Jonathan:
Why Samson loved Delilah...
Both:
One day I'll go
Mandy:
Dancing on the moon...
Both:
Someday you'll know
That I was the one for you...
Mandy:
I bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow,
Jonathan:
And watched the stars crash in the sea,
Mandy:
If I could ask God just one question...
Both:
Why aren't you here with me?...tonight

(Chorus)
Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain...
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue...
Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you...
(yeah yeah yeah yeah)

Someday we'll know
Why Samson loved Delilah...
One day I'll go
Dancing on the moon...
Someday you'll know
That I was the one for you...
---

i'm impressed. somebody linked me! i'm bloody impressed. thanks! (fortunately the link was titled Mr X, so yeah.)
---

so i have two nice songs today. hope you like them. this is the rare occasion where i actually post two lyrics in one post. i've been keeping the first song for a few days now. i don't know how to describe it. i guess it's just cute. but no, not really. the lyrics is really well-crafted. you know that i didn't know that corrinne may is singaporean? now when was the first time i heard her song? i believe it was on a certain date on max brenner's almost a year back. it was mr beasley i think. i manage to dig out the song from my friend's laptop then, and soon i got bored of it. never bothering to listen to the rest of her songs. but by a stroke of luck, the song was playing just when i came back from somewhere. it was the song i mentioned on the post on Told You So.

the second song, on the other hand, just popped out awhile ago. did i even watch a walk to remember? no, i don't think i did. on that genre of show, i think i only really like serendipity. watched that many, many times. well, anyway, i should probably get the show and watch it. i'm sorta running out of things to watch. come on, when i started to download things like BBC Life of Birds, something must have gone terribly wrong.

nevertheless, i'm happy, in the next few weeks, all my favourite shows are going to air again! i think gilmore will be the first to air, followed closely by smallville. unfortunately, of course, charmed and alias was over last season. i wonder what show should i follow this year. i'm not up to date on one tree hill. i wanted to start watching supernatural, but hasn't gotten i good download source. i'm really running out of good show. oh, and this season will be the last time gilmore going to air. this is the final season, with rory's graduation. blah. and i don't see smallville going too much into the future. so yeah. it's really over. the glory days of old-timers. everything now is the bloody reality tv. what the heck? other than so you think you can dance, i don't really think there's any show that makes a lot of sense. lost isn't bad i guess. but shows like survivor, project runway, amazing race, bachelor(ette)? wth! waste of time! (no personal attack to those who watch these shows though, it's just me.)

oh, and i was injured rather badly yesterday. i fell during training. fell really badly. usually, when you fall, you have that soft, low 'thud' or louder, still low 'boom'. yesterday was a high pitched slapping sound, 'piakk'! the first thing that came to my mind wasn't the pain or what, it was the shocked from the sound. i was half expecting being unable to stand up or what. that's when hamsap forcefully pulled me up to my foot. that's when the pain came in. i pulled at least three muscle groups, my sole muscle, my lower leg muscle and my hamstring. not for long though, i forcefully pushed my leg down to the floor. my sole muscles immediately fixed itself, followed shortly by the other muscle groups. the pain lingers though. i couldn't really walk after that. i got small cuts on my elbow and my hips was quite pain too. the worse part was when i went back. i came back from training at 1045pm, missing an A1 bus. so i took the A2 bus, that come much later. reached PGP at 1108!! missed the last bus back to kr! sigh. so i had to walk back. and it was really painful once you cooled down already. it was so painful, i almost couldn't walk properly. took about 20 minutes just to reach kr. and almost late for jcrc voting. but managed to vote at the end. talked awhile with sy and small serene in the voting room. and glen too before that.

the pain really sank in when i was about to sleep. when you are doing nothing, the pain really becomes the one thing that your mind focused on, amplifying it. i almost couldn't sleep for awhile. but was too tired from three hours of training that even such a pain didn't stop me from falling asleep.

i still couldn't really walk properly without feeling the pain today, but it's really much better than yesterday. skipped all my classes today (one canceled, give 2 classes a miss, and the talk too). ended up watching handball match, which wasn't as exciting as i had expected. sian! it was e vs b guys, and those two are like the best block for handball. why can't they play more excitingly. final score, 7-3 for e block.
---

anyway, should focus on my competition. i have two more upcoming projects before the end of qualification. i should finish these two well and get at least one first place. that's my target. last week result is almost out, i got one second place and another one still in limbo. looking at my current score, i should be able to secure at least a second place also. hopefully first though! (:

that's it. should i play badminton tomorrow?

little, tiny wonders

2006-09-13T01:34:00.000+08:00

God of Wonders
written by: Steve Hindalong and Marc Byrd

Lord of Heaven and Earth
(Lord of all creation)
Lord of Heaven and Earth

Lord of all creation
Of the water, earth and sky
The Heavens are your Tabernacle
Glory To the Lord on high

God of wonders
Beyond our galaxy
You are holy, holy
The universe
Declares your majesty
You are holy, holy

Early in the morning
I will celebrate the light
And when I stumble into darkness
I will call your name by night

God of wonders
Beyond our galaxy
You are holy, holy
The universe
Declares your majesty
You are holy, holy

Hallelujah (to the lord of heaven and earth)
Hallelujah (to the lord of heaven and earth)
Hallelujah (to the lord of heaven and earth)

Holy, holy
Holy, holy

God of wonders
Beyond our galaxy
You are holy, holy

Precious Lord,
Reveal your heart to me
Father hold me, hold me

The Universe
Declares your majesty
You are Holy, Holy
Holy, Holy

Hallelujah (to the lord of heaven and earth)
Hallelujah (to the lord of heaven and earth)
Hallelujah (to the lord of heaven and earth)
Hallelujah (to the lord of heaven and earth)
Hallelujah (to the lord of heaven and earth)
Hallelujah (to the lord of heaven and earth)
---

just had cg, thanks for the beautiful song. very, very soothing. i'm pretty sure i'll be listening to this song the whole night. thank you Lord.

if you had note all the little, tiny wonders that God has done to you every single day, the number of stars in heaven won't match it, nor will all the grains of sands in the whole world. reminded me of a song we sang in sunday school a long while ago.

wonderful life. g'nite.

long due photos

2006-09-12T22:27:00.000+08:00

i'm on blogging spree!

actually, i'm just bored. right now, everyone is at jcrc rally while i'm here in my room doing practically zilchthing. so yeah, i thought of looking through this year's rag photos. i couldn't find many good photos of the rag performance itself, but i managed to grab three nice ones and one nice group photo of the raggers and dancers. but, i didn't manage to post all of them down there because i suddenly feel lazy to do any photoshopping on the third one. anyway, here goes the photos.

qingyou of e-block on the kronos, looking good! he's our conductor and he was one hell of a conductor.

and there it is, the rag dancers, comprising of some seniors and half freshies, performing a 2-2-1 stunt, executed almost perfectly with only two weeks of practice. the seniors were mostly cheerleaders, but not all. pearl is not for example.

and lastly, the raggers and rag dancers in a perfect group photos.

all the photos were taken by photo comm and the photoshopping was done hurriedly by me (:. hope you like them. thanks kronos, for making my year! yes, even if so many things go wrong this year, this is one that can never go wrong.

for interest's sake, i've just read some b-blocker's blog, this entry in particular. the story of a certain somebody (or some people) walking out of the dance room half way through audition for kr dancers. he stated that the reason was (implicitly stated) that the person took the audition too seriously and failed to have fun. i would agree completely with him if that was the reason. which is why i don't really like the way krx audition was held (this is according to my source, wei, having never gone through krx audition before). krx held their audition in the manner that stressed the freshies. it made it difficult for them to act their heart out.

for dance, i don't think that's the case. the audition is mainly very spontaneous and fun, similar to cheerleading ones. so i certainly don't think the person walked out because of stress that she could not get in.

ah, why did i have this feeling that i know that person he's talking about? *scratch2* yeah, i think i know, unless of course he's saying that more than one person walked out during audition. and if i were right, the reason why she walked out of the audition room wasn't because of stress because she die, die wanted to join kr dancers. in fact, it's more like, paiseh that she couldn't even remember the steps at all.

no, obviously, i do think that she wanted to be in kr dance, everyone who went for auditions sure have that desire somewhere within their heart, although they might tell everyone that they went for audition just to accompany some friends, or just for the fun of it, or just for trying out sake. and i think i'm right on this count.

aih, been talking too much again. 11pm got something on, so i guess, i should get going soon. i suppose rally is over. if so, yay!
---

the picture of the swirling birds soaring above the ocean at sunset reminded me of childhood; without stress, without bgr, without hall. another dimension to sunset's swirl.

hirako shinji

2006-09-12T21:00:00.000+08:00

WTF!? omg. so that's my pseudonym. oh, and don't tel me i don't try with my real name. it's even more omgs and wtfs.

today and tomorrow

2006-09-12T18:57:00.000+08:00

i think this year's hall is going on a good start on many fronts. the new jcrc members are so damn highly promising (oh, to add to that, we might have at least 4 c-blockers in jcrc). committees are starting to nab people in neatly. people have been called to serve everywhere. fwoc is seeing a new chair, probably. rag does not seem to be lacking people anymore. block comm is getting (almost) the best people all around. including zhihao and dennis, two of the best people to be blockheads IMHO. c-block is still struggling with block comm election. we still lack people to run for blockhead ever since brendon and kg were elected to jcrc. we had our seniors' meeting yesterday, and finally decided who's worthy to run for blockhead. although we needed to change the system to suit the situation at hand. the meeting lasted four hours and we're not even near getting people for senior blockcommers. blah. d block had their seniors' meeting although everything still seems very hazy. i can't really remember who's going to take over e-block. hmm. e-block. qingyou and ron were really good. and i really, really like those two guys, especially qingyou.

anyway, i had a casual conversation with marge, who still hasn't thought about her successors for smu. oh well. it's ag's problem anyway, so we laughed. that's true. ag is so going to have a hard time getting chair and vice-chair for smu. glen told me he do not want to run, so that's one eligible person gone. well, there's still faith and jackson anyway. it's not so bad for them huh? ah, and of course, i've heard that nat wanted to run for vice. that's interesting. nat of the c-block emptor! (: well, all best (the famous quote from my faculty's freshies last year). anyway, i've heard that she's been doing a great job in her one or two weeks stint in smu.

ah, then again, smu has been going down every year. less and less people want to join the comm. everyone thought it's complete saikang, which is completely true IMHO. but that's no reason for seniors to discourage the freshies. i can easily name so many other comms who are at least as bad as smu in terms of saikang. ah, and marge asked me whether i want to join smu. hahahahaha! <- that's my first response. but at the end, i just told her that i'll just going to think about it first. i have no reason against the comm, but i don't want to over-commit everywhere, which i always do every year (yeah, not only in jc).

ah, then again, there'll be convening this year, that'll really drain people from smu. ag is really going to have headache.

health comm, on the other hand, will probably has the same chairperson as last year. he's (not to be too vulgar) fuckin' good. and if he run, i might want to join the comm too. again, after considering my overcommit problem seriously. i need points, but i don't need them desperately. so i shouldn't have problem with overcommitting, if i could choose properly between all the committees. but usually, i go on impulse. sigh.
---

anyway, for the record, i have a life outside hall! yes, get that straight! i might not have a life in hall, but i do outside. so don't tell me to keep to hall only. sorry, i know how it felt to be a strictly hall person, and i don't really like it. i tried to go out of hall, and you know what? it's very fun outside! when life is not all about ibg, jcrc, comms, ihg, fwoc and rag. unlike last time, when i'd gladly sacrifice my class hours for hall, this year will be the other way round. i would gladly give hall activities a miss when that means i could meet my classmates more in classes. yes, they are a really fun bunch of people. one of my classes really has the best mix of people, from the professor, the smart girl (that's how i'm going to refer to you from now on chris), the smart boy (this has to be grace's bf), the cool russian girl (who has been here since before jc), the mongol girl (by descent, but she's a singaporean), the staunchies (a few of them), the liberals (also a few of them; the smart girl, the smart boy, the russian girl, the mongol girl and myself included), and down to this slacker right here writing. how fun is that? as compared to hall where there's only two kinds of people: the diehard and the conformers (ah and of course, the third type, who i must insist have the best life in hall: the phantoms; casual life, fun, without any obligations to the hall).

so again, don't do that again! don't tell me to just focus on hall since, what was your reason, hall will take lots of your time, but it's rewarding and will give you lots of points? oh yeah yeah, yeah right! i might not get any points from my outside stuffs, but to say that hall is a whole lot better than wasting my time outside is just very insensitive (not to mention, very untrue).
---

another surprising revelation, my blog is not so secret anymore. i just told my friend that i have a blog without telling the person where it is. in a matter of a day, the person msn me that my blog was found! and the person got it correctly. all these effort to conceal my id has proven unsuccessful. must be my reason tries to be more open and less secretive (i remembered always using acronyms for names, while right now, i liberally use names here).

talking about blog, somebody from japan was reading my blog this afternoon (i think). i'm not sure who the person is, but the person's been reading all the archives for this blog. might be the 'bleach' attractions. heh heh.

talking about bleach, bleach is going through a 'save inoue' arc, which i don't really like, except for the fact that i'm going to see more of hueco mundo, which is a great deal more fun than the idea that they're there to save inoue. ah, and the new chapter just hit japanese market right about now. so in another one to two days, i'm going to be able to get a raw.

talking about blog, this blog was initially started as a bleach fan blog, but never got to start that way at all, except for a few posts on bleach raw and scanlation coming out. then again, this blog has evolved a lot. i used to like super long posts, which i will write over the course of the day, editing and adding stuffs to it along the day. the entry becomes more like 'the day of my lives' kind of entries. now it's more localised, usually written in a short span of a few minutes to at most an hour, and i don't really have aversion towards opening a new entries if need be.

anyway, the blog is going to have its 6th month anniversary in a week time. well, this may well be longer than my previous blog (actually not really, my previous blog stretched all the way to jc 2 time until early year 1, with a few minor entries after entering nus (sadly i had no time for any major entries then). i think that blog was far too ambitious, with posting ranging from thrice to five times a day at its peak. this blog on the other hand, is much more personal and 'ot, ot' kind of blog, with no set goals, etc.
---

i'm pretty happy today. i managed to talk with some people in the course of my day, brightening up my day constantly from breakfast all the way till i came back from my lesson at 2pm. then coupled with my super long nap, i really feel completely refreshed. that's the one thing i love about hall, the convenient bed so near to my class. oh, and of course i skipped my lecture at 4-6. as usual. i've never really managed to bring myself up for that class sadly.
---

for someone who's been reading (and whose blog i've been reading too), good choice there on not running for block comm. you've probably just avoided the mistake i made last time, when i choose to be active in hall and got myself into so many messy stuffs (i mean comms, culture in hall). at the end, i left church. which is bad i thought. i've not been going in the past year or so. now the only semblance to church i had is the block cg, in which i'm not very active as well.

2 - d - a - y = ?

2006-09-11T16:29:00.000+08:00

hey ya!

today = bad day.

well, that's not new anymore, isn't it? haha! it's not bad actually. woke up early in the morning refreshed, thinking that i'm ready for anything now. went for my first class at 10am. accidentally met zhenyi and talked a whole lot of things on studies in the bus. she's a european studies major (and usp) and she was complaining about history. hmm. yeah, history really involves a lot of reading. but you can do it! (: look at this slacker. i've been slacking around quite a bit and i still managed (although barely). you've worked a lot harder than me. look at your writing man! you managed to get such a good comment. my writing class last year was terrible. i got B, B and B and of course B for the overall grade. but i love my prof, johan gertseema. i think her prof is not bad too, don favareau. both classes are quite fun i guess. i'm sure you'll manage. plus, you are not a die-hard hall girl, so yeah, you will manage!

moving on, i arrived in my first class late. but it was okay, since today we had this chinese muslim calligrapher visiting the class. he did quite a bit of arabic and chinese calligraphy for us. it's quite exciting. christina was our translator for the day, with kent helping also. he actually wrote our faculty name in chinese and in arabic. it's so cool! oh, and at the rear, some people were having theological debate between christianity and muslim (as always the case, i guess). one argument was that christianity and muslim are totally different, therefore they fight. out of all arguments, i think that's the stupidest. i mean, come on, are you that naive to say that they fight because of that? yeah, right. no, actually, the teaching of the two are very similar in terms of addressing moral and day-to-day issues (divorce, taxes, etc). even the events in the Bible and the Quran are basically similar (including Jesus). the major difference is actually the fact that christianity acknowledges God as a trinity of God the Father, God the Son and the Holy Spirit. Islam does not explicitly reject this, but implicitly does so by saying that Jesus is just a prophet, like Mohammad, and that the Jews were taking his teachings wrongly and Islam is there to fix this misconception. Well, whatever it is, it's really not the source of fighting. in fact, muslim and jewish and christians live happily side by side in the middle east of early second millennium. the problem began with crusade, the single worse act of humanity in christian history. it's amazing how the condition then was a complete reverse of now. the Pope then pointed finger at the muslims, indicting them as infidels and there went all the europeans' poors in search for lands and riches, and knights in search of fame flooding the middle east, taking over jerusalem by force, killing muslims, jews and christians alike (who lived in jerusalem then).

look at it now. the muslim fundamentals were led by a figure who pointed finger at christians, accusing them as infidels. and there goes the fundamentals running amok with bombs and planes. all of these distil down to one point, taking the teachings of both religions in a wrong manner, interpreting the holy books out of context, etc. Isn't there a phrase in the Bible that says that you should love your enemy? (i'm not sure about the Quran's equivalent, having never read the book in the first place.)

sigh.

anyway, why was i rambling about that just now? hmm. no idea. anyway, i have 3 minutes to wrap up before going out again. damnit, so busy nowadays. early this morning, my friend messaged me that i'm supposed to go do things today, right about 10 minutes from now. my plan of sleeping after class is screwed again.

ah, i had a little debate with my prof during my 2-4pm class. the debate turns sour as usual. so i guess i just found myself another prof with views against mine. it's on a simple things like 'no food and drinks' sign. wow. anyway, it was fun, with exception of the stupid remarks i made at the end. i guess i must have been very bored then.

aih. i have a slight headache now. damn! i hope i'll be fine later. i've to sleep early later. remind me again later.

see ya!

boring description of today (1am - 530pm)

2006-09-10T17:26:00.000+08:00

today is the first time even i pulled out of competitions. bloody hell. it's so damn tough this time. three worker classes, all implementing threads, one was stoppable thread. each threads calling the rest of the threads. one with infinite loops. nuts i tell you. what else was there? abstract action handlers, wasn't it? well, anyway, i pulled out. so i'm left with one competition right now. but that's okay, i'm expecting to score big in my last week's projects and this one project this week. let's hope i'm right, otherwise i'm so screwed.

anyway, this morning, i had quite some fun with my friend who's residing in the states right now. at 1am here (1pm in carnegie-mellon u, PA), we both compete together in a 75 minutes online competition. it's freakin' tough but fun. the first question was easy. it's just flipping a prose, something like:

ABC
ABC
ABC

becomes

AAA
BBB
CCC

quite easy really. it was the second question that was getting difficult. i knew how to do it in general, but it's difficult to implement the correct things. it's dp with memoization (bottom-up approach, i think). i have difficulties calculating certain important numbers. oh, and i can't believe i used a wrong method! blah! idiot! took me most of the 75 minutes to finish that question (while it took me less than 3 minutes to solve the first question). anyway, i didn't have the time to solve the third question. it was on Young tableau.

anyway, i was ranked 117 out of more than 700 people. my friend was 170. and we both passed that qual round. so now we're going to round 1 next next week. oh, and my rating went up (similar style of rating as in chess). went up big. it went up about 100 points from 1369 to 1471. i'm very close of being upgraded from blue to yellow (yellow is from 1500 onwards). my aim is to be yellow by end of round 1. then i'll slack. i just want to get the free t-shirt they're giving out if you managed to pass round 1 (meaning advancing to round 2).

well, it was fun. after the competition, we chatted until almost 5am. talking about all sort of rubbish. you see, my friend is a really avid mathematician (no that's not his major, he's a cs major). so he likes analysing the result of the competition. and analyse it he did. oh and he was complaining about google code jam because google never emailed him about the qual round which was like on 5 or 6 sept, which already passed lar! well, he still has tccc to look forward to!

oh, and i should tell you this, he happens to be my ex-classmate in jc. oh well. smart guy! (:
---

enough of boring description. moving on to my life today. i woke up at 2pm, sat down in front of my computer, surfing net, listening to songs, bathe. wait. did i bathe already? oh, no, i haven't! sorry! i'm too lazy right now. oh, at least i did eat lunch. that's good. you know what? my life today is boring too! too bad!

anyway, lastly, i've got two more songs that i really like in the span of a day (so three songs including the song i posted yesterday). well, i'll post one here and keep the other one to myself. so here it is, barenaked ladies' told you so.

Told You So
Barenaked Ladies

I never jumped in and rescued you,
but I wanted to
I didn't tell you which way to go,
'cause I thought you'd know
You had a problem with your new found
wealth, you brought it on yourself
I never told you I told you so, but I told you so

Have to let it go
it's time to let it go
Now I can't believe
It took so long to leave
Perhaps one day I'll grieve
Or I never will

I never told you I agreed with you
I don't think I do
I wasn't sure quite what the whole thing
meant, but I'm glad you went
I never thought that it could be painless,
but it is I guess
I had myself fooled into needing you,
did I fool you too?

Have to let it go
it's time to let it go
Now I can't believe
It took so long to leave
Perhaps one day I'll grieve
Or I never will

A viral infection that can incubate for years
Caused by affection fallen deep into arrears
No medication to procure
Makes me pure, there's no cure, I am sure

I never mentioned how I've prayed for you,
and now I've paid for you
I never said that I would wait for you,
it's too late for you

Have to let it go
it's time to let it go
Now I can't believe
It took so long to leave
Perhaps one day I'll grieve

harvard story

2006-09-09T19:35:00.000+08:00

omg, omg (this is the second time i started my entry with this word, i know)! i can't stop laughing. when i thought i could just relax for an hour, i decided to read sl's blog. from which i clicked on the link to somebody i thought i might know. well, it's really that person, but anyway, that's not the best part. the best part is the post at the top of the blog! this one! i can't stop laughing! i heard this story last year. but it still is a big laugh-starter:

This happened at Harvard University in October last year. In a biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen which gives the sperm all the energy for their journey.

A female freshman raised her hand and asked, "If I understand you correctly, you're saying there is a lot of glucose, as in sugar, in semen?"

"That's correct" responded the professor, going on to add statistical info. Raising her hand again, she asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?" After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing. the poor girl's face turned bright red, and as she realized exactly what she had inadvertently said (or rather implied), she picked up her books without a word and walked out of class, never to return.

However, as she was going out the door, the professor's reply was classic. Totally straight-faced he answered her question. "It doesn't taste sweet because the taste buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not the back of your throat. Have a good day."

just in case the person happens to chance here, thanks seowyen for the good laugh and the snippets above!

when a butterfly flaps its wings, it could start a tornado

2006-09-09T18:48:00.000+08:00

Why Don't You And I
Santana (feat. Chad Kroeger of Nickelback)

Since the moment I spotted you
Like walking 'round with little wings on my shoes
My stomach's filled with the butterflies
And it's alright
Bouncing round from cloud to cloud
I got the feelin' like I'm never gonna come down
If I said I didn't like it then you know I'd lied

Every time I try to talk to you
I get tongue-tied
Turns out, everything I say to you
Comes out wrong and never comes out right

So I'll say why don't you and I get together an' take on the world,
be together forever
Heads we will and tails we'll try again
So I say why don't you and I hold each other, fly to the moon
and straight on to heaven
Cause without you they're never gonna let me in

When's this fever gonna break ?
I think I've handled more than any man can take
I'm like a love-sick puppy chasing you around
And it's alright
Bouncin' round from cloud to cloud
I got the feeling like I'm never gonna come down
If I said I didn't like it then you know I'd lied

Every time I try to talk to you
Get tongue-tied
Turns out, everything I say to you
Comes out wrong and never comes out right

So I'll say why don't you and I get together an' take on the world
and be together forever
Heads we will and tails we'll try again
So I say why don't you and I get together, fly to the moon
and straight on to heaven
Cause without you they're never gonna let me in

Slowly I begin to realize this is never gonna end
But about the same time you walk by
And I say oh here we go again, oh

Every time I try to talk to you
I get tongue-tied
Turns out, everything I say to you
Comes out wrong and never comes out right

So I'll say why don't you and I get together an' take on the world
and be together forever
Heads we will and tails we'll try again
So I say why don't you and I hold each other, fly to the moon
and straight on to heaven
Cause without you they're never gonna let me in

So I'll say why don't you and I get together take and on the world
and be together forever
Heads we will and tails we'll try again
So I say why don't you and I hold each other, fly to the moon
and straight on to heaven
Cause without you they're never gonna let me in

So I'll say why don't you and I get together and take on the world
and be together forever
Heads we will and tails we'll try again
---

omg, perfect song for me! at first the tune caught me off guard. i was just back to my room when i heard this song playing. wow. i mean, really wow! that's the thing you see, this kind of gem only comes once in a blue moon, and you've to be ready there and then. but well, this song is really nice!

oh, then i checked out the lyrics since i wanted to post it here. see above. the lyrics. that's really me he's describing. no, not that i've a crush on anyone right now. but that's how i feel in general when i have a crush. bad right? i think so too. so this time, i'm dedicating this song to myself. for once.

So I'll say why don't you and I get together an' take on the world
and be together forever
Heads we will and tails we'll try again
So I say why don't you and I hold each other, fly to the moon
and straight on to heaven
Cause without you they're never gonna let me in
---

anyway, today was volleyball. sucks. it's just simply freakin' hot. although c-block won the guys match (first victory of this year ibg), i don't really feel excited. i guess i'm not that block-oriented after all. and i'm not really. i think i've more friends outside my block; closer ones i mean.

and i'm so very tired. i just came back from some things outside hall. it's so damn tiring. after the thing, i talked to two of my closer friends there. not only talk, we trained a bit too. i didn't realise that two hours have passed since we started training, the three of us. i think it's a good one. i really feel that i'm improving a lot by doing this kind of small clique training. i feel lighter and faster now. maybe it's just a feeling, but a good feeling after all. ah, and one of those two friends of mine is running for a committee outside, as a treasurer. jiayou dee!

also managed to get to know a few more people just now. people like denise, sj, and three more people whose name i couldn't really recall. oh, and i got to know my friend's name! yes! amazing right! i know her for over two weeks and talked a few times with her, but i only asked her the name today. anyway, it happens that she doesn't really know my name also. so yeah! it goes both way. at least i'm not so paiseh, hehe. it's fun today, really. and we're having bbq next week. although i'm not sure whether i could attend.

talking about focus, i've managed to regain certain focus right now. i know sometime i could be damn indecisive. but not now. i'm going to be more focused and decisive. for example, my decision to go out of the confines of hall. it's been great really. and i won't let hall made me back off from my decision. my decision to keep on doing my work is on too! i'll not quit for hall. if i can't stay next year, so be it!

and i've to pay more attention to my godsis, chris. it's been awhile since we had a good talk. she went to ps to see the rag performance. but even then i was so busy i could only talked to her for a short five minutes. we only managed to take photos, exchange a few meaningless chitchat and that's it. i've been neglecting her since i entered hall. i'm not even sure what she's doing right now, which guy she likes, etc. i remembered last time, i even know the fact that she got four guys proposing to her in a span of one week although she was overseas then (ah yes, she's that impressive, although she only had one boyfriend, ex-bf i mean, so far). we're such an exact opposite. i wonder how she becomes my godsis anyway. that was when? sec 3? yeah, i think it's end of sec 3. wow, it's been a long while.

ah, yes, did i tell you that my instructor has exactly the same name as my godsis? yeah, chris too. the first thing i remembered when she intro-ed herself last time was my godsis. hmm. ah, and hall. how many chrises do we have? i can recall at least four chrises around. gosh. must remember, next time cannot name any of my sons or daughters with a name that's too common.
---

chronon! play it here! damn fun, damn time-consuming as well! damn frustrating if you can't win it. but i finally won it. blah! after almost a day playing on and off.

shoot! should i go out tonight? we're supposed to have some class gathering at some club at suntec. but i'm feeling lazy, and tired too! and i have qualification round at 1am tonight. i'm supposed to be fresh for the qual. maybe i shouldn't go.

oh, and so far, i haven't seen anyone doing the same work as me failed screening. today, i saw one. not sure who yet, but out of 5 works, only 4 will be graded. that means one of the works failed screening round. i hope it's not my friend's one, who happened to choose the same thing as me. i know i didn't fail. in fact i almost had perfect screening again.

shall go back to resting and listening to the song again. and singing along with it (alone of course, my singing tunes suck big time).
---

p.s. the quote on the title is on butterfly effect.

at your side

2006-09-08T14:08:00.000+08:00

sorry, terribly busy nowadays. i'm taking up too many outside projects, and all with super short timeline, which is killing me really. but nvm, shall not complain and just do!

anyway, just to entertain myself, i shall write about my past musical inclination. not in detailed recollection of course, just one in fact. i loved the corrs! been collecting most of their CDs since talk on corners, with exception of the newest one, home (which i thought sucks big time). talk on corners was probably the only cd with more than 70% lovable songs. really. imagine when you buy a cd, usually you only like two or three songs of the usual eleven or so. it was completely different with talk on corners. out of almost twenty songs inside, i loved about fifteen of them, including their infamous what can i do and runaway. but that love eventually fades after all. no, i still like the corrs, that's a given. but i'm not a fanatic fan anymore. well, i never was to begin with, but you got what i mean. right now, i rarely listen to their songs. in fact, in my bunch of top rated songs collection in my iTunes, there is only a few Corrs songs, i think only three (before i added the song below): what can i do, would you be happier and another one that i can't really remember. well, anyway, while listening to my library, this song played, the unplugged version (from mtv unplugged: the corrs). anyway, it reminded me of the good ol' days when life is so much more slacker (remember sec 1, sec 2?). i really love the violin play, really rocks. and andrea's voice is really great.

ah, and yes, talking about love, i really love andrea corr. hahaha! there you go, one of the secrets of my life. although right now, i'm no big fan of anybody (more like i'm a big fan of a song, but not of the singer), i used to have a crush on andrea. so funny to recall this kind of rubbish. anyway, here goes, dedicated to my few best friends who are still around (ah, and c-blockers and whoever who knows me personally and does not possess any enmities with me). ah, and to dispel the myth, i'm not gay. by dedicating this song, i'm in no way admitting that i'm gay. there you go! don't think too far.

At Your Side
The Corrs

When the daylight's gone, and you're on your own
And you need a friend, just to be around
I will comfort you, I will take your hand
And I'll pull you through, I will understand
And you know that...

I'll be at your side
There's no need to worry
Together, we'll survive
Through the haste & hurry
I'll be at your side, if you feel like you're alone
And you've nowhere to turn
I'll be at your side

If life's standing still, and your soul's confused
And you cannot find what road to choose
If you make mistakes (make mistakes)
You can't let me down (let me down)
I will still believe (still believe)
I will turn around
And you know that

I'll be at your side
There's no need to worry
Together we'll survive
Through the haste and hurry
I'll be at your side
If you feel like you're alone
And you've nowhere to turn
I'll be at your side

I'll be at your side
I'll be at your side
You know that

I'll be at your side
There's no need to worry
Together we'll survive
Through the haste and hurry
I'll be at your side, if you feel like you're alone
You've got somewhere to go
I'll be at your side

I'll be at your side
I'll be right there for you
(Together we'll survive)
Through the haste and hurry
I'll be at your side, if you feel like you're alone
You've got somewhere to go
'Coz I'm at your side
Yeeeah, I'll be right there for you
I'll be right there for you yeah
I'm right at your side

p.s. wow, guess what song played after this song? mis-teeq's scandalous. damn! really reminded me of ol' days (this time not so slack). that song is my batch's council dance (in jc). hmm, i still owe the two dance ics, zhien and zhiqing a little things which i already lost. and and chong2 also. feeling guilty again now. which also reminded me of rag @ ps, when all the fac heads were watching the rag, i think benjy, ex-s7 fac head and one of the sheares block comm members, invited them. there were the two inter-intras as well. oh, and limin, our junior batch ecaco chair was dancing for medicine. that's also where i met irene wong after almost two years of not seeing her at all. we used to live very close by (before hall) and she was from our junior batch as well. we used to talk quite a lot. oh, and she made it to medicine, congrats gal!

sitting down here

2006-09-07T09:32:00.000+08:00

today will be a short update. i have loads of stuffs to do for my projects, and they due tonight. so yeah. i'll be not rather busy, but super busy. and i've classes after classes today. ah, and i haven't done my tutorial for today. so i guess i've to do that tutorial during my 12-2 break. i wonder when's my tutorial, is it 3-4 or 4-5? hmm. should have enough time to finish my project after that. assuming i finish at 5, i'll have 4 hours to do the 6 things that i really need to do.

ah, and a lot of things have been shoved to me by my chair recently. at first it's little things like 'oh, she's done it for two weeks straight, why not you take over.' okay, that's one little thing that i don't really mind. then, 'hey, he's very very busy and tired, and we're thinking of getting him a break' and all i can say is 'ok, so?' and then she said, 'so we were thinking whether you could do his job.' (this was the previous post incident of course.) then, they were looking for replacement for one of the people for one of the stuffs. so i told her that i'd be quite free that day. the next thing i know, i'm in charge for the stuff! blardy hell!

oh, and a friend asked me to run for a committee outside. and i said no of course. sorry dee, you've to run all by yourself (:. you will do well, no worries!

and here's the reason why i posted this post, chwanz asked me to send him this song after he heard it yesterday. i didn't realise that the song is that nice, until he told me he wanted it. so yeah. it is. so enjoy!

Sitting Down Here
Lene Marlin

I'm sitting down here,
But hey you can't see me

Your words cut rather deeply,
They're just some other lies
I'm hiding from a distance,
I've got to pay the price
Defending all against it,
I really don't know why
You're obsessed with all my secrets,
You always make me cry
You seem to wanna hurt me
No matter what I do
I'm telling just a couple,
But somehow it gets to you
But I've learned how to get revenge
And I swear you'll experience that some day

I'm sitting down here,
But hey you can't see me, kinda invisible…
You don't sense my stay
Not truly hiding, not like a shadow
Just thought I would join you for one day
I'm sitting down here,
But hey you can't see me

I'm not trying to avoid you,
Just don't wanna hear your voice
When you call me up so often,
I don't really have a choice
You're talking like you know me
And wanna be my friend
But that's really too late now,
I won't try it once again
You may think that I'm loser,
That I don't really care
You may think that it's all forgotten,
But you should be aware
Cause I've learned to get revenge
And I swear you'll experience that some day

I'm sitting down here,
But hey you can't see me
Kinda invisible
You don't sense my stay
Not truly hiding, not like a shadow
Just thought I would join you for one day

I'm sitting down here,
But hey you can't see me
Kinda invisible
You don't sense my stay
Not truly hiding, not like a shadow
Just thought I would join you for one day

You seem to wanna hurt me
No matter what I do
I'm telling just a couple,
But somehow it gets to you
But I've learned how to get revenge
And I swear you'll experience that some day

3x
I'm sitting down here,
But hey you can't see me
Kinda invisible
You don't sense my stay
Not truly hiding, not like a shadow
Just thought I would join you for one day

turtle

2006-09-05T00:52:00.000+08:00

another gem from my song library. beautifully written song. also wonderfully sang by Dan Haseltine, Ginny Owens and a few more uncredited singers. if you could get your hands on it, do try. it's from the city on the hill album (i can't remember which one). anyway, i'm sharing it across in my shared itunes. if you're within nus, and you could actually access my shared library (it's quite hard to access it apparently), do try to download the song (use the all-time rocking ourTunes).

Marvelous Light
Dan Haseltine, Ginny Owens

You are the light of the world
You are the way, the truth, and the life
You are the light of the world
Leads us out of darkness and into Your marvelous light

You are the light of the world
(Jesus is the light)
You are the way, the truth, and the life
(You are the way)
You are the light of the world
(Jesus is the light)
Leads us out of darkness and into Your marvelous light
(Leads us out of darkness)
and into Your marvelous light
---

today, i've been shoved another piece of work by the people on the top. and did i even bother trying to save my own arse? no. apparently not. the only thing i could say was 'ok!'. why can't i say no? part guilt i guess. i haven't been doing much for them, so i guess another sai kang should be okay. well, i hope it's okay. looking at the current state of affairs, the previous slave (that's how i called myself now) is not in a very good conditions. he's tired and busy, he's also hated by some people, including one of my block people, etc. so i guess, i'm in for the same thing. i still remembered my sms to him today:

'hey ***, are you in your room? i wanna take your *** and suffering from you =P"

fill the first *** with his name and the second *** with the symbolic holder of the job.

ah, and i remembered taking that thing from him and instead was involved with a little chitchat with a group of people preparing for their dnd. i got my fun bits scaring one of the girls about the *** activity. heh, i should stop putting ***, it's getting a bit irritating. and a year from now i'd forget what each *** refers to, sadly.
---

ah, and my number one fans is back. or should i say my favourite stalker. today i received a comment in one of my posts:

wanna play hide n seek, eh?

and as with all his/her previous postings, i don't have a single damn clue of what it means. i only know that the person hates me, period. and today, i also discovered that the person doesn't reside in singapore! wow! so i'm becoming international hate target. i'm so proud of myself.
---

can anyone tell me: what's wrong with the turtle!!!